Boiler Room
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Section 4 - Part 2: Legal Beagle"Cody's worst nightmare from Hell becomes reality!
9 total reviews
Comment from emptypage
I like the judge. But that joke! LOL.
It's a longer chapter, and that made me happy. The writing is good.
I think you'd be better off without the aside to the audience: (Shame on you! Where was your mind at?). Breaking the fourth wall is great in theater, but not so much in literature.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
  |
I like the judge. But that joke! LOL.
It's a longer chapter, and that made me happy. The writing is good.
I think you'd be better off without the aside to the audience: (Shame on you! Where was your mind at?). Breaking the fourth wall is great in theater, but not so much in literature.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.
Comment from country ranch writer
Having to recant to the judge his rough beginning out in the real world was difficult and Cody hated having to recant the whole upbringing but it I was for the common good so he could move forward with his life.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
|
Having to recant to the judge his rough beginning out in the real world was difficult and Cody hated having to recant the whole upbringing but it I was for the common good so he could move forward with his life.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story.
Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
-
Smiles
Comment from MizKat
Hi again,
I must say that what you've written was very nice to read. That is except for the
the seventh part down and first line which says: They erected themselves and traipsed behind her into the voluminous chambers. (The word "traipsed' doesn't
sound right at all so you should change it.
Kat
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
|
Hi again,
I must say that what you've written was very nice to read. That is except for the
the seventh part down and first line which says: They erected themselves and traipsed behind her into the voluminous chambers. (The word "traipsed' doesn't
sound right at all so you should change it.
Kat
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story.
Appreciate your comments, support, and reviews.
-
I do like reading them. They are always
very interesting. You're a great writer.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Again written so personally and the interchange between the players is very well done and the descriptions make us feel like we are right there. I am glad to hear about the soup, I was wondering what Cody meant by it
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
|
Again written so personally and the interchange between the players is very well done and the descriptions make us feel like we are right there. I am glad to hear about the soup, I was wondering what Cody meant by it
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story.
Always appreciate your comments, support, and reviews.
Comment from Possummagic
Hahaha was that an original joke because I just about burst my side too! Great story and I'm really enjoying it. Looking forward to the next instalment. Good night and good luck!
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
|
Hahaha was that an original joke because I just about burst my side too! Great story and I'm really enjoying it. Looking forward to the next instalment. Good night and good luck!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.
-
Thanks.
Comment from Rasmine
Hello,
I found some typos:
Once Sheriff Daniels fulfilled the request, the Judge quizzed him by posing (I was confused on what you meant by this word.), "How goes the war on crime in our fair town today, Brock?" Cody perched quiet (quietly) on his chair listening to them conversate.
OK, cant wait for the next
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
|
Hello,
I found some typos:
Once Sheriff Daniels fulfilled the request, the Judge quizzed him by posing (I was confused on what you meant by this word.), "How goes the war on crime in our fair town today, Brock?" Cody perched quiet (quietly) on his chair listening to them conversate.
OK, cant wait for the next
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story.
Appreciate your comments, support, and reviews.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Brett. That first paragraph certainly describes Debbie Ritterholff but, for me I found the language a bit pompous and a little off putting for some reason.
Maybe it's just her character because as you are moving through the next few paragraphs, I get that same sort of ugh! in my belly whenever she opens her mouth.
he "enjoined" say what? Goodness gracious, what's with this chapter?
Okay, I didn't like quite a few words you used in this chapter, "orated" stuff like that. It did not in my opinion add to the story. It in fact in my opinion made it unpleasant to read and I like your Cody series!
The best thing about this chapter is in that last paragraph when the judge wants Cody to tell him about the hot water and making tomato soup. I had wondered about that when I'd read it.
Well my friend, you did ask for the truth. xoxo deborah
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
|
Hi Brett. That first paragraph certainly describes Debbie Ritterholff but, for me I found the language a bit pompous and a little off putting for some reason.
Maybe it's just her character because as you are moving through the next few paragraphs, I get that same sort of ugh! in my belly whenever she opens her mouth.
he "enjoined" say what? Goodness gracious, what's with this chapter?
Okay, I didn't like quite a few words you used in this chapter, "orated" stuff like that. It did not in my opinion add to the story. It in fact in my opinion made it unpleasant to read and I like your Cody series!
The best thing about this chapter is in that last paragraph when the judge wants Cody to tell him about the hot water and making tomato soup. I had wondered about that when I'd read it.
Well my friend, you did ask for the truth. xoxo deborah
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
-
If Debbie Ritterhoff came across as pompous then I achieved my purpose in how I created her character.
Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from Sankey
This has been a most interesting and may I say, different kind of chapter. I picked up a few rare expressions and not sure if they were Spagarama or not?Cody and Judge Stancil convers[at]e.
manner she que(r)i[r]ed them,
But[,] startl(ed)[ing,] Judge Stancil approved
Where is this word coming from?? to them "conversate." Is that one of your'n?
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
|
This has been a most interesting and may I say, different kind of chapter. I picked up a few rare expressions and not sure if they were Spagarama or not?Cody and Judge Stancil convers[at]e.
manner she que(r)i[r]ed them,
But[,] startl(ed)[ing,] Judge Stancil approved
Where is this word coming from?? to them "conversate." Is that one of your'n?
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
-
Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story.
Appreciate your support, comments, and reviews.
Comment from royowen
Judge Stancil confers with Cody in the presence of Sherrif Brock, who was appointed Cody's adoptive parent. I didn't realise that Cody was a sexually abused child originally. Judge Stancil likes Cody. Good conversational piece, with some well written interaction between characters, well done, Brett, blessings Roy
Typo in a lighthearted manner she (queired) them. Queried?
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
|
Judge Stancil confers with Cody in the presence of Sherrif Brock, who was appointed Cody's adoptive parent. I didn't realise that Cody was a sexually abused child originally. Judge Stancil likes Cody. Good conversational piece, with some well written interaction between characters, well done, Brett, blessings Roy
Typo in a lighthearted manner she (queired) them. Queried?
Comment Written 21-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
-
Thanks for the catch.
Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story.
Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
Much more to come so I invite you to ride along.
-
Well done, Brett.
