Comment from doggymad

Excellent

Well done, in this work you have captured the essence of what I understand flash fiction to be.

You painted a picture of a bad day but I certainly wasn't expecting the poor man to be that unlucky

best of luck in the contest

hugs

Freda

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2017

Thanks so much doggy.

Comment from BOO ghost

Excellent

Must been a rattler. What finished the trip was the snake. Yep, surely it did. Since you will die I would try anything to suck that poison put. Peel a cactus and see if it would draw poison out,since cactus are good at circulating little water. Maybe some cigarette 'backe if you got some. Time to say some prayers to the one that gave life. be thankful for the days He has given us. Good luck in this contest! BOO-tastic!

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2017

Thanks much Ghost.

reply by BOO ghost on 14-Sep-2017

Oil them pistols or whistle Dixie.

Comment from Ric Myworld

Exceptional

This story has about as distinct of a beginning, middle, and end as any writer could ever create. And especially, in 102 words. The action of a fight, frustration of a broken down car, peacefulness of the desert, and just when his anger is subsiding, a snakebite ends his life. Great job. :-)

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2017

Thanks so much Ric, your reviews are always most valued and I am so pleased with the froggy green star.

Comment from jenintorre

Exceptional

Wow. Loved your flash fiction. Great story in so few words.
What more can I say. I wish you luck in the competition.
Best wishes. Jen.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2017

Thanks so much! Truly appreciate my favorite color star and am honored you thought it worthy.

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Seems "Bill" did indeed have a bad day.

Complete story told in just a few words.

Should make an interesting entry into this contest.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2017

Thanks, Brett, much appreciated.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

I really enjoyed this piece. What else was there to do indeed? A tinge of melancholy or simply resignation about the write. good tone to it. nicely done.

GMG

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2017

Thanks so much. Appreciate your reading and valued thoughts.

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

This speaks a story of waiting for death, once Bill made a long trip and fell in a mishap in a desert, so helpless, solitary, lack of food or drinking, waited for death after a snake bite; I liked.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2017

I am glad you liked and appreciate the read.