Natural Light
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Into The Wild"contemporary poetry
9 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
Here, at last, on this edge of wilderness,
We can come out of the cities and the suburbs and the traffic
And leave behind the schedules and the obligations,
Those regular, familiar, comfortable surroundings,
To challenge ourselves in this great expanse,
Face to face with all of its rugged beauty,
Lost in the fresh air, listening to the sweet stream,
And looking up out of the trees to the hills,
Wondering if we can find a way through those woods,
Along those sharp ridges and over those crags and boulders
Up to the very summit.
WOW! The opening stanza took my breath away because it conveys just how it feels to leave the hectic life and head to the mountains. Also, great phonetics and flow. It could stand on its own as a poem, too, and yet the rest of it deepens and uplifts even further.
Favorite liens:
Standing in the sky, in the wind,
In that tremendous expanse of shape and light,
Nice alliteration of R and C:
In rocks and rivers and the roots of trees,
Clean air and a clarity of light
More favorite lines:
Taking our breath away,
And leading us to the sky.
More favorite lines:
A music in the pale, translucence of our spirit
Lifting us into the skies and beyond
Until there is nothing left but the bright stars
Great dramatic pivot in tone and imagery here:
And there, a thundering cataract echoes across the valleys,
Bringing us closer to the edge of that cliff
*spag:
In mid air, L(l)eaves us standing transfixed
Or use a gerund:
In mid air, leaving us standing transfixed
Love this too:
This strange sound heard in the forest,
This rustle of living leaves, of dead leaves underfoot,
Outstanding parallel--stroke of genius AHA
Here, we discover the wilderness within ourselves,
An altar standing in the cathedral of life itself,
WOW to the closing note, too:
Where those animals crouch and watch,
If only for a moment,
Grasping for something we cannot describe
in the deep, sheltering, wild expanse of skies.
Just WOW!
Wonderful work. Glad I skimmed backwards to ones I'd missed...
Hairs stood on end reading this, dear. Bravo. Wish I had a six.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
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Here, at last, on this edge of wilderness,
We can come out of the cities and the suburbs and the traffic
And leave behind the schedules and the obligations,
Those regular, familiar, comfortable surroundings,
To challenge ourselves in this great expanse,
Face to face with all of its rugged beauty,
Lost in the fresh air, listening to the sweet stream,
And looking up out of the trees to the hills,
Wondering if we can find a way through those woods,
Along those sharp ridges and over those crags and boulders
Up to the very summit.
WOW! The opening stanza took my breath away because it conveys just how it feels to leave the hectic life and head to the mountains. Also, great phonetics and flow. It could stand on its own as a poem, too, and yet the rest of it deepens and uplifts even further.
Favorite liens:
Standing in the sky, in the wind,
In that tremendous expanse of shape and light,
Nice alliteration of R and C:
In rocks and rivers and the roots of trees,
Clean air and a clarity of light
More favorite lines:
Taking our breath away,
And leading us to the sky.
More favorite lines:
A music in the pale, translucence of our spirit
Lifting us into the skies and beyond
Until there is nothing left but the bright stars
Great dramatic pivot in tone and imagery here:
And there, a thundering cataract echoes across the valleys,
Bringing us closer to the edge of that cliff
*spag:
In mid air, L(l)eaves us standing transfixed
Or use a gerund:
In mid air, leaving us standing transfixed
Love this too:
This strange sound heard in the forest,
This rustle of living leaves, of dead leaves underfoot,
Outstanding parallel--stroke of genius AHA
Here, we discover the wilderness within ourselves,
An altar standing in the cathedral of life itself,
WOW to the closing note, too:
Where those animals crouch and watch,
If only for a moment,
Grasping for something we cannot describe
in the deep, sheltering, wild expanse of skies.
Just WOW!
Wonderful work. Glad I skimmed backwards to ones I'd missed...
