Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "his knees ache (senryu)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
76 total reviews
Comment from Hitcher
This one made me smile mate as would the sight of that finish line to you I believe : ) My youngest daughter has just ran hear second half marathon of the year, she's 13, unfortunately my knees are shot- a life of football (soccer) so my days of running are over unfortunately. You are lucky mate! I hate that I can't run, I spend a lot of time on the cross-trainer at the gym, I do love keeping fit : ) Well done!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
  |
This one made me smile mate as would the sight of that finish line to you I believe : ) My youngest daughter has just ran hear second half marathon of the year, she's 13, unfortunately my knees are shot- a life of football (soccer) so my days of running are over unfortunately. You are lucky mate! I hate that I can't run, I spend a lot of time on the cross-trainer at the gym, I do love keeping fit : ) Well done!
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
-
Yes, Hitcher, I hate being unable to run. Two days ago my doctor told me that the reason why my feet were in so much pain was that they suffered from neuroma--ball of foot pain--from me walking five miles a day on worn out shoes. I bought new shoes and started doing calve stretches and foot massages. Now I am picking up speed again. Thank you for your review.
-
Hoka do an awesome training/walking/hiking shoe mate, comfort... unbelievable! A little on the pricey side but well worth the money : ) Hitch
Comment from Dawn Munro
Inspired (though tired...)
Who is that fella with the handsome smile?
Wish I could walk with him a while,
perhaps make more than just one mile
a goal - our stroll, religion, exercising
the demons
of chronic pain...
Congratulations, Andre - well done!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
|
Inspired (though tired...)
Who is that fella with the handsome smile?
Wish I could walk with him a while,
perhaps make more than just one mile
a goal - our stroll, religion, exercising
the demons
of chronic pain...
Congratulations, Andre - well done!
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
-
Thank you, Dawn, for your rhymed review and congratulations. I walked in the back of the pack with an elderly Sikh who turned back at the one mile mark while I walked a further two miles. After one hour, two minutes, and fifty-seven seconds, I hobbled across the finish line.
-
Impressive! :)
Comment from Ulla
Hi Andre, your agony and joy of seeing the finishing line comes through loud and clear. I love your senryu. They are not easy to write at all as we do know. Well done. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
|
Hi Andre, your agony and joy of seeing the finishing line comes through loud and clear. I love your senryu. They are not easy to write at all as we do know. Well done. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
-
Oh, thank you, Ulla, for your generous review. I crafted a poem the reader can see and feel without an illustration.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Sometimes it is the finish that makes the whole race worth it and that involves every aspect of life. Nicely done, I envy yu. I used to run and even limping you finished and did not give up.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
|
Sometimes it is the finish that makes the whole race worth it and that involves every aspect of life. Nicely done, I envy yu. I used to run and even limping you finished and did not give up.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
-
Yes, Barb, unbeknownst to me at the time, I suffered from a neuroma--ball of foot pain caused by walking five miles a day in worn out shoes, but I insisted on entering and finishing the race even though I came near last. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Irish Rain
What a wonderful thing it would be to say 'our knees ache' from praying. 'Finish line in sight'...great analogy to the race of life. Loved this, blessings...
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
|
What a wonderful thing it would be to say 'our knees ache' from praying. 'Finish line in sight'...great analogy to the race of life. Loved this, blessings...
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
-
Yes, Irish Rain, many poets in this Haiku Challenge wrote about people remaining still to pray on their knees. I wrote about praying with aching knees while limping toward the finish line. This is an analogy to the race of life. Thank you for your review and blessings, too.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Andre,
I love the picture and the senryu. You look so happy :) 5 miles is a long way, my friend. Your senryu is very well written, I am proud of you. Good syllable count, good connection and flow and an observation satori. Well done. Congratulations on your walk.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
|
Hello, Andre,
I love the picture and the senryu. You look so happy :) 5 miles is a long way, my friend. Your senryu is very well written, I am proud of you. Good syllable count, good connection and flow and an observation satori. Well done. Congratulations on your walk.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
-
Oh, thank you, Gypsy, for your detailed review. The walk was more a limp, but I finished the race near last in one hour, two minutes, and fifty-seven seconds.
Comment from pipersfancy
So, what you're saying is that "5K RUN" is a bit of a misnomer? It's more of a 5K gimp and limp across the finish line?? Ah yes--I remember now-- I actually did run these, years ago! I completed the Terry Fox Run multiple times... now, I go out and cheer on the runners and hand out cups of water!
What a great smile you have!
Cheers!
pf
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
|
So, what you're saying is that "5K RUN" is a bit of a misnomer? It's more of a 5K gimp and limp across the finish line?? Ah yes--I remember now-- I actually did run these, years ago! I completed the Terry Fox Run multiple times... now, I go out and cheer on the runners and hand out cups of water!
