Comment from Asem.inspirations

Excellent

Good morning Patty: I remember days like this waiting for that phone to ring. Wanting to know what will happen, where is he and what time should I appear at the courthouse if I must?

Your Lune Poetry Contest entry gave me memories so good job and that picture - wow - it really stands out and demands attention, good choice.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017

Hi Tier;
I wrote the poem about the phone calls surrounding jail - that one phone call you get, a phone call from the bailbondsmen that you have a bond, and a phone call from home. Worse - the call that never comes.

Jail time hangs in the balance.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing,
~patty~

Comment from rtobaygo

Excellent

Good morning, Patty
You did a great job with the five-three-five syllable format, while conveying a sense of dread, the agonizing wait to regarding one's fate.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017

Hi Ray;
thank you so much for reading this piece. This was really about waiting for a call as to whether or not bail was coming,

~patty~

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

Today's the last day,
Will he call?
Or is jail his fate?

I never quite know how to comment on these short pieces, Patty - particularly when expected to write so many characters - all I can say is:
A clever use of words in this short piece..
and the best of luck with the contest, my friend.

Margaret

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017

Hi Margaret;
thank you so much for the lovely review of this poem. I played with several meanings on this one, and I think it came across,

~patty~

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

The story is not completely told, but maybe that was your intentions. You wrote enough to make it interesting. This has a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017

Hi Charlie;
I purposely left the story open to interpretation. I've had quite a few guesses, and some were pretty close. I think I was thinking about the call I'm waiting for from my son 'someday,' that he is in or going to jail. He will ask for help, and I will tell him to get into rehab. 'The call' is about going to rehab OR going to jail.

A convoluted thought put into such a few words, huh?

~patty~

reply by c_lucas on 03-Sep-2017

Will the right choice be made?

Comment from marybell1

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your lune "Decisions". You followed all the rules for this genre. You also chose a very appropriate photo.
All the best.
Marybell1.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017

Hi there;
thank you so much for the lovely review,

~patty~

reply by marybell1 on 03-Sep-2017

You are most welcome.
Marybell1.

reply by marybell1 on 03-Sep-2017

You are most welcome.
Marybell1.

Comment from Natali Holden

Excellent

The picture for this is great. It clearly says the last line, "Or is jail his fate?" The title is good for it. Will he choose to call for bail? And for a second I wonder why he wouldn't, but it's probably because he's embarrassed, but he might. And as you say, "time will tell". The syllable count is correct. Good luck in the contest!
Natali ;)

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017

Hi Natali;
I'm glad you enjoyed this lune. I had a good time writing it and leaving it up to interpretation. You would be surprised at some of the guesses I've had,

~patty~

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

Oh yes my friend this is well written this does show what decisions in life sometimes are taken out of our hands we just have to wait for answers well done good luck in the contest regards Jill

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017

Hi Jill;
thank you so much for the wonderful review of this lune poem.

~patty~

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

Terrific work with this one. Perfect syllable count and awesome subject that is superbly presented. I sincerely wish you all the best in this contest.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017

Hi Sasha;
thank you so much for the review and well wishes.

~patty~

Comment from Bucketlist

Excellent

I hope this is not your son's plight. Your Lune has a shock value to it, and is an anxiety provoked. Thanks for sharing, good luck in the contest
Hugs, Trisha

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017

Hi Trisha;

I don't think it is a plight facing my son, but I do know it could happen at anytime. Thank you for your review and good wishes in the contest; both are appreciated,

~patty~

reply by Bucketlist on 02-Sep-2017

It's like 'waiting for the other shoe to drop'., terrible

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

Today's the last day,
Will he call?
Or is jail his fate?

Interesting lines Patty I have a couple interpretations on what you are alluding to here. there are several scenarios that would bring about your lines.

Last day of apology? but is an apology really good enough for what he obviously did?
Will he call to remedy your hurt?
or, is he just going to be an arsehole and get his just desserts?

dip

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017

Hi dip; well, you are close to where I was going - but then, it can be taken so many ways!

I was alluding to the call from the bail bondsman. Did the person you call with your one phone call bail you out? Find someone to bail you out? Or will you sit in jail?

~patty~