Was I the Child You Lost?
Before my birth.68 total reviews
Comment from pipersfancy
A powerful, contemporary sonnet opening with an emotional question that drives the rest of the poem forward. This is what poetry is meant to accomplish--revealing our deepest selves in such a way so as to touch the emotional core of those who may read it, in order to offer insights and a sense of healing.
On a personal side note, my own experience of going through two miscarriages, the last one quite late in pregnancy, followed by healthy pregnancies, made me ask very similar questions.
Thank you for sharing,
pf
pf
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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A powerful, contemporary sonnet opening with an emotional question that drives the rest of the poem forward. This is what poetry is meant to accomplish--revealing our deepest selves in such a way so as to touch the emotional core of those who may read it, in order to offer insights and a sense of healing.
On a personal side note, my own experience of going through two miscarriages, the last one quite late in pregnancy, followed by healthy pregnancies, made me ask very similar questions.
Thank you for sharing,
pf
pf
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Yes, yes, yes, PF, I am so glad you shared your miscarriage experiences because they confirm that my mother and I were not alone to ask these questions. She would be cheered to know that I am sharing her experiences which are in fact universal as a dozen reviewers such as you have shared their personal stories with miscarriages.
Thank you for your generous, six star review of my powerful, contemporary sonnet.
Comment from lyenochka
This poem speaks of such pain. I know some mothers, though they have children who survived, still grieve their miscarried children all their lives. I'm sorry to hear about the severe mental trauma to your mother. I really like the couplet at the end as it is full of healing and forgiveness through poems and writing.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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This poem speaks of such pain. I know some mothers, though they have children who survived, still grieve their miscarried children all their lives. I'm sorry to hear about the severe mental trauma to your mother. I really like the couplet at the end as it is full of healing and forgiveness through poems and writing.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Yes, lyenochka, I would be a mess if I did not have poetry and writing to process my thoughts in a way that a psychiatrist never could. Without her surviving children and writing as anchors, my mother would not have survived the trauma of her loss.
Thank you for your compassionate review. Many women have shared their own experiences with miscarriages.
Comment from LaRosa
How I love the last refrain:
Oh, Mom, each poem brings forgiving hope, inspiring rhymes and runes that help
me cope.
You raise a question about your inception and eventual birth, then with confusion and pain finally come to a moment of forgiveness toward her suffering, and gratefulness for your future gifts.
I love it all.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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How I love the last refrain:
Oh, Mom, each poem brings forgiving hope, inspiring rhymes and runes that help
me cope.
You raise a question about your inception and eventual birth, then with confusion and pain finally come to a moment of forgiveness toward her suffering, and gratefulness for your future gifts.
I love it all.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Yes, LaRosa, I must forgive my mother and focus on my gifts. I am grateful that my mother wrote a story and a poem about mental illness and miscarriages. While the world of the 1960's did not publish her writings, they helped her cope with a difficult situation, forgive herself, and move on. Thank you for your review.
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I admire her, it couldn't have been easy to write when depressed; but I believe in the power of writing to heal our distress.
You will heal now, too. God bless. :)
Comment from kathleenspalding
Excellent and powerful poem speaks volumes. Love the last stanza! The informative author's notes are appreciated. One question - should there be an apostrophe...'sixty-four....? Hope things improved for your family after this tough time. All the best.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Excellent and powerful poem speaks volumes. Love the last stanza! The informative author's notes are appreciated. One question - should there be an apostrophe...'sixty-four....? Hope things improved for your family after this tough time. All the best.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Kathleen, for your review of my powerful poem which speaks volumes.
That is an interesting question about the apostrophe on the abbreviated year. I looked it up and you are correct.
The discovery after her death that our mother was committed to a psychiatric ward after a miscarriage she never told us about was one of several shocks to our family in 2012 when we lost both parents eleven weeks apart. This summer, my sister just graduated college and I got published. Our family has improved after this tough time.
Thanks again for your review.
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My goodness, what a rollercoaster year! Glad things have improved! Mental illness still wasn't talked about much in those days, so maybe your parents just wanted to put that behind them. Between hormonal imbalances and losing a precious life-to-be, it would be enough to incapacitate anyone. I never knew how overwhelming hormones could be until I went through menopause....
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Sis Cat,
This is a very poignant poem. You did a great job with such a personal subject. Your words flow smoothly & readers feel the pain & wondering you speak of, too.
I am sorry for the loss your mother experienced. Miscarriage affects each one differently. I am happy that you were able to write this poem about the event. It says so much about your character. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Sis Cat,
This is a very poignant poem. You did a great job with such a personal subject. Your words flow smoothly & readers feel the pain & wondering you speak of, too.
