Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "haiku (the ghost of Mamie Thurmond)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
52 total reviews
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Weirdly, I was just reading this story today, Dean. While you know I love the long poems, this is a great little Haiku and effectively sums up the story. Poor Mamie, never stood a chance, lets hope she raises hell from beyond the grave! well done Meia :) (I must correct myself, a different Marnie I was reading about today- this story is extraordinarily similar, quite amazing)
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Weirdly, I was just reading this story today, Dean. While you know I love the long poems, this is a great little Haiku and effectively sums up the story. Poor Mamie, never stood a chance, lets hope she raises hell from beyond the grave! well done Meia :) (I must correct myself, a different Marnie I was reading about today- this story is extraordinarily similar, quite amazing)
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from DR DIP
now I know diddly shit about haiku dean , only what you have told me and taught me in some extensive authors notes, but I look at this piece and call it 5-7-5 poetry I am probably wrong but it just doesn't to have the punchline last line like I am used to with a haiku. don't get me wrong they are still great words that accompany your picture perfectly.
Was this a test to make sure people read your poetry properly? lol
Misinterpretation is my main gripe with this site unfortunately
Great authors notes Dean and to tell a story in 3 lines is a great talent.
dip
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now I know diddly shit about haiku dean , only what you have told me and taught me in some extensive authors notes, but I look at this piece and call it 5-7-5 poetry I am probably wrong but it just doesn't to have the punchline last line like I am used to with a haiku. don't get me wrong they are still great words that accompany your picture perfectly.
Was this a test to make sure people read your poetry properly? lol
Misinterpretation is my main gripe with this site unfortunately
Great authors notes Dean and to tell a story in 3 lines is a great talent.
dip
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from BOO ghost
Supernatural poetry, BOO's favorite theme. Picture brings chills up me spine. Appreciate the author notes. If BOO sees here will let you know because BOO is living in purgatory, the spiritual world. Good word choices you used. This sentence caught my attention: In addition, the primary evidence against the handyman was blood found in a car he often drove and was seen driving the night of Mamie's murder. Well done but BOO is out of nuggets. BOO-tastic!
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Supernatural poetry, BOO's favorite theme. Picture brings chills up me spine. Appreciate the author notes. If BOO sees here will let you know because BOO is living in purgatory, the spiritual world. Good word choices you used. This sentence caught my attention: In addition, the primary evidence against the handyman was blood found in a car he often drove and was seen driving the night of Mamie's murder. Well done but BOO is out of nuggets. BOO-tastic!
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku. Many men with a big bank account balance have the idea that it is their tight to use and abuse woman as they like. They abuse their legal wife and use the other woman.
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A very well-written haiku. Many men with a big bank account balance have the idea that it is their tight to use and abuse woman as they like. They abuse their legal wife and use the other woman.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from Teri7
Dean, This is a very well written story you have penned in a poem. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Very good job. Blessings, Teri
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Dean, This is a very well written story you have penned in a poem. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Very good job. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Not a good job to be the chauffeur of the wealthy in the rural South at the time, right? Your haiku meets all of the requirements. The illustration is eerie & with your well chosen words it all makes great sense Dean.
thanks for the notes. I really like historical 'stuff' & will have to look into this when I have some more time next year. [ok asap]. I ekil the rhyme roams/loam / the alliteration grave/green/ghost.
Good job & thanks for another great poem. Jan
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Not a good job to be the chauffeur of the wealthy in the rural South at the time, right? Your haiku meets all of the requirements. The illustration is eerie & with your well chosen words it all makes great sense Dean.
thanks for the notes. I really like historical 'stuff' & will have to look into this when I have some more time next year. [ok asap]. I ekil the rhyme roams/loam / the alliteration grave/green/ghost.
Good job & thanks for another great poem. Jan
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh wow and it works for me. Love the notes you gave for us to understand allowing it to make sense and know who this unlucky lady was.
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Oh wow and it works for me. Love the notes you gave for us to understand allowing it to make sense and know who this unlucky lady was.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from Poetic Friend
Wow, Dean, your author's notes were intriguing as the poem. Was the handyman found guilty of the murder? I guess the answer is looming at her grave.
In relative to your well-written poem, you managed to tell such a chilling story about Mamie with such few syllables. Excellent word economy!
I love alliteration in the last line.
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Wow, Dean, your author's notes were intriguing as the poem. Was the handyman found guilty of the murder? I guess the answer is looming at her grave.
In relative to your well-written poem, you managed to tell such a chilling story about Mamie with such few syllables. Excellent word economy!
I love alliteration in the last line.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from Sasha
Fascinating story that inspired this haiku. It seems the handyman was in the wrong job at the wrong time. The first two lines connect perfectly and your satori is superb. Very nice work with this one (I am once again out of 6's...sorry).
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Fascinating story that inspired this haiku. It seems the handyman was in the wrong job at the wrong time. The first two lines connect perfectly and your satori is superb. Very nice work with this one (I am once again out of 6's...sorry).
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from Susanjohn
Poor pitiful Mamie!..We may never know the truth..and roam she will for eternity! Oh Dean, another wonderful Haiku, creepified story, eerielicious picture..yep, I love it! WAIT!!! where is the music to make my skin crawl?
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Poor pitiful Mamie!..We may never know the truth..and roam she will for eternity! Oh Dean, another wonderful Haiku, creepified story, eerielicious picture..yep, I love it! WAIT!!! where is the music to make my skin crawl?
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
