Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

A fine piece for the competition with a few little twists and turns in there. I wonder if Dalene will get half of the win anyway?

Darlene, please put down the towel. He pointed it at her."- move the closing speech marks to after towel.



said Dalene / Dalene met him at the door / this new Darlene - change in name spelling here.

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Jul-2017

Thanks so much for noticing these points. Appreciate the corrections and the review.

Comment from Mabaker

Excellent

Very twisted plot. Everybody had their own agenda. Why not go early instead of putting someone through Hell.
A lottery win captures the imagination better than any other topic. Well done Regards Mabaker

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

Thanks much

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

thank you for sharing your entry in the 'Where is she coming from' contest. You managed to meet the requirements of the prompt and tell a compelling story. One can't help but wonder about the way the contests send their notifications. I've come to always consider those letters as 'junk mail,' and I never even open them.

I hope he finds happiness,...or will he?

~patty~

 Comment Written 11-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

I'm pretty sure one would not get a letter but that was creative license-LOl. Thanks much.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I definitely liked this entry in this
"where she coming from" entry in this writing contest.
The sequence of events culminating in the final conclusion, were most amusing,
in fact downright clever. They both got what they wanted,
I thought poor Darlene's number was up, but...all's well, that ends well,
good luck, well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

Thanks much Roy. Appreciate you reading.

reply by royowen on 11-Jul-2017

Well done

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

Oh yes my friend I enjoyed your story if only Darlene had listened in the first place ,she drove Harold away I liked the way you concluded the story it made me smile well done good luck regards Jill

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

Thanks so much for reading and the thoughtful review.

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Seeing as my first name is Harold and I absolutely loathe mowing the lawn, I could relate to your poor protagonist's plight in the witty entry for the "Where Is She Coming From?" contest.
The dialogue is excellent--very well written and conveyed.
My only suggestion to you would be to place a warning for language on your post for those here with more...how do I say this politely...sensitive sensibilities.
Excellent writing, very funny.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
~Dean :)

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

Thanks so much for reading and that is a great suggestion. I forgot to do so.

reply by Dean Kuch on 11-Jul-2017

You're welcome. :)

Comment from rtobaygo

Excellent

Good afternoon

Good tight write. The flow and changing scenes were spot on.. In a short amount of time you were able to define both Harold's and Darlene's characters. Nice twist at the end.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017

Thanks so much!