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Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Depths"contemporary poetry
9 total reviews
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
Hi
I like the dour picture this poem paints, it is kind of fresh. You stitched in plenty of strong images, and that made for food for thought. The tone of the voice is solemn and the flow is smooth, so I think the form makes for a good read......
Mitchell
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Hi
I like the dour picture this poem paints, it is kind of fresh. You stitched in plenty of strong images, and that made for food for thought. The tone of the voice is solemn and the flow is smooth, so I think the form makes for a good read......
Mitchell
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Thank you for this excellent review and for your all your support of this poem. It was written through a lot of pain, and underwent plenty of rewrites. estory
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Hello estory, this poem is appropriately titled, "Depth" because it does have depth and a deep, read between the lines message to it. I enjoyed:
Whispered between the trees
Like the leaves
Covering the ground
And the casket buried there.
We stand silently, listening.
What do we hope to hear?
What is it they can tell us
From the cold, quiet earth?
When I read your Arthur notes, I understood more deeply this poem and I am happy that you have faith in the resurrection. I look forward to that day and to be there to welcome my loved ones back. It is the anchor of my faith. Your poem is marvelous!
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Hello estory, this poem is appropriately titled, "Depth" because it does have depth and a deep, read between the lines message to it. I enjoyed:
Whispered between the trees
Like the leaves
Covering the ground
And the casket buried there.
We stand silently, listening.
What do we hope to hear?
What is it they can tell us
From the cold, quiet earth?
When I read your Arthur notes, I understood more deeply this poem and I am happy that you have faith in the resurrection. I look forward to that day and to be there to welcome my loved ones back. It is the anchor of my faith. Your poem is marvelous!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Thank you for your excellent review and for your comments supporting this poem. Death is hard to deal with, even if you believe in the resurrection. It's hard not being able to talk to my mom or see her here anymore. Anyone who has lost someone, like you did, knows what it's like. This poem went through lots of rewrites estory
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Indeed! What can they tell us? I suspect that there isn't much to tell as you must be patient and wait until your own rebirth happens. Vivid images flew through my head as I read this and have an inkling of your style. You are perceptive and you honor yours with this one. Well done mate. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Indeed! What can they tell us? I suspect that there isn't much to tell as you must be patient and wait until your own rebirth happens. Vivid images flew through my head as I read this and have an inkling of your style. You are perceptive and you honor yours with this one. Well done mate. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Thanks for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting this poem. I wanted to keep it obtuse enough for anyone who has suffered loss to be able to approach and find a common place. estory
Comment from Mark Valentine
I like the sound and the message of this. The interlocking of the stanzas gives it a marching-on quality - you can feel the continuity as time progresses. "Fallen leaves of years" is a wonderful phrase. I like how the poem turns, both thematically (you go from speaking about the passage of time in general to the death of a specific loved one - the name carved on the stone) and structurally (the repeated words that interlock the lines stop here as well.
And of course you ask the question at the end that humans have asked since the beginning -yet you find an original way to do it - "What do we hope to hear? /What is it they can tell us / from the cold quiet earth"
Your notes add a great deal of meaning to and already stellar poem. I'm sorry I don't have a six left to justly reward this one.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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I like the sound and the message of this. The interlocking of the stanzas gives it a marching-on quality - you can feel the continuity as time progresses. "Fallen leaves of years" is a wonderful phrase. I like how the poem turns, both thematically (you go from speaking about the passage of time in general to the death of a specific loved one - the name carved on the stone) and structurally (the repeated words that interlock the lines stop here as well.
And of course you ask the question at the end that humans have asked since the beginning -yet you find an original way to do it - "What do we hope to hear? /What is it they can tell us / from the cold quiet earth"
Your notes add a great deal of meaning to and already stellar poem. I'm sorry I don't have a six left to justly reward this one.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Thanks for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting this poem, I think you got exactly what I was trying to achieve. I wanted this to be obtuse enough for anyone who grieves over a loved one to be able to approach it and say, "yea, that's what it's like " estory
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi; I think your poem did a great job of bringing to the forefront my feelings when I stand in a cemetery. I usually visit the graves of family twice a year. I always think I will find some answers, but all I feel is loss,
~patty~
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Hi; I think your poem did a great job of bringing to the forefront my feelings when I stand in a cemetery. I usually visit the graves of family twice a year. I always think I will find some answers, but all I feel is loss,
~patty~
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Thanks for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting this poem estory
Comment from Possummagic
An interesting poem that is obviously heart felt and is meaningful especially to you. I love the way you structure your comments and sentences. Flows fluidly across the tongue.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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An interesting poem that is obviously heart felt and is meaningful especially to you. I love the way you structure your comments and sentences. Flows fluidly across the tongue.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Thanks for the excellent review and for your wonderful comments supporting this poem. Glad I was successful in the form and style in creating something so many people could relate to estory
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Auto-Manic
When they leave, do they really leave? In our mind they live on. So, to the memory, live on. And to the respect of life, live on. We sprout, we bloom, we die. Cycle of life.
AM
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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When they leave, do they really leave? In our mind they live on. So, to the memory, live on. And to the respect of life, live on. We sprout, we bloom, we die. Cycle of life.
AM
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Thanks for the excellent review and for your interesting comments supporting this poem. I am a Christian, so I have hope in the resurrection, but it still doesn't make it easy to live here on this world without someone who was such a big part of your life for so long. I am glad I created a poem obtuse enough for many people to relate to estory
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem. There are many questions we cannot answer now, but it is said that God will reveal all our questions one day and we will know all the answers.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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A very well-written poem. There are many questions we cannot answer now, but it is said that God will reveal all our questions one day and we will know all the answers.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the excellent review and for your encouraging comments supporting the poem. Glad it was so thought and feeling provoking estory
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent free verse, I should think, paints a clear picture with sound images. And leads the mind to another poem--These be three silent things, the falling snow, the hour before dawn, and the mouth of one just dead.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Excellent free verse, I should think, paints a clear picture with sound images. And leads the mind to another poem--These be three silent things, the falling snow, the hour before dawn, and the mouth of one just dead.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2017
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Thanks for the excellent review and for your interesting comments supporting the poem. glad it elicited so much thought and feeling estory
