Comment from Mitchell Brontė

Excellent

Simple answer my friend...unfortunately not, those of us that do our best will always fall short and something as futile as a dirty dish can tip the scales...ha ha
Great writing Dip
Mitchell

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017

Thanks as always Mitchell I really appreciate your support

dip

Comment from Heather Knight

Excellent

This is funny and cute.
But I think there are some very good men out there. Mine is the best, of course ;)
The picture is adorable and perfect for this poem.
Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017

It was the photo that inspired the poem in a cute way

thanks for the review Maria

dip

Comment from Thal1959

Exceptional

Getting in touch with your inner sissy boy, D? Honestly, outside of the usual metrical burp, this is very well composed. It has a great structure. The burp is...
"When I grow old he'll be always there
Holding out a rose to show his care"

Both of these stretch the tetrameter to a pentameter. May I humbly suggest...

"When I grow old he will be there
Offering a rose to show he cares"

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017

You wouldn't believe this but a reviewer told me to change from your suggestion to what I have now for perfect rhyme fk I just can't win! lol

I will meet you half way : Offering a rose to show his care

dip

reply by Thal1959 on 29-Aug-2017

Hey, hey, hey... whose the Master Splinter here? The first line in question can stay as it is, the second line is a pentameter and the stretch to the meter is in the words "holding out."

Hard sounding letters like hard C, D, G, K, P, T, and X can cause the tongue to trip on a word or word combinations. The first syllable "hol/ding out" is soft, but it is followed by a D and G in ding, and the T in out. This forms a "Bacchius" which is an unstressed/stressed/stressed syllable scheme. "Offering" or even off'ring smooths the line out. As you know, I sometimes fudge on meter if certain words just have to be a part of the verse for the storytelling purposes. But there is no significant or profound difference between "holding out" and "offering" unless you had already established a play on the word "hold" or holding"

If you had made a focal point out of "holding me,' or "held me," or "we hold onto each other," etc., where the word hold is special, then saying "holding out a rose" would have a subliminal meaning and would be one of those instances where using the words "holding out" would have been more important than the metrical hiccup it might cause.

reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017

wow now that is a lesson! thank you Splinter! lol

I'll put that in my metrical head in future. I have to learn to stop and smell the roses with my 3 min poetry and maybe take my time and read over things more carefully instead of brashly posting I always seem to be revisiting after reviews and rewriting after advice for the better I might add.

thanks as always for you tuition in poetic form I sincerely appreciate it

grasshopper

Comment from AnnieDawn

Excellent

I enjoyed your choice of poetry subject and the way you have carried it out. It is unique and enjoyable to read. I did have trouble with the flow in the third stanza's last line as it does not quite fit in with the flow of the other lines. Re-arranging the words a bit would help. Otherwise great job on this one. (Maybe it could be 'Holding a rose shows he does care.')

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 Comment Written 29-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017

Yeah I know what you mean Annie i have revisited and reworked a couple of lines and when read aloud it reads better now.

thank you so much

dip

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Exceptional

A very well-written satire poem. The only perfect man exists in our dreams for real. There are no dirty socks that smell very bad. He never gets mad at you and just always e there when you need someone close. A super dream. Lol.

 Comment Written 29-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017

Thanks for the 6 Sandra I am glad you saw the funny side to it.

dip

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

Yes, many strive to find the perfect mate. Sometimes one finds one by accepting the person's flaws and imperfections and loving him or her anyway. Sometimes when one is in love, the imperfections are not seen or do not matter. Love goes much deeper. Those who seek a Prince Charming who is perfect in every way are often disappointed because they set unrealistically high standards. I think one must focus on his or her own qualities to make him or herself an ideal mate.

This is a thoughtful poem on this subject and I particularly love these lines:

The perfect kiss the perfect rose
The perfect wish in perfect prose

They have a smoothness and elegance.

Thank you for sharing a woman's dream of a perfect mate. I hope it comes true for her!

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 Comment Written 29-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017

Thankyou as always Andre much appreciated.

dip