Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "haibun (dead flowers)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
26 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Wow, this describes a feeling that I assume most all of us have felt at some point in time, of course, some more than others. But it sure hit home with me, as does dead flowers containing the seeds of tomorrow. A purpose for everything, the good, bad, and evil. I'm sure you are wondering where the evil comes in, but in truth, it finds it's way into everything, and everyone who is desperate for whatever can offer help from the desperation of depression. Thanks for sharing another of your outstanding poems. :-)
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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Wow, this describes a feeling that I assume most all of us have felt at some point in time, of course, some more than others. But it sure hit home with me, as does dead flowers containing the seeds of tomorrow. A purpose for everything, the good, bad, and evil. I'm sure you are wondering where the evil comes in, but in truth, it finds it's way into everything, and everyone who is desperate for whatever can offer help from the desperation of depression. Thanks for sharing another of your outstanding poems. :-)
Comment Written 26-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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thank you very much, Rick, and thank you for the six stars.
Gypsy
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Gypsy;
-this plaguing, ongoing and disturbing occurrence can cause anybody to grow weak and, in turn, may cause health problems that significantly change a person's behavior, both physically and mentally.
-This terrible torment should not be wished on anyone and yet you describe, demonstratively, and definitively express, so well, the enjambment in your prose part of your Haibun which also flows very smoothly throughout without a syntactical break in the understanding and reading of your poem.
-The haiku part of your Haibun particularly sums up the conceptual theme of your prose.
-In this haiku, your two grammatically connected lines both describe and express, visually and emotionally, the imagery that is very well explained.
-I believe that the word "seeds" may be your kigo in this haiku is it expresses to me spring or the nature of things that are growing.
-The satori in your haiku also gives that aha moment and a spontaneity that is so relevant to the conceptual theme of your total Haibun and haiku.
-Thank you for sharing this, Gypsy, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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Cheers, Gypsy;
-this plaguing, ongoing and disturbing occurrence can cause anybody to grow weak and, in turn, may cause health problems that significantly change a person's behavior, both physically and mentally.
-This terrible torment should not be wished on anyone and yet you describe, demonstratively, and definitively express, so well, the enjambment in your prose part of your Haibun which also flows very smoothly throughout without a syntactical break in the understanding and reading of your poem.
-The haiku part of your Haibun particularly sums up the conceptual theme of your prose.
-In this haiku, your two grammatically connected lines both describe and express, visually and emotionally, the imagery that is very well explained.
-I believe that the word "seeds" may be your kigo in this haiku is it expresses to me spring or the nature of things that are growing.
-The satori in your haiku also gives that aha moment and a spontaneity that is so relevant to the conceptual theme of your total Haibun and haiku.
-Thank you for sharing this, Gypsy, and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 26-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Alex, I appreciate the review and the six stars, you are very kind.
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You are very welcome, Gypsy, you deserve this one for sure.
Alex
Comment from RebelRose
A great description of how depression feels. How hopeless life seems sometimes. Your poem says so much in so few words. Very well done. Very thought provoking.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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A great description of how depression feels. How hopeless life seems sometimes. Your poem says so much in so few words. Very well done. Very thought provoking.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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Thank you very much.
Gypsy
Comment from Dean Kuch
Geesh, darlin'...
Sounds like you got bitten by the depression bug badly.
Well, cheer up, and have hope. It won't be long before you see this well written haibun on the "Well Received" list on FanStory's front page.
That outta count for somethin'...
Hiabun Hugs!
~Dean
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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Geesh, darlin'...
Sounds like you got bitten by the depression bug badly.
Well, cheer up, and have hope. It won't be long before you see this well written haibun on the "Well Received" list on FanStory's front page.
That outta count for somethin'...
Hiabun Hugs!
~Dean
Comment Written 26-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Dean, take care sweetie pie and thank you for the six stars.
Gypsy hugs
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Anytime, darlin'... :)
Comment from smbau
The poem talks about periods of depression with hope as a glimpse of salvation. I liked the lines "The dead flower,
Contains the seeds of tomorrow...", which emits hope and live soon to sprout from the seeds. The picture, background and font compliment the poem as it brings out the void in the emptiness.
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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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The poem talks about periods of depression with hope as a glimpse of salvation. I liked the lines "The dead flower,
Contains the seeds of tomorrow...", which emits hope and live soon to sprout from the seeds. The picture, background and font compliment the poem as it brings out the void in the emptiness.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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thank you
Comment from Heather Knight
Is this true, Marival? If so, I'm really sorry. But as you say, it gets better.
I hope the seeds of tomorrow are seeds of something beautiful and full of light.
Thanks for sharing. Take care.
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reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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Is this true, Marival? If so, I'm really sorry. But as you say, it gets better.
I hope the seeds of tomorrow are seeds of something beautiful and full of light.
Thanks for sharing. Take care.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
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yes, it's true. thank you, my friend
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Get better soon. Big hug.
