The Enormity of Silence
A true account26 total reviews
Comment from Lucian Carter
A touching poem it was very brave of you to publish. Very strong work. Very deserving of recognition.
Quibble:
I know the lack of punctuation is by choice, but I'm not a fan.
This is the second piece I have read by you and I hope to read more.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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A touching poem it was very brave of you to publish. Very strong work. Very deserving of recognition.
Quibble:
I know the lack of punctuation is by choice, but I'm not a fan.
This is the second piece I have read by you and I hope to read more.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
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Thanks so much, Lucian and I will look forward to seeing some of your work. JoAnn
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Oh, this is incredibly heart-wrenching, JoAnn. An awful thing to experience. The fact that you were both so young at the time makes it doubly as heart-wrenching. I'm so sorry for your loss.
You've really captured the shock and emotions that took hold at the time. "frantic" ... this word speaks volumes. Perfect title!
Congrats on your contest win, but I truly wish it didn't result from you personally having had to go through this awful experience in real life. Hugs, Connie
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Oh, this is incredibly heart-wrenching, JoAnn. An awful thing to experience. The fact that you were both so young at the time makes it doubly as heart-wrenching. I'm so sorry for your loss.
You've really captured the shock and emotions that took hold at the time. "frantic" ... this word speaks volumes. Perfect title!
Congrats on your contest win, but I truly wish it didn't result from you personally having had to go through this awful experience in real life. Hugs, Connie
Comment Written 02-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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You are so kind. Much appreciate you comments and review. JoAnn
Comment from Sis Cat
I am voting for your poem. You tell a true, stark account of the worst quiet of all--that of the death of your husband. Your poem explodes with "The frantic commotion of trauma" with your husband's death. You open up your heart and pain to reveal the chaos of the moment as the paramedics arrive and attempt to revive him only to whisk him away to the hospital where you first fight the devastating news And then acquiesce;
I want to say, "You are lying, all of you!"
But I began to know the worst is true
I calm down, I can't look at anyone
Finally, I acquiesce.
Poem ends on the worst note of all for a grieving wife, making a profound use of the keyword "quiet":
They leave me alone with him
I hold his hand
I tell him I love him, one more plea not to go
But, I only hear ...quiet.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, pain, and experiences. I am sorry for your loss. I wish you success in the contest with your deep, raw entry.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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I am voting for your poem. You tell a true, stark account of the worst quiet of all--that of the death of your husband. Your poem explodes with "The frantic commotion of trauma" with your husband's death. You open up your heart and pain to reveal the chaos of the moment as the paramedics arrive and attempt to revive him only to whisk him away to the hospital where you first fight the devastating news And then acquiesce;
I want to say, "You are lying, all of you!"
But I began to know the worst is true
I calm down, I can't look at anyone
Finally, I acquiesce.
Poem ends on the worst note of all for a grieving wife, making a profound use of the keyword "quiet":
They leave me alone with him
I hold his hand
I tell him I love him, one more plea not to go
But, I only hear ...quiet.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, pain, and experiences. I am sorry for your loss. I wish you success in the contest with your deep, raw entry.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Coming from you this vote means the world. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing this piece.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I can relate to your poem, you describe your feeling of that day so well, like my husband, yours was also very young, much to young to die. You should do very well in the contest. Well done and good luck. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
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I can relate to your poem, you describe your feeling of that day so well, like my husband, yours was also very young, much to young to die. You should do very well in the contest. Well done and good luck. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 01-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
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Thanks my friend.
Comment from EverInParadise
Very nice, well done. This contest may bring up many variation and ideas. Yours is compelling, requiring noise to attest to the deadly silence. I think this should be among the entries that make it to the judging.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
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Very nice, well done. This contest may bring up many variation and ideas. Yours is compelling, requiring noise to attest to the deadly silence. I think this should be among the entries that make it to the judging.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
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Thanks so much. This one is a vote so hopefully other writers feel the way you do and I thank you for your thoughtful review and for the wonderful green star!
Comment from TPAC
Writer in this work has an appealing story, touching statements disclosed in heart break, final separation from mate. I felt the need for a stronger end.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
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Writer in this work has an appealing story, touching statements disclosed in heart break, final separation from mate. I felt the need for a stronger end.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
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Thanks, has to end with the word quiet. But I will evaluate your suggestion.
Comment from Wendy Winter
Gut wrenching. We just lost our Son so I understand these emotions and appreciate the way your turned them into a work of art. Death visits us all sooner or later, I know how hard it is to be the one left behind. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
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Gut wrenching. We just lost our Son so I understand these emotions and appreciate the way your turned them into a work of art. Death visits us all sooner or later, I know how hard it is to be the one left behind. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
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I am so sorry to hear of your son. That has to be the hardest! I really appreciate your thoughtful review and this wonderful green star.
Comment from bertranclan
First of all, I love your title. Your poem describes well the nearness of death and then the finality. I liked how the author pushed the priest aside--sometimes we don't want spiritual help or intervention. Apparently this is a true account. I am sorry for all involved. Effective poem, though. Thank you for posting.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
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First of all, I love your title. Your poem describes well the nearness of death and then the finality. I liked how the author pushed the priest aside--sometimes we don't want spiritual help or intervention. Apparently this is a true account. I am sorry for all involved. Effective poem, though. Thank you for posting.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
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Thanks so much for your reading and thoughtful comments.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I'm so sorry for your loss. You're right, silence can be horrible. Since my diagnosis of congestive heart failure, my wife listens to every sound I make at night.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
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I'm so sorry for your loss. You're right, silence can be horrible. Since my diagnosis of congestive heart failure, my wife listens to every sound I make at night.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
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I bet she does Thomas. I hope this finds you well. Thanks for reading and your thoughtful comments.
Comment from Chrissy710
Wow This is such a good piece a great impact and really captures the terrible angst and realization of losing a loved one in such sad circumstances. only someone who has gone through this could capture this scene as you have. My condolences for your loss . A n excellent poem good luck in the contest Christine
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017
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Wow This is such a good piece a great impact and really captures the terrible angst and realization of losing a loved one in such sad circumstances. only someone who has gone through this could capture this scene as you have. My condolences for your loss . A n excellent poem good luck in the contest Christine
Comment Written 30-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017
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Thanks so much for your kind words and review. And I am truly honored by the wonderful green star!
