Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "summer love on beach (haiku)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
85 total reviews
Comment from JW
Thanks for sharing this poem.
In reading it, it brought back memories I had not recalled in years. In South Florida sometimes my spouse and I would take a beach walk in the evening and I could not tell you how many times we've seen the scene you've described. JW
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Thanks for sharing this poem.
In reading it, it brought back memories I had not recalled in years. In South Florida sometimes my spouse and I would take a beach walk in the evening and I could not tell you how many times we've seen the scene you've described. JW
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, JW, for your review. I am glad my poem brought back memories of couples emulating "From Here to Eternity."
Comment from kathleenspalding
Hahaha! Too true! Beach romance is overrated, LOL. Clever haiku flows well and gave me a chuckle. Excellent use of artwork. Should be a perfect entry in the chapter. :-D
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Hahaha! Too true! Beach romance is overrated, LOL. Clever haiku flows well and gave me a chuckle. Excellent use of artwork. Should be a perfect entry in the chapter. :-D
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Kathleen, for your review. I am glad my clever haiku gave you a chuckle.
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You're welcome. Happy Sunday.
Comment from Thal1959
Good one, Andre. I think, in an interview, Deborah Kerr told of how the scene was really irritating because the sand and gunk that was washing up on them was getting everywhere.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Good one, Andre. I think, in an interview, Deborah Kerr told of how the scene was really irritating because the sand and gunk that was washing up on them was getting everywhere.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Yes, Thal1959, I think I caught a glimpse of that interview on YouTube when I was studying the scene. I better go back and watch her interview. Hollywood never shows us the nitty gritty behind the scenes. Thank you for your review.
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Always a pleasure, Andre.
Comment from marybell1
I enjoyed reading your haiku "Summer love". You kept to all the rules. I can relate to that as I live in a warm climate. (Well I think I do - too many summers ago).
Best of luck in the contest.
Marybell1.
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reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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I enjoyed reading your haiku "Summer love". You kept to all the rules. I can relate to that as I live in a warm climate. (Well I think I do - too many summers ago).
Best of luck in the contest.
Marybell1.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Marybell, for your review and for wishing the best. This is not a contest, but another opportunity to get published. The Haiku Anthology just published five of my haiku in volume one. This poem is my first submission to volume two. Thanks.
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You are most welcome and all the best for your next volume.
Marybell1.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Sis Cat,
This is a great haiku for the book & the prompt. Good job on its style. Your few words aptly tell a story of love on the beach. This image is iconic, too.
Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Sis Cat,
This is a great haiku for the book & the prompt. Good job on its style. Your few words aptly tell a story of love on the beach. This image is iconic, too.
Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Jan, for your review. After the last HOh, thakaiku Anthology published five of my haiku, I wrote my first one for the sequel.
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Andre;
-you presented this composition as a haiku I see it more like a senryu as it is behaviorally humanistic in nature as it shares about romance and the sarcastic attitude towards it when making love in the sand or on the beach.
-However, does have two grammatically connected lines that sharing imagery that is very descriptive and expressive both vividly and demonstratively. It also
-it also has a great satori that offers an aha moment or a spontaneity of excitement and is very relative to the conceptual theme.
-The Kigo is referred to as by the sun and the descriptive words "where the sun don't shine."
-Lovely picture that is also relative and appropriate for the conceptual theme.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one especially with your heart can find it.
Alex
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Cheers, Andre;
-you presented this composition as a haiku I see it more like a senryu as it is behaviorally humanistic in nature as it shares about romance and the sarcastic attitude towards it when making love in the sand or on the beach.
-However, does have two grammatically connected lines that sharing imagery that is very descriptive and expressive both vividly and demonstratively. It also
-it also has a great satori that offers an aha moment or a spontaneity of excitement and is very relative to the conceptual theme.
-The Kigo is referred to as by the sun and the descriptive words "where the sun don't shine."
-Lovely picture that is also relative and appropriate for the conceptual theme.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one especially with your heart can find it.
Alex
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Alex, for your thorough and detailed review. Many reviewers have remarked that this is more like a senryu. Since the Haiku Club just published a book of nature haiku, we decided to tackle human themes for the sequel. Thanks again.
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Actually your poem was more like a send will but actually can be interpreted as a haiku. It depends how you look at the human nature of the poem.
Take care and have a good one and God bless you are very welcome, Andre.
Alex
Comment from F. Wehr3
Nice job, lol! A the beach such a romantic place, but the rose colored glasses come off real quick when reality kicks in. Thanks for sharing!
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Nice job, lol! A the beach such a romantic place, but the rose colored glasses come off real quick when reality kicks in. Thanks for sharing!
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Russell, for reviewing. Those love-on-the-beach movies never discuss the reality. Thanks again.
Comment from DR DIP
hehe that is a famous photo from a movie I think it might be from here to eternity.
I like the punch line in this haiku very funny. This poetry like 5-7-5 poetry I call punchline poetry. You write it well. Thanks for sharing Andre.
dip
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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hehe that is a famous photo from a movie I think it might be from here to eternity.
I like the punch line in this haiku very funny. This poetry like 5-7-5 poetry I call punchline poetry. You write it well. Thanks for sharing Andre.
dip
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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You are right, Dip, this is punchline poetry. I wanted a poem that got under reviewers' skins and I delivered. Thanks again. I am glad it made you laugh.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Well I got my chuckle for the day. I had to read it over and over to stop laughing.lol
It is so true, it does get in places it shouldn't especially at the wrong time. Two lines connected and made way for the punch line.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Well I got my chuckle for the day. I had to read it over and over to stop laughing.lol
It is so true, it does get in places it shouldn't especially at the wrong time. Two lines connected and made way for the punch line.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Barb, for your review. I am glad my poem gave you your chuckle for the day. : )
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written humorous haiku. When two people get too romantic on the beach they will be finding sand everywhere on and inside them where they did not even know they have places.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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A very well-written humorous haiku. When two people get too romantic on the beach they will be finding sand everywhere on and inside them where they did not even know they have places.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Sandra, for your review. Several reviewers shared with me their disastrous stories of making love in nature which follows them home! Thanks again.
