Comment from poetsteve15

Excellent

Now that I like. It is funny, the picture goes with the writing. Not sure if that is true haiku or not I through they were be 5 7 5 but either way I like this one lot better. GB

 Comment Written 31-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017

Hi, Steve

Yes, it is haiku even though it's not the norm here at Fanstory. The 5-7-5 form is more of a teaching tool to get folks started. It's a good way to learn the basics and get the idea of how the Japanese write them. Actually they can be in four lines or even one. BUT, yes, the norm is three lines and the key is SHORT, using as few words as possible. So, really, less than 5-7-5 is the goal. If you go to the Challenges Forum, there's a haiku club. Lots of members and there's a weekly challenge, that's what this piece is. Some real experts there as well as beginners. But everyone is happy to pass on information and there's a LOT to talk about with haiku, way more than I ever dreamed of that's for sure. Anyway, thanks kindly. mike

Comment from BOO ghost

Excellent

Haiku Club Challenges, Book II. OK. This is on insects. he --he. Clever, use the Greyhound for mobilization. They smart fleas. Be back shortly with another review. Two line haiku. Not a fan of confound it fleas! Got cats, hopefully they not got fleabite tabefactions. BOO's castle quarantined because of fleas with black plague. he --he. BOO-tastic!

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2017

Comment from Gloria ....

Exceptional

Ha, Mav. This is adorable and that Greyhound doggie definitely looks like he is carrying his fleas with great speed and in flight too! Some genius marketer should start Greyhound Airlines. Hmmm, maybe not. lol.

Excellent addition to your group's Haiku book!

Ange

 Comment Written 26-Aug-2017

Comment from Poetic Friend

Excellent

Wow, what a play on words in that last line! This is very, very clever. This poem can interpreted in multiple ways. It could be literally "fleas" on the greyhound breed or metaphorically speaking, the "fleas" could symbolize people who take the Greyhound bus.

It is unbelievable that you managed to speak volumes with minimal syllables.

Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 26-Aug-2017

Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson

Excellent

Lol, this was a very cute and clever insect Haiku, Michael. Well done.
"fleas use Greyhound". That's hilarious. ~Kerry

 Comment Written 26-Aug-2017