Reviews from

Haiku (beneath smoky skies)

Observed and heard when temperatures reached 106 degrees.

91 total reviews 
Comment from Boogienights
Excellent
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Sounds like weather I don't like.It never gets that hot in Minnesota, thank goodness! Very descriptive words and a great picture. A few words can say a lot.thanks for sharing this very nice Haiku.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
    Yes, Boogienights, extreme heat and brush fires struck California last week. This week, thunderstorms struck. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from TAB_that's me
Excellent
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Oh, the fires in California - I guess that could make the pinecones pop open.

Great 'p' alliteration in the last line.

Love the satori and the great imagery.

Good luck in the contest.

teresa

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
    Yes, Teresa, California has been so hot that not only are pine cones popping open everywhere, but brush fires are burning, too. Thank you for your review and for noting the alliteration and imagery.
Comment from artemis53
Excellent
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Beautifully done, Sis Cat. Yes. When enough heat is generated the cones break open to displace their seeds to the ground ensuring a progeny and their legends to be kept intact.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
    Yes, artemis53, until reviewers noted the regenerative necessity of pine cones breaking open to release their seeds, I had not thought much of it, only the sound. Thank you for your review.
Comment from apky
Excellent
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Hello again, Sis Cat,

I don't know much about writing poetry, but know quite a bit about enjoying them. So this is indeed a beautiful piece of wordsmith for the Haiku Poetry Contest. You carefully chose your words, making the reader float away in their imagination. I even felt some tranquility here.

Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
    Yes, apky, listening to crackling pine cones pop open on wilted evergreens was a hypnotic experience. Thank you for your review.
Comment from ElegantButler
Excellent
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Ah, California. A place I spent a small portion of my life in. Unfortunately I was in Garden Grove and never got to hear the pine cones pop open. I bet it's a unique sound.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
    Yes, ElegantButler, until this heat wave, I had never heard pine cones pop open before. I usually stay inside when it's hot, but my dog insisted on a walk which is when I heard the inspiration for my Haiku. Thank you for your review.
Comment from JDRBAR
Good
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I'm sorry to downgrade this, but your second line contradicts itself. Something that is wilted doesn't crackle. It spoils the imagery. Just my opinion.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
    Oh, JDBAR, it is the pine needles that wilt and brown in the 106 degree heat wave while the pine cones on the trees crackle when they pop open. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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I can remember walking in the woods in Spain and hearing just what you heard. The heat and the loud silence heightened everything. I enjoyed your Haiku, and wish you the best of luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
    Yes, Sandra, hearing pop cones pop open is a hypnotic experience when the forest is quiet. Thank you for your review and for wishing me luck in the contest.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Haiku (beneath smoky skies), is short, succinct and very much to the point. This talented poet's work was a delight to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll keep reading.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
    Thank you, Duchess, for your cheerful, six star review. I will keep writing! Thanks for reading.
Comment from marybell1
Excellent
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I enjoyed reading your 5-7-5 haiku, "Beneath Smokey Skies". You followed all the rules for this genre. 106 degrees sounds rather hot. We live in centigrade and over 35 is getting hot.
All the best.
Marybell1.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
    Thank you, Marybell1, for your review. despite scattered showers, temperatures reached 108 today and brush fires rage across Los Angeles. Thank you for your review. i am glad you enjoyed my Haiku.
reply by marybell1 on 07-Sep-2017
    You are most welcome.
    Marybell1.
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Excellent
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Sis Cat, this is a beautiful entry for the Haiku Poetry Contest. The finely chosen words allowed me to drift along with the imaginary smell to the scene of pine cones popping. A perfectly crafted haiku and one that should present well in the contest. Best of luck. ~DD

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
    Thank you, DD, for your generous review and contest well wishes. If my dog had not insisted that I take her on a walk in 106 degree heat when the sidewalks were void of people, I would not have heard these popping pine cones.
reply by PoemsOfDD on 04-Sep-2017
    Don't you just love your best friend :-) she pushes you to exercise which then gets your creative juices jogging. Love it!