Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "haiku (black bird sings)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
18 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Another haiku masterpiece from the haiku master.
Sad and despondent? Yes, absolutely.
But a lot of the haiku masters of old also wrote sad, poignant and despondent haiku as well.
Lovely presentation which helps to enhance the mournful moodiness.
Excellent alliteration in your first line. You carry the consonance of "b" sounds down to your second line while creating concrete imagery.
Your kigo is obviously late fall or winter as evidenced by the bare oak tree.
Your satori is a brief but insightful summation of the mood of your haiku as a whole.
Brilliant work, darlin'!
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Another haiku masterpiece from the haiku master.
Sad and despondent? Yes, absolutely.
But a lot of the haiku masters of old also wrote sad, poignant and despondent haiku as well.
Lovely presentation which helps to enhance the mournful moodiness.
Excellent alliteration in your first line. You carry the consonance of "b" sounds down to your second line while creating concrete imagery.
Your kigo is obviously late fall or winter as evidenced by the bare oak tree.
Your satori is a brief but insightful summation of the mood of your haiku as a whole.
Brilliant work, darlin'!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie.
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My pleasure! :)
Comment from Ric Myworld
Your poem just touched a soft spot that had already leaked a few drops today from everyone's kind response to most recent post. After a couple weeks of sadly considering all the lonesome and forgotten people in our world. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Your poem just touched a soft spot that had already leaked a few drops today from everyone's kind response to most recent post. After a couple weeks of sadly considering all the lonesome and forgotten people in our world. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words.
Comment from Sis Cat
Because Simon and Garfunkel are on my mind right now, your "sound of loneliness" satori made me think of "Sound of Silence." You paint a picture and a mood with well-chosen words that paint a bleak picture of a lone bird in winter. "Bare tree" are kigo words for this season. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Because Simon and Garfunkel are on my mind right now, your "sound of loneliness" satori made me think of "Sound of Silence." You paint a picture and a mood with well-chosen words that paint a bleak picture of a lone bird in winter. "Bare tree" are kigo words for this season. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie.
Comment from Hitcher
His mate has probably just been killed by one of the thousands of domestic bloody cats and he is singing the Blues : ) They are trying to pass cat control laws over here in NZ... too many cats of which we have two, both have been fixed so cannot breed. which is what they are suggesting, all cats to be neutered and wild ones killed or neutered. Of course cat lovers are up in arms but they(the cats) are devastating the native bird species over here.
Very cool thought provoking poem Gypsy : )
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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His mate has probably just been killed by one of the thousands of domestic bloody cats and he is singing the Blues : ) They are trying to pass cat control laws over here in NZ... too many cats of which we have two, both have been fixed so cannot breed. which is what they are suggesting, all cats to be neutered and wild ones killed or neutered. Of course cat lovers are up in arms but they(the cats) are devastating the native bird species over here.
Very cool thought provoking poem Gypsy : )
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words my friend.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku. A lonely song of a blackbird on an old oak tree tells a lifestory of loneliness for everyone to take notice the way of life we all live in solitary.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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A very well-written haiku. A lonely song of a blackbird on an old oak tree tells a lifestory of loneliness for everyone to take notice the way of life we all live in solitary.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words.
Comment from Mark Valentine
I am certainly no haiku expert, but I've been learning a lot through reading you, Dean, and others. One thing that is becoming clear to me is that haikus convey an idea that is sometimes paradoxical, or at least, that has more to it than meets the eye at first glance.
Here the idea that there is a sound of loneliness - especially in the unrequited love call of a bird, is profound. The image of the "bare" oak tree underscores that sense of loneliness. Love it.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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I am certainly no haiku expert, but I've been learning a lot through reading you, Dean, and others. One thing that is becoming clear to me is that haikus convey an idea that is sometimes paradoxical, or at least, that has more to it than meets the eye at first glance.
Here the idea that there is a sound of loneliness - especially in the unrequited love call of a bird, is profound. The image of the "bare" oak tree underscores that sense of loneliness. Love it.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words my friend.
Comment from Ulla
Hola Gitana. This is another outstanding haiku. I just love the satori line. We don't see many black birds here. A few in the winter. The rest of the year it's far too hot. Un abrazo de tu amiga Ulla:)))
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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Hola Gitana. This is another outstanding haiku. I just love the satori line. We don't see many black birds here. A few in the winter. The rest of the year it's far too hot. Un abrazo de tu amiga Ulla:)))
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie.
Comment from TAB_that's me
Your haiku has excellent imagery, Gypsy, in your two interconnect lines. nice satori that evokes a mood rather than just a visual or sound imagery.
Teresa
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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Your haiku has excellent imagery, Gypsy, in your two interconnect lines. nice satori that evokes a mood rather than just a visual or sound imagery.
Teresa
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words.
