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Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "What Crosses My Mind"
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53 total reviews 
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
Excellent
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Hiya Michael
This poem made for an enjoyable read. It flowed very nicely. Comprehensible and very professionally written. The emotional reflections are insightful and impressive.
Excellent choice of words.
It is has a perfect tone and the language used created marvellous imagery.
Mitchell

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2017

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Hello, Michael,

I love it. It's so honest and well written. I like the imagery you created with your well chosen words. Nice presentation...love the blue font over the black background. Good job, honey.

Gypsy hugs

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2017

Comment from Oatmeal
Excellent
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michaelcahill,

It's very well written. Created impressions through the descriptions are vivid, forceful and making the reader think about it. Kind of eerie to me. It made my arms and back tingle kind of.

There was no SPAG, no typos, no room for improvement.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2017

Comment from Analie Shepherd
Excellent
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Love it!! It feels like I am experiencing your thoughts as you lie letting your mind wander without any self doubt or purposefulness. Simply thoughts, reaching, reaching ... taking your heart where they will.

There is no way to find fault in a poem like this. Are there grammar error? Probably, but I didn't notice. When you are listening to another's real and honest emotions, how can grammar ever be an issue. Are there times I would have chosen another word or phrase .... absolutely, because I am me and you are you ... and that is the beauty of this poem--it is you!

I love the picture and I love how you have unexpected rhymes interspersed within the piece.

Lovely, lovely, lovely ... Blessings, Analie

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2017

Comment from Mustang Patty
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Michael; this is a profoundly deep poem. I think many people have their own thoughts about what might happen if they were introduced to the person they have such strong feelings for - but I've rarely seen those thoughts so eloquently expressed.

Well worth a six,

~patty~

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2017

Comment from His Grayness
Excellent
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OH! how I do indeed yearn to have the sixth star for this truly uncommon, imaginative, brilliant, and compelling work of absolutely stunning creativity! Even in my dreams, I could not imagine capturing such arcane and curious thoughts! I loved every word and every line and cannot offer any suggestion to improve this grand work! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2017

Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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In the end it is what you think that counts really. You are and should always be in control of your thoughts. Magic occurs when two people think in much the same way, but your thoughts should never be subjugated by what someone else thinks. This of course does not mean that what you think and feel could never change, but when change occurs it must be your will that causes the change, not someone else's.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2017

Comment from apky
Excellent
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Fabulous verse poem, Michael. You have a beautiful way of using words in imagery. There is a broodines to the poem that gives it that touch of mystery. As does the fantastic colour nuances of the blue-black artwork.

Well done.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2017

Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
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a deep, meaningful, poem, Mike - the words flowing smoothly down the page

I particular enjoyed this verse:

our words
a laureate's revelation
thrill like rapids coursing
through my mind
your heart revealed
in casual observation
smiles understood
tears shared in secret
unspoken fingers clasping
as I grasp stars in the night
to fill your sky
hoping it is I
you wish upon

Well penned, my friend - I like the presentation, which I often use myself. works well.

Margaret

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2017

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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Michael,
I enjoyed your free verse poem. You did a great job expressing your thoughts in words. I really like the color scheme, too. The black/blue are a bit mysterious. Your words flow with great imagery. Thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2017