Last Minute Jitters
A Sonnet Contest37 total reviews
Comment from Irish Rain
Well Miss Janet, I love sonnets, and this is one of the loveliest I've ever read. I love the picture, love the words, but especially 'I think the stars that shine from Heaven's throne, would fall from grace and quickly, quickly burn.' Though it seems to be asking a question here,(previously) it ends in a conclusion, and I think maybe lose the question mark? Just me though. I love this, a six if I had it!! Blessings...
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2017
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Well Miss Janet, I love sonnets, and this is one of the loveliest I've ever read. I love the picture, love the words, but especially 'I think the stars that shine from Heaven's throne, would fall from grace and quickly, quickly burn.' Though it seems to be asking a question here,(previously) it ends in a conclusion, and I think maybe lose the question mark? Just me though. I love this, a six if I had it!! Blessings...
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2017
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Thank you so much for the lovely review and encouraging comments and the virtual six. Always a pleasure to hear from you.
blessings
Janet
Comment from robina1978
A nice photo that complements your poem very well. It is, like most about love. Rhymes as it should, has a twist and original ending lines. Best wishes for the prompt and a good weekend.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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A nice photo that complements your poem very well. It is, like most about love. Rhymes as it should, has a twist and original ending lines. Best wishes for the prompt and a good weekend.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from honeytree
The art work is really
great for these words written
"The rushing whisper of a nearby stream
can cause my mind to wonder where you are --
I seek to slip away into a dream,
to feel your touch and wish upon that star."
Honey tree.
I have no six left
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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The art work is really
great for these words written
"The rushing whisper of a nearby stream
can cause my mind to wonder where you are --
I seek to slip away into a dream,
to feel your touch and wish upon that star."
Honey tree.
I have no six left
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your encouraging review and for the virtual six. Greatly appreciated.
Blessings
Janet
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That's fine by honey tree
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Thank you Honeytree
Comment from rama devi
Excellent sonnet! Eloquent, well composed (fine volta!) and tightly woven with good rhymes and flawless meter and lots of nice poetic devices, like the consonance and alliteration of S and M in this first stanza:
Enchanted by celestial odysseys --
a falling star can make my wish come true.
Illuminated moonlight mysteries
impress upon my heart that I love you.
*(Note one unwanted spacing typo in line two after can.)
A few minor nits:
*
and beats with love that you can not return -
cannot is one word, not two
*
I think the stars that shine from h(H)eaven's throne
*
assured that(,) come tomorrow, we will wed.
This is excellent work, leaning toward a six, but I have none left.
Good title.
Nice presentation. I like the color scheme.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Excellent sonnet! Eloquent, well composed (fine volta!) and tightly woven with good rhymes and flawless meter and lots of nice poetic devices, like the consonance and alliteration of S and M in this first stanza:
Enchanted by celestial odysseys --
a falling star can make my wish come true.
Illuminated moonlight mysteries
impress upon my heart that I love you.
*(Note one unwanted spacing typo in line two after can.)
A few minor nits:
*
and beats with love that you can not return -
cannot is one word, not two
*
I think the stars that shine from h(H)eaven's throne
*
assured that(,) come tomorrow, we will wed.
This is excellent work, leaning toward a six, but I have none left.
Good title.
Nice presentation. I like the color scheme.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your encouraging review rd and for the great suggestions. I made the changes but I did have a reason for the "cannot". I thought that "can not" as two words would be the correct meter as I think "cannot" has both syllables stressed.
Regardless, you are right that it is one word and not two.
I'm so pleased that you liked this one.
blessings
Janet
Blessings
Janet
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Thanks for your kind response,d ear Janet. Happy to help. I believe the stresses are fine with it as one word.
Love and blessings, rd
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image.
-Good rhyme and meter.
-Good imagery and progression
of ideas.
-You show that you care for him
in verses one and two.
-The volta is very good as you
think about him not returning your love.
-A good ending couplet, showing
your confidence once again.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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-Nice image.
-Good rhyme and meter.
