Comment from Asem.inspirations

Excellent

Hello Patty: I definitely believe that the thunder in this picture will do what ever you need it to do - unclog the mind, bring refreshing breeze, wake up your thought, the beast and everything else. (lol)

This is an exciting piece. The thought of the thunder gives a clear picture of bringing and giving power and revitalization. GREAT!

Oh and the post that was posted that you said you were not informed about was, "I Want You, I Want You Now!" and the new post is "Grand Mom's Lost" Let me know what you think, please.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017

Hi Tier;
thank you so much for reading this piece.

I did find your pieces and reviewed - I hope they made sense.

~patty~

reply by Asem.inspirations on 09-Sep-2017

Yes, I see that you did find "Grand Mom's Lost" and "Needs" I think you just didn't see "I Want You, I Want You Now!" I will respond to the reviews a little later tonight. Thank you so much for reviewing my work and being a loyal friend.

Comment from jaded831

Excellent

You made me feel your poem, I'm reminded of a hot summer night, silently praying for relief. A brief thunderstorm does the trick, suddenly breezes blow and there is no need for air conditioning, cause nature provides.

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017

Hi there;
thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm glad you were able to feel the words of my poem,

~patty~

Comment from marybell1

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your tanks "He who brings the thunder". You followed all the rules for this genre. It is a very descriptive poem and you chose a very appropriate photo.
All the best.
Marybell1.

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017

thank you so much for the lovely review of my tanka,

~patty~

Comment from angelea paugh

Good

This is a new form of poetry to me. I find I need to branch out and try new forms of writing outside of what I am used too. Thank you so much for sharing.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017

Hi there; I'm not entirely sure why you chose to rate the poem as 'good.' Was there a problem with spelling or context? Since you are not familiar with the type of poetry, I'm reasonably sure it isn't the content.

When you aren't sure of how to rate something, it is a good idea to look at other reviews. You can find the 'read reviews' button at the bottom of the screen.

This poem has received all fives and a few sixes - your four needs to be explained to me, please.

~patty~

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

Fine tanka. I love your impressionistic images of inspiration. Your poem refreshes. My favorite lines are the last two, describing beast as a muse for creativity.

Thank you for sharing. I wish you contest success.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017

Hi Andre;
thank you so much for reading and reviewing my tanka. I'm glad you found it refreshing,

~patty~

Comment from GWinterwin

Excellent

Good picture with realistic words to match. Not sure if you are saying that the beast brings down the thunder or not. Anyway a sobering thought as you speak words of feeling.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 09-Sep-2017

thank you so much for your lovely review. Your time in reading is greatly appreciated,

~patty~

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Yeah, that's what I say too, Patty.
Bring it on, Girly man!
Your tanka entry is very well composed and true to the tanka form.
Perfect syllable count, vivid imagery and a stunning presentation.
What more could any discerning reader ask for?
Okay, so the scent of ozone wafting in the air and booming thunder would be great too, but technology hasn't figured out how to make smells emit from our computers just yet.
In my case that's probably a good thing, heh-heh.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017

Hi Dean;
I'm so glad you found this a good tanka and true to form. I've been working on the Japanese formats, and trying to find the words to bring out meanings - so your praise sounds wonderful!

I will work on computers that can emulate smell - or find someone who can,

~patty~

reply by Dean Kuch on 03-Sep-2017

You're welcome, Patty.
That'd be nice.
~Dean :)

Comment from emptypage

Excellent

I love this, Pat, but I truly have zero understanding of all these different forms of poetry. I see writers' block bursting wide open in these words, and more power to the bringer of thunder. I loved that image of the awakening beast.

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017

Hi Marla;
(note; please call me Patty; my mother and brother call me Pat - and I've never really liked it.)

thank you so much for the wonderful review of this piece. Yes, sometimes my muse is like the bringer of thunder, and then other days, he simply sits there.

~patty~

reply by emptypage on 02-Sep-2017

You've got it.

Comment from pome lover

Excellent

good tanka
extreme heat does sap the bod and the mind which, indeed, makes it hard to create. don't know about your early mornings, but ours are cool and wonderful - good time to write outdoors - or enjoy a storm. (thunder-beast and all) :)
good luck in the contest.
pome lover

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017

Hi there;
thank you so much for reading and reviewing. My muse tends to show up like thunder, because at other times, he simply lies around,

~patty~

Comment from G.K.Phoenix

Excellent

Nice Tanka.

I am new to this site but found your poem interesting and now I am longing for a Melbourne summer storm.

May I ask, who/what is the beast? The thunder? Also, who is 'him'?

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2017

---

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017

Hi there;
welcome to FanStory. The 'beast' is my muse, and the thunder is that surge accompanying the urge to write. 'He' is the reference to my muse.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

~patty~