As Daylight Creeps In
No artwork permitted Haiku Challenge contest entry4 total reviews
Comment from B.B. Rose
There you go, darling. Now we're tied. Silly of me to think this site wants critical input and that the star ratings are meaningless. I thought I was giving you my thoughtful opinion and that a four star rating was good. I do apologize and will attempt to behave myself in future. I appreciate the advice.
However, I believe it was Twain who said, "Avoid adjectives and eschew adverbs absolutely." Clever guy, that Twain.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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There you go, darling. Now we're tied. Silly of me to think this site wants critical input and that the star ratings are meaningless. I thought I was giving you my thoughtful opinion and that a four star rating was good. I do apologize and will attempt to behave myself in future. I appreciate the advice.
However, I believe it was Twain who said, "Avoid adjectives and eschew adverbs absolutely." Clever guy, that Twain.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2017
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Aha! Just saw your review. Now you do owe me an apology. The prompt did not specify strict haiku rules apply. Only a newbie would hit with a fourster for that reason, and say anything as silly as "no kind of writing benefits from use of adverbs." It's one thing not to vote for a poem if it doesn't live up to your personal standards, but it's quite another thing to diss it. That's considered bad manners in these parts, and I'm sure you didn't want to be rude, just a smart ass.
This is our first lovers' quarrel. If you choose to kiss and make up, please respect my perfectly serviceable poem with the non- judgmental fiver (not considered a compliment unless the comments reflect one).
Decided to withhold my wink.
Comment from Mame
Well set out a Haiku. It follows the required pattern. I like the way we are transported to the hope of a new day 'as daylight creeps in' and the contrasting 'candle has been snuffed'
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Well set out a Haiku. It follows the required pattern. I like the way we are transported to the hope of a new day 'as daylight creeps in' and the contrasting 'candle has been snuffed'
Comment Written 09-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2017
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Thank you so much, Mame, for your gratifying and insightful review.
Comment from Marykelly
The candle as a means of illuminating the setting gives the sense of a time before electricity and an old-fashioned way of life is suggested. Much information in 17 syllables.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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The candle as a means of illuminating the setting gives the sense of a time before electricity and an old-fashioned way of life is suggested. Much information in 17 syllables.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Mary, for your very perceptive review.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written poem for the contest. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with your descriptive wording. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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This is a very well written poem for the contest. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with your descriptive wording. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your review, Teri.
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you are so welcome!
