I'm Not a Rock. I'm But an Island.
Do rocks feel pain?49 total reviews
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Andre. There was that one spag already pointed out to you but, other than that this is an entertaining and quality write. It is a good parody of a major classic. By your performance, you can tell the song meant something to you. Well done. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
  |
Hi Andre. There was that one spag already pointed out to you but, other than that this is an entertaining and quality write. It is a good parody of a major classic. By your performance, you can tell the song meant something to you. Well done. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2017
-
Yes, Kiwi, the song meant a lot to me when I rewrote the lyrics when I was eighteen and then parodied myself and the song in my demo video three years ago. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Dean Kuch
"...that Inet let none penetrate."
Hahaha, a new spin and "twist" (along with a few gyrations) on a classic Simon & Garfunkel song.
Your video was priceless, my friend, lol.
It's obvious that the original song held a great deal of meaning for you.
I found your interpretation to be creative and fun.
Best wishes to you in the contest, Andre. Good work!
~Dean :)
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
|
"...that I
Hahaha, a new spin and "twist" (along with a few gyrations) on a classic Simon & Garfunkel song.
Your video was priceless, my friend, lol.
It's obvious that the original song held a great deal of meaning for you.
I found your interpretation to be creative and fun.
Best wishes to you in the contest, Andre. Good work!
~Dean :)
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
-
Oh, thank you, Dean, for your review and corrections. Yes, the song held deep meaning for me back then. I am glad I filmed a demo video in 2014. Thanks again.
-
You are very welcome, Andre. It's always a pleasure. :)
Comment from Hitcher
Nice! One of my favorite old school songs, a monstrous classic! And I must say I don't mind what you have done with the lyrics... but the singing... well, all I can say is you are a braver man than me : ) Definitely entertaining my good man.
I did see a possible nit in your second stanza mate...
that I ( net ) none penetrate.
Good Luck buddy !!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
|
Nice! One of my favorite old school songs, a monstrous classic! And I must say I don't mind what you have done with the lyrics... but the singing... well, all I can say is you are a braver man than me : ) Definitely entertaining my good man.
I did see a possible nit in your second stanza mate...
that I ( net ) none penetrate.
Good Luck buddy !!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
-
Thank you, Hitcher, for your generous review and correction of my parody. Yes, it is easy being brave singing on an empty, abandoned stage, but I have yet mustered the courage to perform this in front of an audience. Thanks for your correction, too.
Comment from DR DIP
hehe I love the gyrations and the special movements. I think you need the background music to help with this video lol
"that I net(let) none penetrate".
I like your re write Andre The words are great you just have to work on the delivery lol
Thanks for sharing
dipster garfunkel
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
|
hehe I love the gyrations and the special movements. I think you need the background music to help with this video lol
"that I net(let) none penetrate".
I like your re write Andre The words are great you just have to work on the delivery lol
Thanks for sharing
dipster garfunkel
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
-
Oh, thank you, Dip, for your review and correction. It is unlikely I will perform this song at an event because I am now writing my own tunes. Thanks again.
Comment from tfawcus
The repeating line is both strong and memorable, which I think is probably quite important in a song lyric. I liked the flow of this and the melancholy mood of it, too.
I'm presuming you meant 'let' here: "that I net (let) none penetrate".
Your opening sets both the scene and the atmosphere perfectly:
"A winter's day
in a deep and dark December,
I am alone . . . again"
but I'm not sure how well 'non-rock' works at the end. I guess that it would depend a bit on the way the music was composed.
All-in-all a fine song lyric and I wish you luck with it in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
|
The repeating line is both strong and memorable, which I think is probably quite important in a song lyric. I liked the flow of this and the melancholy mood of it, too.
I'm presuming you meant 'let' here: "that I net (let) none penetrate".
Your opening sets both the scene and the atmosphere perfectly:
"A winter's day
in a deep and dark December,
I am alone . . . again"
but I'm not sure how well 'non-rock' works at the end. I guess that it would depend a bit on the way the music was composed.
All-in-all a fine song lyric and I wish you luck with it in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
-
Thank you, tfawcus, for your review and correction of my parody. Thanks also for wishing me contest luck.
Comment from kathleenspalding
I had that album :-) Good parody flows well and is entertaining. Excellent for the prompt. There is one line that I don't understand-
that I (net - let?) none penetrate?
That's it. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
|
I had that album :-) Good parody flows well and is entertaining. Excellent for the prompt. There is one line that I don't understand-
that I (net - let?) none penetrate?
That's it. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
-
Thank you, Kathleen, for your review and correction of my parody. Thanks also for wishing me contest luck.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem/lyrics. You claim not to be a rock, but an island isolated surrounded by an ocean of activity. Looking from within to the world within pain and always crying.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
|
A very well-written poem/lyrics. You claim not to be a rock, but an island isolated surrounded by an ocean of activity. Looking from within to the world within pain and always crying.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
-
Thank you, Sandra, for your generous review of my old rewrite. I appreciate it.
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
This was wonderfully done, Andre. Hmm. Maybe I'm a rocky island, lol. I don't mean to joke, it is very sad, I fell the same way at times. I would of loved to see the video you did. I love Simon and Garfunkel. Hang in there my friend, love will light its path in due time. I sure hope, cause I'm running out of candles, lol. -Kerry
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
|
This was wonderfully done, Andre. Hmm. Maybe I'm a rocky island, lol. I don't mean to joke, it is very sad, I fell the same way at times. I would of loved to see the video you did. I love Simon and Garfunkel. Hang in there my friend, love will light its path in due time. I sure hope, cause I'm running out of candles, lol. -Kerry
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
-
Oh, thank you, Kerry, for your generous review which made me smile in these dark times. Although I rewrote these lyrics years ago, they still affect me because I personalized them. In my video, I chose to laugh at my pain. Thanks again.
-
Your very welcome:)
Comment from nomi338
Your talk of islands made me think of two in particular. Hawaii is an island where before its discovery, the people were happy and protected. Now in modern times everyone wants to go there. Alcatraz is an island where the people there were not allowed to leave and no sane person wanted to go there. Now in modern times the people who go there do so out of curiosity. Making the issue personal, I asked myself, which island is the most like me. Since I have been discovered do people want to visit me, or like Alcatraz, am I only visited by the curious? Clearly you put something on my mind that I am sure you never intended. Still ...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
|
Your talk of islands made me think of two in particular. Hawaii is an island where before its discovery, the people were happy and protected. Now in modern times everyone wants to go there. Alcatraz is an island where the people there were not allowed to leave and no sane person wanted to go there. Now in modern times the people who go there do so out of curiosity. Making the issue personal, I asked myself, which island is the most like me. Since I have been discovered do people want to visit me, or like Alcatraz, am I only visited by the curious? Clearly you put something on my mind that I am sure you never intended. Still ...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2017
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2017
-
Nomi338, it is good I put something on your mind which I did not intend. Poems and lyrics are open to interpretation and you did what you should have done--you personalized them to your situation. by asking yourself which island is most like you. Thank you for giving my lyrics rewrite its first review.
-
If what we write does not elicit a response from those who read us, maybe we are not writing what we should be writing.
