Free Verse Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Slack-Jawed Tide"A collection of free verse poems
67 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
Thank you so much for introducing me to some terms and phrases that I was not familiar with beforehand. Not only did you skillfully introduce these words and phrases, you used them in such a way that your poem took on a personality that actually implanted into my mind a visual image that I found a bit disturbing, which incidentally conflicted with the serene illustration that accompanies the post. Was that intentional?
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Thank you so much for introducing me to some terms and phrases that I was not familiar with beforehand. Not only did you skillfully introduce these words and phrases, you used them in such a way that your poem took on a personality that actually implanted into my mind a visual image that I found a bit disturbing, which incidentally conflicted with the serene illustration that accompanies the post. Was that intentional?
Comment Written 23-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Very many thanks, Nomi, for dropping by to review and for your generous comments.Much appreciated. Yes, there was some intention to contrast the smooth surface of things with the hidden depths and dangers that lurk beneath. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from estory
I loved all those 's' sounds you strung together in this, that sound of slurping water, undermining our firm footing, dragging us down,,, to death. That sting of the jelly fish. a spooky tale estory
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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I loved all those 's' sounds you strung together in this, that sound of slurping water, undermining our firm footing, dragging us down,,, to death. That sting of the jelly fish. a spooky tale estory
Comment Written 23-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Very many thanks, estory, for dropping by to review and for your generous comments. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from Debra White
Hi Tony,
I really enjoyed your atmospheric free verse.
Lots of lovely alliteration throughout and fabulous imagery.
Solipsistic is a great word - I didn't know what it meant before I read your glossary, and I probably won't use it in my day to day vocabulary (!) but I love it!
Very well presented also.
Regards, Debra :)
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Hi Tony,
I really enjoyed your atmospheric free verse.
Lots of lovely alliteration throughout and fabulous imagery.
Solipsistic is a great word - I didn't know what it meant before I read your glossary, and I probably won't use it in my day to day vocabulary (!) but I love it!
Very well presented also.
Regards, Debra :)
Comment Written 23-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Very many thanks, Debra, for dropping by to review and for your generous comments. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from Ogden
Tony, I have the impression that you experienced an unfortunate encounter with one of these creatures, and your poem is designed to get revenge. If that beast is still alive and out there somewhere, is literate with a good vocabulary, sensitive about its image, and accesses FS regularly, I think you may be even. Or perhaps not.
Don
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Tony, I have the impression that you experienced an unfortunate encounter with one of these creatures, and your poem is designed to get revenge. If that beast is still alive and out there somewhere, is literate with a good vocabulary, sensitive about its image, and accesses FS regularly, I think you may be even. Or perhaps not.
Don
Comment Written 23-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Very many thanks, Ogden, for dropping by to review and for your generous award of six stars.Much appreciated. No, I've not been stung, but I have from time to time treated those who have. I seldom venture into the sea - not my element! Tony
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Slack Jawed Tide", is an extremely well-written, deftly descriptive and intriguing piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. As an Australian, I've met these jellyfish far too often. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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"Slack Jawed Tide", is an extremely well-written, deftly descriptive and intriguing piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. As an Australian, I've met these jellyfish far too often. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Very many thanks, Duchess, for dropping by to review. Much appreciated. Tony
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Tony, you're very welcome.
Best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from robina1978
Nice photo that complements your poem perfectly. It is a true free verse. Also thanks for the foot notes that helped a lot in understanding. The layout is also great. You taught me quite a bit here.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Nice photo that complements your poem perfectly. It is a true free verse. Also thanks for the foot notes that helped a lot in understanding. The layout is also great. You taught me quite a bit here.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Very many thanks for dropping by to review. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from Aussie
Excellent writing that sung of the sea. Actually, the viscous part reminded me not of the sea so much but the River Thames in England where many bodies washed up. Well done poet XXK.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Excellent writing that sung of the sea. Actually, the viscous part reminded me not of the sea so much but the River Thames in England where many bodies washed up. Well done poet XXK.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Very many thanks, Kay, for dropping by to review, and for your generous award of six stars. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from rama devi
What a treat to read aloud and to visualize as well. Superb free verse style with creative formatting.
Silver still the sea tonight,
a luminescent, viscous thing
of listless lull,
and solipsistic slop
and murmuring,
that softly sucks the life from hidden holes
I read the above lines four times...love the s and L medleys punctuation by P and T too plus alliteration of H. Verbal candy. yum.
Love the personification in the title too.
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on slack-jawed tides, (no comma)
and drag them out again,
Love the near rhyme and descriptive words here(note optional comma):
where gormless hagfish swirl and swim
beneath the dark viridian
of clinging kelp and bottle-blue Physalia(,)
whose lethal droop of tentacles
lethal droop of tentacles: wow--amazing phrasing.
Reading the above four lines aloud is simply AWESOME!
Six stars for intense originality and musicality that brings a scene to life.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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What a treat to read aloud and to visualize as well. Superb free verse style with creative formatting.
Silver still the sea tonight,
a luminescent, viscous thing
of listless lull,
and solipsistic slop
and murmuring,
that softly sucks the life from hidden holes
I read the above lines four times...love the s and L medleys punctuation by P and T too plus alliteration of H. Verbal candy. yum.
Love the personification in the title too.
*
on slack-jawed tides, (no comma)
and drag them out again,
Love the near rhyme and descriptive words here(note optional comma):
where gormless hagfish swirl and swim
beneath the dark viridian
of clinging kelp and bottle-blue Physalia(,)
whose lethal droop of tentacles
lethal droop of tentacles: wow--amazing phrasing.
Reading the above four lines aloud is simply AWESOME!
Six stars for intense originality and musicality that brings a scene to life.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 23-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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As always, I appreciate your detailed comments, RD, and am delighted when I receive six stars from you, as I know that you don't give them away lightly! I've fixed the couple of commas, both changes improving the flow. Thanks for that!
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:-)))))
Comment from poetsteve15
very will done. it is put together very nicely. The art work is really outstanding. I can not done anything wrong with this. keep up the good writing. GB
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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very will done. it is put together very nicely. The art work is really outstanding. I can not done anything wrong with this. keep up the good writing. GB
Comment Written 23-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Very many thanks, Steve, for dropping by to review. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from Thal1959
Very well done, Tony. Your vocabulary far exceeds mine, which means I sometimes get lost trying to cope with so many new terms. Even the expression "slack-jawed tide" is new to me. Love the pic and the presentation of the words.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Very well done, Tony. Your vocabulary far exceeds mine, which means I sometimes get lost trying to cope with so many new terms. Even the expression "slack-jawed tide" is new to me. Love the pic and the presentation of the words.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017
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Thanks, Thai. There is an expression 'slack tide' to describe that slackness in the water when the tide turns. I just added 'jawed' to it, as a personification. I appreciate your dropping by to review. Best wishes, Tony
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A. O. K. Tony.