-Good imagery and progression
of ideas.
-You show that you care for him
in verses one and two.
-The volta is very good as you
think about him not returning your love.
-A good ending couplet, showing
your confidence once again.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Thank you Pam for your kind and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
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You are welcome, Janet.
Comment from rspoet
This is an excellent sonnet and entry for the contest
with solid iambic pentameter, exact rhymes, the Volta turn
and the reflective couplet
Excellent imagery of nature in the stars and stream
to connect to the love theme
Perfect picture to match
Well done
Best wishes in the contest
RS
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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This is an excellent sonnet and entry for the contest
with solid iambic pentameter, exact rhymes, the Volta turn
and the reflective couplet
Excellent imagery of nature in the stars and stream
to connect to the love theme
Perfect picture to match
Well done
Best wishes in the contest
RS
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Thank you RS for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
'But if my heart is yours, and yours alone,
and beats with love that you can not return -
I think the stars that shine from heavens throne
would fall from grace and quickly, quickly burn?
With trembling feet, I shuffle off to bed -
assured that come tomorrow, we will wed...' wow!
A beautiful, enchanting and glorious sonnet. I am out of sixes but this really is divine, infused with delightful aspects of love, both bitter and sweet. I also enjoyed the layout, it added to the charm of this poem. kindest regards and very well done Meia xx
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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'But if my heart is yours, and yours alone,
and beats with love that you can not return -
I think the stars that shine from heavens throne
would fall from grace and quickly, quickly burn?
With trembling feet, I shuffle off to bed -
assured that come tomorrow, we will wed...' wow!
A beautiful, enchanting and glorious sonnet. I am out of sixes but this really is divine, infused with delightful aspects of love, both bitter and sweet. I also enjoyed the layout, it added to the charm of this poem. kindest regards and very well done Meia xx
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Thank you Meia for your encouraging review and for the virtual six. I always appreciate your comments.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Eternal Muse
A beautiful and very romantic sonnet which is enchanting throughout. I enjoyed reading it immensely. Excellent use of iambic meter and rhyming, though I limped ever so slightly on the rhyming of "odysseys" and "mysteries".
You have a little typo:
I think the stars that shine from heavens throne
"heavens" need an apostrophe after it. Or, can be "heaven's" [throne], but it does need an apostrophe.
Lovely. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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A beautiful and very romantic sonnet which is enchanting throughout. I enjoyed reading it immensely. Excellent use of iambic meter and rhyming, though I limped ever so slightly on the rhyming of "odysseys" and "mysteries".
You have a little typo:
I think the stars that shine from heavens throne
"heavens" need an apostrophe after it. Or, can be "heaven's" [throne], but it does need an apostrophe.
Lovely. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your encouraging review and the great suggestion. Of course, you are right and I immediately made the change.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from TAB_that's me
I don't write sonnets so cannot comment on form but the words are beautiful and full of imagery.
Best to you in the contest.
Teresa
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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I don't write sonnets so cannot comment on form but the words are beautiful and full of imagery.
Best to you in the contest.
Teresa
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Thank you Teresa for your encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
Comment from Hansel1
Awesome piece. It reads quite effortlessly, with strong diction to set the stage. There is a blind passion conveyed throughout, almost bordering on naivety.
I would consider revising line 2 of stanza 3. It isn't incorrect, however using "cannot" instead of "can not" will keep the wonderful pace/meter you've set throughout the rest of the read. It is being picky at this point, but it could help :)
Either way, a solid piece. Thank you for sharing your work, and good luck in the contest - Cheers!
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Awesome piece. It reads quite effortlessly, with strong diction to set the stage. There is a blind passion conveyed throughout, almost bordering on naivety.
I would consider revising line 2 of stanza 3. It isn't incorrect, however using "cannot" instead of "can not" will keep the wonderful pace/meter you've set throughout the rest of the read. It is being picky at this point, but it could help :)
Either way, a solid piece. Thank you for sharing your work, and good luck in the contest - Cheers!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging review.
Blessings
Janet
