Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

this is a beautiful piece of poetry dear patty! you have succeeded in displaying versatile emotions concerning love. bravo my friend!
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessigns and a big squeeze!
rebekka x

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017

Hi Rebekka; thank you so much for this wonderful review. I enjoyed composing this poem and I welcome your good luck wishes,

~patty~

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very well written Whitney poem you have penned for the Love Poem Poetry Contest. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with the picture. Best wishes in the contest. Teri

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017

Hi Teri; thank you so much for the lovely review,

~patty~

Comment from Curly Girly

Excellent

Your poem was an enjoyable one to read:

Big blue eyes / kind
Strong loving hands / strong and caring
Gentle touch / kindness
Brings me alive / awakens
Makes my name / personal
sound like sunrise / joy
Rumpled sheets tell the night's tale / good depiction

Best wishes in the contest. I think it is a strong contender.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017

Hi Nicole; thank you so much for your well thought out and concise review. I'm glad you enjoyed this one - I had a good time writing it,

~patty~

Comment from Lena Borghi

Excellent

This is lovely, Patty, a good entry for the love poem contest. Your first six lines, read aloud, have a delightful, upbeat sense of urgency, like a build-up, which goes well with the theme. I love "makes my name sound like sunrise."

The last line falls a little flat for me, like it doesn't follow naturally. I like the "rumpled sheets" and the concept expressed in the line, but there's something that throws me off. Not sure what. Read it out loud. Maybe think about: "rumpled sheets, the night's tale hide" or "rumpled sheets, the night's ride spy."

Good luck in the contest!

Best,
Lena

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017

Hi Lena; thank you so much for the thoughtful and concise review. I have gone back and looked at the last line - and re-read the reviews. I've had a few people tell me that they thought the line really pulled it all together and finished the imagery. So, I'm going to leave it be - but I do appreciate your suggestion. Its always good to have another opinion,

~patty~

reply by Lena Borghi on 14-Aug-2017

I think so, that's why I sometimes offer it. Best of luck!

Warmly,
Lena

Comment from royowen

Excellent

An excellent Whitney poetic work as an entry in this love poetry contest patty. The "love" generated work is sweetly brief in lyric, but hugely expressive in content, well done, good luck in the contest, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017

Hi Roy;
thank you, as always, for the lovely review of my work. I'm glad you enjoyed this love poem. I had a great time writing it,

~patty~

reply by royowen on 14-Aug-2017

Well dine Patty

Comment from kahpot

Excellent

An excellent read and poem with the words and artwork leaving us with all sorts of images of what could have happened very well done and good luck****kahpot

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017

thank you so much for the lovely review of this bit of naughtiness.

~patty~

Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)

Excellent

I love this style of poem! This is brilliant Patty and I liked it very much, very slightly naughty but in a fun and classy way. I liked the use of syllables in this poem too.A nice change from Haiku! Love you lots, kindest regards, Meia xx

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017

Hi Meia; thank you so much for the wonderful review. This was a fun poem to write and a great poetic form to work with,

~patty~

Comment from pipersfancy

Excellent

Ooh! La! La! So delightfully suggestive, and tastefully presented!

I've not heard of the "Whitney" before, so thank you for the description provided.

Best of luck in the contest!
pf

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017

Hey pf;
thank you for the lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed this little poem,

~patty~

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Working the overnight shift is never an easy thing to do.

Well written poem depicts that you make the best of this tough situation though.

Should make an interesting entry into this contest, especially since a lot of people can relate to your situation.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017

um, are you sure this review matches my poem? There is no mention of the 'overnight shift,' or making the best of the situation. This is a love poem about a lover's work,

~patty~

Comment from Possummagic

Excellent

This is an excellent example of Whitney poetry and I enjoyed reading it. Your imagery is both appropriate and interesting. I enjoyed reading your work. Good luck.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2017

thank you so much for the wonderful review,

~patty~

reply by Possummagic on 14-Aug-2017

Youaremostwelome