Hairs stood on end reading this, dear. Bravo. Wish I had a six.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 19-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
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Thank you so much for this excellent review and all the wonderful comments supporting this poem. I am glad you enjoyed it. After doing so much minimalist stuff, I kind of reacted to the mechanical feel of that poetry and wanted to open it up, warm it up, go green, and have a more pastoral romantic theme and style. So that's what this poem is about. My wild side. estory
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for creating and sharing this ode to nature. It reinforces my memories of Alaska's great expanse. I especially admired your "Standing in the sky" and "arms of the mountains" images, and I could hear the "thundering cataract". Big cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
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Thank you for creating and sharing this ode to nature. It reinforces my memories of Alaska's great expanse. I especially admired your "Standing in the sky" and "arms of the mountains" images, and I could hear the "thundering cataract". Big cheers- Joan
Comment Written 23-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2017
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Thanks for the excellent rating and your wonderful comments supporting this poem, glad you enjoyed the hike in the mountains estory
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello rspoet ,
when I read you poem with all your vivid descriptions reminded me of my home state of Vermont
what caught my attention was--
Here, at last, we can take a deep breath
Standing in the sky, in the wind,
In that tremendous expanse of shape and light,
Those mountains reflected in those dark, deep lakes,
Sounds so much like Vermont
Gert
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Hello rspoet ,
when I read you poem with all your vivid descriptions reminded me of my home state of Vermont
what caught my attention was--
Here, at last, we can take a deep breath
Standing in the sky, in the wind,
In that tremendous expanse of shape and light,
Those mountains reflected in those dark, deep lakes,
Sounds so much like Vermont
Gert
Comment Written 18-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Thanks again for this exceptional review Wow estory
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You are welcome estory
I have a book a book that I wrote about the Seasons of Vermont. I wonder if I should post it on Fanstrory
Gert
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post it! estory
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Will do soon as I can
smiles
Gert
Comment from jaded831
Wow your poem blew me away. I felt a calmness, like doing yoga. It put me in touch not only with myself, but this big beautiful world. It made me feel the only limitations we have are the ones we put on ourselves. My favorite line is, here we discover the wilderness within ourselves.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Wow your poem blew me away. I felt a calmness, like doing yoga. It put me in touch not only with myself, but this big beautiful world. It made me feel the only limitations we have are the ones we put on ourselves. My favorite line is, here we discover the wilderness within ourselves.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Thanks again for this exceptional review and all your support for this pastoral romantic poem estory
Comment from ElegantButler
This is poetry beyond poetry. It is that kind of writing where one can feel the wind blowing tall grass against their bare ankles and smell the scent of pine. I can feel the edges of the boulders and even feel the urge to go and find one smooth enough to sit on while enjoying the natural world around me.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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This is poetry beyond poetry. It is that kind of writing where one can feel the wind blowing tall grass against their bare ankles and smell the scent of pine. I can feel the edges of the boulders and even feel the urge to go and find one smooth enough to sit on while enjoying the natural world around me.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Thanks so much for your excellent review and all your wonderful comments supporting this poem estory
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Wow estory! This is an exceptional poem. This poem is so full of life and extreme expression of appreciation of all the marvelous creations of God. It is a side of you I did not know also. Wow, climbing mountains and hiking to waterfalls - so adventurous and good to know. Even while I was reading the poem, I could picture myself admiring the visions you described. I could clearly see the areas on those mountains, the awesomeness of God's Almighty power. Thank you for sharing this with us this morning. It is refreshing.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Wow estory! This is an exceptional poem. This poem is so full of life and extreme expression of appreciation of all the marvelous creations of God. It is a side of you I did not know also. Wow, climbing mountains and hiking to waterfalls - so adventurous and good to know. Even while I was reading the poem, I could picture myself admiring the visions you described. I could clearly see the areas on those mountains, the awesomeness of God's Almighty power. Thank you for sharing this with us this morning. It is refreshing.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Thanks again for this exceptional review and all your comments supporting this poem estory
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hello Estory. This is the one that got to me. I've often imagined when I'm out and about, how would it actually be to be a wolf or a large cat that didn't have to reign themselves into human society. Here of course the next waterfall is literally only a hike away. The town and many of the towns of the South Island are not large. People know each other, but there are still restraints and constraints to fit in. I love the visual of your lines and I can smell the clean sweet air you speak of. An amazing and then some written piece of poetry. Well done. xoxo deborah
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Hello Estory. This is the one that got to me. I've often imagined when I'm out and about, how would it actually be to be a wolf or a large cat that didn't have to reign themselves into human society. Here of course the next waterfall is literally only a hike away. The town and many of the towns of the South Island are not large. People know each other, but there are still restraints and constraints to fit in. I love the visual of your lines and I can smell the clean sweet air you speak of. An amazing and then some written piece of poetry. Well done. xoxo deborah
Comment Written 17-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Thanks for the exceptional review again and all your comments supporting the poem glad you enjoyed it so much and appreciate the outdoors estory
Comment from Possummagic
Quite a lovely description of natures beauty and all of the facets that she possesses. Beautifully written and I agree, a change from a mechanical description of your subjects. Good luck.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Quite a lovely description of natures beauty and all of the facets that she possesses. Beautifully written and I agree, a change from a mechanical description of your subjects. Good luck.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Thanks for the excellent review and all your comments supporting this poem estory
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This ode speaks naturally lovers will make a right and clear way per God's help thru woods into the wild leaving the city leaving in hustle bustle and they will touch the sky; I liked.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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This ode speaks naturally lovers will make a right and clear way per God's help thru woods into the wild leaving the city leaving in hustle bustle and they will touch the sky; I liked.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2017
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Thanks so much for your excellent review and all your comments supporting this poem estory