What a great smile you have!
Cheers!
pf
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
-
Yes, PF, it was more a 5K gimp. I held no expectation of outracing anyone. I finished the race near last in one hour, two minutes, and fifty-seven seconds. Thank you for your review of my poem and compliments on my : )
Comment from Jay Squires
I am so proud of you, Andre. That's no small achievement. I've always aspired to a 5K--and I don't just mean running one ... I'd be so proud of myself to walk a 5K, but that's not in the cards now, at my age.
So instead I bought a Fitbit, and for the last ten days (but one) I've performed 10,000 steps a day. One day I pushed for and achieved 11,500 and suffered leg cramps all night.
Oh ... the poem. Sorry. First I love the way you distanced yourself from it by using the 3rd person. And the way you focused on the stable metaphor of the challenge's heroism. The knees. As the knees go, so goes success. To pray as you limp, you are being proactive. You are doing as much as a human can do to keep one leg in front of the other, but realizing there is the final reserve, you ask God's assistance. If you can just reach your goal. There is a finish line for ALL goals.
Dang, Andre, I hope all readers see in this little three-liner, the extensions of meaning I feel at its core.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
 |
I am so proud of you, Andre. That's no small achievement. I've always aspired to a 5K--and I don't just mean running one ... I'd be so proud of myself to walk a 5K, but that's not in the cards now, at my age.
So instead I bought a Fitbit, and for the last ten days (but one) I've performed 10,000 steps a day. One day I pushed for and achieved 11,500 and suffered leg cramps all night.
Oh ... the poem. Sorry. First I love the way you distanced yourself from it by using the 3rd person. And the way you focused on the stable metaphor of the challenge's heroism. The knees. As the knees go, so goes success. To pray as you limp, you are being proactive. You are doing as much as a human can do to keep one leg in front of the other, but realizing there is the final reserve, you ask God's assistance. If you can just reach your goal. There is a finish line for ALL goals.
Dang, Andre, I hope all readers see in this little three-liner, the extensions of meaning I feel at its core.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
-
Jay, an African proverb states, "When you pray, move your feet." Most of the poets in the Haiku Club Challenge on the prayer theme wrote Haiku about people being still as they kneeled and prayed. My poem is a poem of movement toward a goal no matter how painful and difficult, and about relying on God not to do the walking for me, but to give me the strength and perseverance to finish the race.
I, too, wear a 10,000 steps a day FitBit. Since I walk nearly five miles a day, I figured I could walk 5K in am hour.
Thank you for your generous, six star review and encouragement. Enjoy your walk! Some races now have a walking contingent.
-
It's been 100 + for the past couple of weeks. I don't "walk" outside the house. I'm making a dirt track in a circle around the perimeters of living room and kitchen. Every time I change the water in the front and back yard, I circle the aforesaid perimeters for a hundred steps. It's an all-day process (all-night, too, if you figure the leg-cramp process).
-
Jay, I found that dancing in one spot, clapping hands, and cooking in the kitchen add "steps" to your FitBit daily footsteps.
-
That's funny! What I did once, after an hour pushing a grocery cart through a health-food store before realizing both hands were on the handle, was to stand in the check-out line madly pumping my left arm. Damned if I was going to lose an hour!
-
Yes, and if you are in the kitchen chopping vegetables FitBit counts each chop as if it was a step.
-
That just doesn't make any sense. To be totally accurate it should be worn on the ankle.
My sleep readings are scary-bad: the last four days were 4.5 hours sleep. And I've never gotten higher than 6.
Comment from lalajovanoski
Hello my dear friend, I very much enjoyed reading this beautifully written poem. I like the way that the story is told, although brief, it touches on the pain that goes along with accomplishing such a grand experience. Thank you very much for sharing this. God bless you. With love, Lola
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
|
Hello my dear friend, I very much enjoyed reading this beautifully written poem. I like the way that the story is told, although brief, it touches on the pain that goes along with accomplishing such a grand experience. Thank you very much for sharing this. God bless you. With love, Lola
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
-
Yes, Lola, this poem describes the pains and joys of a race. Word by word and line, I constructed a poem that delivered a punchline and an image of an old man limping across the finish line. Thank you for your review and blessings.
Comment from nomi338
The biggest mistake that you can make if you want to stay fit, is to let too much time to elapse between events that require physical activity. Be proud, pains that do not cripple or kill you indicate your potential growth.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
|
The biggest mistake that you can make if you want to stay fit, is to let too much time to elapse between events that require physical activity. Be proud, pains that do not cripple or kill you indicate your potential growth.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
-
Thank you, nomi338, for your review. Yes, I am proud of this accomplishment and plan to run more.
