Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "haiku (the ghost of Mamie Thurmond)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
52 total reviews
Comment from Heather Knight
I love narrative poems, so I have enjoyed reading your haiku and the author's notes. I had never heard this story before. Poor woman and poor handyman! I bet he was innocent...
Thanks for sharing.
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I love narrative poems, so I have enjoyed reading your haiku and the author's notes. I had never heard this story before. Poor woman and poor handyman! I bet he was innocent...
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Believe it or not Dean, I don't mind the idea of a ghost roaming around. I kinda like the security of knowing we don't just go to black, we still are around. Great write. Good luck. xoxo deborah
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Believe it or not Dean, I don't mind the idea of a ghost roaming around. I kinda like the security of knowing we don't just go to black, we still are around. Great write. Good luck. xoxo deborah
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
Comment from Hitcher
Cool Haiku Dean, the story is a classic, it reminds me of the Green Mile, and the rather large black inmate,(Michael Clarke Duncan) accused of the wrongful murder of the two young girls. I love that movie!! Nice mate, very nice!
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Cool Haiku Dean, the story is a classic, it reminds me of the Green Mile, and the rather large black inmate,(Michael Clarke Duncan) accused of the wrongful murder of the two young girls. I love that movie!! Nice mate, very nice!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
Comment from rama devi
in a woodland grave
among green hills and lush loam--
Mamie's ghost still roams
This captures the tone and tenor of the story and has superb phonetics with alliteration of G and L and consonance of L and S as well as assonant/consonant near rhymes of OAM in loam and roams. However, rhyme is taboo in haiku. but I love the impact of the rhyme in this one. Well done. Finely presented. Good flow.
Warmly, rd
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in a woodland grave
among green hills and lush loam--
Mamie's ghost still roams
This captures the tone and tenor of the story and has superb phonetics with alliteration of G and L and consonance of L and S as well as assonant/consonant near rhymes of OAM in loam and roams. However, rhyme is taboo in haiku. but I love the impact of the rhyme in this one. Well done. Finely presented. Good flow.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Hi Dean,
A n eye catching image and interesting subject choice.
Dark mystery indeed.( excuse the pun.)
Poor Mamie- she giveth and someone taketh away.
A prime example of clever Haiku.
:-) Shirley
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Hi Dean,
A n eye catching image and interesting subject choice.
Dark mystery indeed.( excuse the pun.)
Poor Mamie- she giveth and someone taketh away.
A prime example of clever Haiku.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 25-Aug-2017
Comment from artemis53
Thanks for this, Dean. The ghost only knows since we cant see beyond this plain. Some thing change and some do not. God grant us that we see the difference.
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Thanks for this, Dean. The ghost only knows since we cant see beyond this plain. Some thing change and some do not. God grant us that we see the difference.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from lyenochka
If only her ghost would wake up justice! Sad story overall and told in a very few words. Good rhyme of loam and roams. And good alliteration (lush loam) and assonance of long 'o's (loam, roam, ghost).
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If only her ghost would wake up justice! Sad story overall and told in a very few words. Good rhyme of loam and roams. And good alliteration (lush loam) and assonance of long 'o's (loam, roam, ghost).
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from damommy
This is very good. Just those few words told a lot of story.
Your author notes were very interesting. I hope the black handyman was let go and they found the real killer.
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This is very good. Just those few words told a lot of story.
Your author notes were very interesting. I hope the black handyman was let go and they found the real killer.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from krys123
Wowzie, Dean;
-what a fantastic story that I read in your author's notes and what a crime-stopper if ever I've read one. How she flirted with defensiveness until it cost her, her life.
I've seen plenty of shows of Eliot Ness and all those speakeasies that sprung up during the anti-alcoholic prohibition, however, there was a high use of cocaine and opium during that time. Chuckle! And they call him The Rapper. I found that the term The Rapper is a term used in drug speakeasies. As she is the pusher of scene. She is married to a law enforcement officer or deputy, and they must have known it wasn't that caretaker/chauffeur that killed her Wow!
-Excellent pictures that is just stunning and a great choice to add the spectrum of mystery to your haiku which just complements the story in your author's notes.
-To grammatically connected lines describing the place were she was probably murdered or brought to after she was murdered. And this was described with definitively and demonstratively vivid awareness.
-What I believe the satori is maybe the third line which incorporates a magnificent and ghostly spectrum which goes hand-in-hand with the picture. This definitely gives that aha moment of spontaneity and excitement.
-Thanks for sharing this, my friend, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
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Wowzie, Dean;
-what a fantastic story that I read in your author's notes and what a crime-stopper if ever I've read one. How she flirted with defensiveness until it cost her, her life.
I've seen plenty of shows of Eliot Ness and all those speakeasies that sprung up during the anti-alcoholic prohibition, however, there was a high use of cocaine and opium during that time. Chuckle! And they call him The Rapper. I found that the term The Rapper is a term used in drug speakeasies. As she is the pusher of scene. She is married to a law enforcement officer or deputy, and they must have known it wasn't that caretaker/chauffeur that killed her Wow!
-Excellent pictures that is just stunning and a great choice to add the spectrum of mystery to your haiku which just complements the story in your author's notes.
-To grammatically connected lines describing the place were she was probably murdered or brought to after she was murdered. And this was described with definitively and demonstratively vivid awareness.
-What I believe the satori is maybe the third line which incorporates a magnificent and ghostly spectrum which goes hand-in-hand with the picture. This definitely gives that aha moment of spontaneity and excitement.
-Thanks for sharing this, my friend, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
Comment from Drew Delaney
I suppose the frumpy, jealous wife might have reason to kill her husband. They used to call it temporary insanity when such things occurred.
Love the pic and the poem, Dean.
Interesting read! Drew
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I suppose the frumpy, jealous wife might have reason to kill her husband. They used to call it temporary insanity when such things occurred.
Love the pic and the poem, Dean.
Interesting read! Drew
Comment Written 24-Aug-2017
