My Book of Poems 2010-2017
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Fishin' and Wishin'"a collection of my poetry
40 total reviews
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written my friend so sad to some fathers do have to leave not knowing whether they will return they are true heroes , for the children left behind it must be heartbreaking especially when they don't return well done regards Jill
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Yes this is well written my friend so sad to some fathers do have to leave not knowing whether they will return they are true heroes , for the children left behind it must be heartbreaking especially when they don't return well done regards Jill
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Hi Jill; thank you so much for the lovely review,
~patty~
Comment from Heather Knight
Oh! How very sad...!
Still I love how you managed to create a whole story from this picture.
Great interpretation.
Thanks for sharing. I have to write mine now, let's see what I come up with.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Oh! How very sad...!
Still I love how you managed to create a whole story from this picture.
Great interpretation.
Thanks for sharing. I have to write mine now, let's see what I come up with.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Hi Maria; thank you for the wonderful compliment. I'm looking forward to reading yours, too.
~patty~
Comment from patcelaw
Patty, this is a lovely rendering of poetry for the picture of this little one and has a poignant message. I sent the picture to my fisherman grandson ans told him I could see his baby daughter, who will be one year old soon, as the little on in the picture. He said, he plans to teach her to fish and become a better fisherman than he is. Patricia
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Patty, this is a lovely rendering of poetry for the picture of this little one and has a poignant message. I sent the picture to my fisherman grandson ans told him I could see his baby daughter, who will be one year old soon, as the little on in the picture. He said, he plans to teach her to fish and become a better fisherman than he is. Patricia
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Hi Patricia; thank you so much for the lovely review and share,
~patty~
Comment from robina1978
An excellent photo of a fishing girl that complements your poem perfectly. The father of the girl was called for the army. She kept wishing he would come back. But He did just come back in a coffin: so no more wishing. Best wishes for the prompt. It rhymes all the way, flows well.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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An excellent photo of a fishing girl that complements your poem perfectly. The father of the girl was called for the army. She kept wishing he would come back. But He did just come back in a coffin: so no more wishing. Best wishes for the prompt. It rhymes all the way, flows well.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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thank you so much for the lovely review,
~patty~
Comment from Ricky1024
Well mended dear.
Read another "Wish'n and Fishing" piece earlier and that got my six too!
That was talked about cooking the fish, not the Daddy!
This had good rhyme and flow.
As Good as I could if I should and I would!
That's a mouthful of worms!
Or a can?
Any who, good "Hook'n" you!
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Well mended dear.
Read another "Wish'n and Fishing" piece earlier and that got my six too!
That was talked about cooking the fish, not the Daddy!
This had good rhyme and flow.
As Good as I could if I should and I would!
That's a mouthful of worms!
Or a can?
Any who, good "Hook'n" you!
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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thank you so much for a lovely review,
~patty~
Comment from c_lucas
War has broken apart
many a home
And destroyed
many a smile
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War is a violent way to control the population. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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War has broken apart
many a home
And destroyed
many a smile
***
War is a violent way to control the population. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Yes, war has broken much - too much. Thank you for the lovely review,
~patty~
Comment from humpwhistle
A timely poem.
Very good establishment of the father/daughter relationship.
Even though I felt her anger, her 'scorn',
the 'box' line jarred me.
Not for what it said, but the venom behind it.
Well, anger is supposed to be one of the steps in the grieving process.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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A timely poem.
Very good establishment of the father/daughter relationship.
Even though I felt her anger, her 'scorn',
the 'box' line jarred me.
Not for what it said, but the venom behind it.
Well, anger is supposed to be one of the steps in the grieving process.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Hi Lee; thank you so much for your thoughtful and thorough review,
~patty~
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Oh, this has a sad ending, Patty - the rhyming is good, but some of the lines are long, which makes the tongue trip.
Particularly - So, each Sunday morning, I come down to the dock - and
The President needs to send my daddy to the states
Perhaps cut the odd syllable out here and there...
i.e - So, each Sunday Morn, I come down to the dock - next line, not sure - perhaps cut out "my" - I'm not very good with metre and such, but just know when a line runs smoothly.
Hope you didn't mind me mentioning.
Margaret
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Oh, this has a sad ending, Patty - the rhyming is good, but some of the lines are long, which makes the tongue trip.
Particularly - So, each Sunday morning, I come down to the dock - and
The President needs to send my daddy to the states
Perhaps cut the odd syllable out here and there...
i.e - So, each Sunday Morn, I come down to the dock - next line, not sure - perhaps cut out "my" - I'm not very good with metre and such, but just know when a line runs smoothly.
Hope you didn't mind me mentioning.
Margaret
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Hi Margaret; thank you for the thoughtful review of this poem. I appreciate your help with the lines - I just wrote from the heart on this one - so, I took your suggestions and did some 'massaging.'
I never mind when you give me advice,
~patty~
Comment from JDRBAR
Beautiful, poignant, and heart breaking. How differently we feel about our fathers. Coming home from school each day, I'd wait on the corner until my father left for work before going home. I couldn't stand even seeing him.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Beautiful, poignant, and heart breaking. How differently we feel about our fathers. Coming home from school each day, I'd wait on the corner until my father left for work before going home. I couldn't stand even seeing him.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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thank you for reading. This little girl is not based on me, but on the little girls dealing with today's deployments of our troops.
My heart breaks for them,
~patty~
Comment from Rasmine
Good poem, Patty. I like the meter and rhyme the best. Rhyming is always my favorite in poems, although, I've read some really great ones that don't.
This one is sad and puts me in a melancholy mood. Good job!
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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Good poem, Patty. I like the meter and rhyme the best. Rhyming is always my favorite in poems, although, I've read some really great ones that don't.
This one is sad and puts me in a melancholy mood. Good job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
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Hi; so sorry for putting you in a melancholy mood; the picture just made me think of all the little girls waiting for Daddy to come home,
~patty~
