Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written 0ctogram. The sentiment and subject is enjoyable, your iambic meter needs a lot of tweaking. I am posting from my tablet, that makes it difficult to help you with that. I will pm you with what I have about meter.

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

Hi Sandra; I did get some help with the meter from other poets, but I still feel at a loss - I think its best to stay away from poetic forms that require meter.

Thank you for reading,

~patty~

Comment from nbonner

Excellent

I really enjoyed the read. I love the sunny days when I walk my puppy. He's a chiweenie so he hates the rain, we barely go for walks when the water falls. I know this wasn't the help you were looking for..sorry

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

**please excuse the cut and paste reply; due to my absence for a few days, I had a ton of reviews - trust me, I read each and every one**

thank you so much for your time to read and review,

~patty~

Comment from Mitchell Brontė

Excellent

Hey Patty, you really cheer me up with your doggy writing, the love for your pets always shines through with your words and this Octogram was no different.
Mitchell

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

**please excuse the cut and paste reply; due to my absence for a few days, I had a ton of reviews - trust me, I read each and every one**

thank you so much for your time to read and review,

~patty~

Comment from Curly Girly

Excellent

I love your image choice--so cheerful and cute!
I'll be honest and say: I never checked your syllable count, I trust you to get it right.
Hot pavement makes my dogs walk fast, / funny!
Do 'doggy business' at last. / hope you pick it up!!! So many don't. I clean up after my dogs.

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

**please excuse the cut and paste reply; due to my absence for a few days, I had a ton of reviews - trust me, I read each and every one**

thank you so much for your time to read and review,

~patty~

I do pick up the doggy messes, I detest the folks who don't

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Does it have to be iambic meter? I like how the poem covers the joys and discomforts of a walk even their "business." I won't try the whole poem but you could change "Over" with "Upon" and then that line would be iambic throughout.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

**please excuse the cut and paste reply; due to my absence for a few days, I had a ton of reviews - trust me, I read each and every one**

thank you so much for your time to read and review,

~patty~
(the poetic form requires iambic meter - but I failed miserably - think I will avoid meter requirements.)Hi

Comment from emptypage

Excellent

I can't even begin to help. Where do you get the courage to try?? LOL. I couldn't remember all those rules if you paid me, and it would take way too many re-reads and re-checks to get it right.

I did like your story of the pups, though.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

Hi Marla;

I have no idea why I even tried. A few poets stepped up to help. I read what I changed and still can't make heads of tails of it,

Oh well - I tried,

~patty~

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is just too cute what you have penned in the Octogram format. You used such an adorable picture and very good descriptive wording. It made me smile the whole time I was reading it! Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

**please excuse the cut and paste reply; due to my absence for a few days, I had a ton of reviews - trust me, I read each and every one**

thank you so much for your time to read and review,

~patty~

Comment from Thomas Bowling

Excellent

Whoever said they were living a dog's life or they were in the dog house. Hadn't read your poem. It turns out that a dog's life isn't so bad after all.

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

**please excuse the cut and paste reply; due to my absence for a few days, I had a ton of reviews - trust me, I read each and every one**

thank you so much for your time to read and review,

~patty~

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Good

LIFE is SURE sweet (is trochaic)
and LIFE'S sure SWEET (iambic)

STEAMing, DEWy GREENery STALKS;
and STEAMing, DEWy GREEN'ry STALKS (iambic)

do DOGgy BUSiness at LAST
do DOGgy BUS'ness AT the LAST (iambic)

over PAStels of CHILdren's CHALKS,
the PAStels LINES of CHILdren's CHALKS (iambic)


HEAD for HOME sweet,
we SEE a TREAT (iambic)

HOME, where COol WAter SITS, and WAITS,
at HOME the COol WAter WAITS (iambic)

BREAKfast KIBble is ON their PLATES.
and BREAKfast KIBble's ON the PLATES (iambic)

RUMbly TUM^mies just LONG to eat
their RUMbly TUMmies LONG to EAT (iambic)

HEADing HOME, we aVOID the STREET,
then HEADing HOME aVOID the STREET (iambic)

suggestions-read it aloud
keep trying--it took me several years

such a cute poem, my friend~Debbie





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 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 17-Aug-2017

Hi Debbie; THANK YOU so much for coming to the rescue with help and advice on iambic meter. I'm going to cut and past your notes to my poetry page for reference.

I greatly appreciate your help, along with your time to read, review, and critique,

~patty~

reply by dejohnsrld (Debbie) on 20-Aug-2017

Your very welcome. I only finally got it after many fine poets helped me. Keep at it, my friend. Sometimes, it helps to take a line from any poem, read it and determine which syllables are srtessed--it takes less time than writing iambic, but is practice on meter all the same. My main problem was I would read what I wrote as iambic--forcing the meter rather than saying it naturally. Just determining what syllables are stressed is good too~Debbie

Comment from flylikeaneagle

Excellent

Patty: congrats on your first place! I've been writing another NaNo and helping ladies have fun. Iambic is da DUM or left RIGHT walk it out if you need to. I had a hard time with the beat so I was told to listen to RG Star. Brooke loved his voice!

Look at songbooks and see where the accents are. I think this poem is adorable and photo is cute. Home is where these dogs become family. Yes, I have three dogs and five cats. They are therapy animals for my daughters and now mine. Do you dress up your dogs??? Wonderful poem. flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 16-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 23-Aug-2017

**please excuse the cut and paste reply; due to my absence for a few days, I had a ton of reviews - trust me, I read each and every one**

thank you so much for your time to read and review,

~patty~