I am sorry for the loss your mother experienced. Miscarriage affects each one differently. I am happy that you were able to write this poem about the event. It says so much about your character. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thanks again, Jan, for your review and kind words. I am glad my parents left behind the documents that allowed me to piece together this poignant poem. Once again, thanks.
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Andre;
-very touching and powerful this direct communication between the past and the present and a child and his or her creator entices me, the reader, into feeling an emotional roller coaster ride of feelings. This must've been the case for you. Learning all that you have from your father's sculpture in your mother's participatory understanding of a miscarriage.
-Good use of metaphors and imagery to create a very definitively expressive and demonstratively descriptive vision.
-Very good use of enjambment to create an understanding of your writing throughout it without a syntactical break in the meaning and understanding of your writing of your poem.
-Thank you for sharing this, is in itself is, very personal endeavor on your part.
-Take care and have a good one especially with with all those that you love and care for dearly.
Alex
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Cheers, Andre;
-very touching and powerful this direct communication between the past and the present and a child and his or her creator entices me, the reader, into feeling an emotional roller coaster ride of feelings. This must've been the case for you. Learning all that you have from your father's sculpture in your mother's participatory understanding of a miscarriage.
-Good use of metaphors and imagery to create a very definitively expressive and demonstratively descriptive vision.
-Very good use of enjambment to create an understanding of your writing throughout it without a syntactical break in the meaning and understanding of your writing of your poem.
-Thank you for sharing this, is in itself is, very personal endeavor on your part.
-Take care and have a good one especially with with all those that you love and care for dearly.
Alex
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Alex, for your generous review of my powerful and personal poem. My brother and I discovered documents about our parents' untold stories several months after our parents died eleven weeks apart. My brother and I cried when we read her account of her miscarriage which resulted in her being committed to a psych ward. Then there is the poem she wrote five years later and my father's sculpture. I was stunned to learn that my parents had collaborated and created their works the year I was born. So, yes, this has been an emotional roller coaster ride.
Thank you, Alex, for your generous, six star review and kind, supportive words. I appreciate them.
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Your feelings came to your poem what such adequacy and sincerity that became second knowledge for me to understand what you are coming from. A wonderful poem and what it very interesting and lovable life. Take care and have a good one especially with all those that you care for and love dearly.
Alex
Comment from Oatmeal
Sis Cat,
Short, sweet and clean...just like I like them! The arrangement is understandable and effective. Flowing very nicely. It was a pleasure to read. Very well reflected thoughts and expressions.
Everything was clean. Comprehensible and very nicely written.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Sis Cat,
Short, sweet and clean...just like I like them! The arrangement is understandable and effective. Flowing very nicely. It was a pleasure to read. Very well reflected thoughts and expressions.
Everything was clean. Comprehensible and very nicely written.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Oatmeal, for your generous and thorough review and for stopping by. I look forward to seeing you again.
Comment from DR DIP
Wow Andre that is a very personal poem and account of it and you have written it excellently.
That certainly very deep and from the heart You had a very talent father as a sculptor I must say and your Mum a fellow poet well no wonder it was in your blood? thanks for sharing
dip
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Wow Andre that is a very personal poem and account of it and you have written it excellently.
That certainly very deep and from the heart You had a very talent father as a sculptor I must say and your Mum a fellow poet well no wonder it was in your blood? thanks for sharing
dip
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Yes, Dip, poetry is in my blood. Thank you for your generous, six star review of my personal, deep poem. I appreciate it.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I need to ask you and you don't have to answer, when you were born, were you accepted or shunned? This is a sad and yet thought provoking piece on your birth in relation to the one she lost.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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I need to ask you and you don't have to answer, when you were born, were you accepted or shunned? This is a sad and yet thought provoking piece on your birth in relation to the one she lost.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Barb, while I was there when I was born, I would be unable to answer the question other than to say my parents accepted me. Their sculpture, poem, and essay paint an alternate parallel universe of the child who died. Thank you for your review and compassionate question.
Comment from Thal1959
Superb Andre! Perfectly rendered in iambic pentameter in true Shakespearian form - as even the life and death theme are true to the Bard. The ponderings of both you and your mother are like Hamlet's soliloquy.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Superb Andre! Perfectly rendered in iambic pentameter in true Shakespearian form - as even the life and death theme are true to the Bard. The ponderings of both you and your mother are like Hamlet's soliloquy.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Thal1959, for your generous, six star review. My mother would have been pleased to hear her ponderings compared to Hamlet's soliloquy. Thanks for your complement on the life and death theme of my sonnet.
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This one was truly a pleasure, Andre.
