Comment from rama devi

Excellent

This is expressive and passionate (obviously!) and matches the artwork so well. Good synergy with words and imagery. My only stumble is the passive voicing IS CONSUMED. I recommend playing around with using the verb in active voice.

Also, not sure THEIR is needed, as it's implied. Since word economy is ideal, and you already have great word economy in lines one and three, I suggest editing line two.

Additionally, consumed is misspelled (only one M)

Example idea:
hot passion
consumed within soulful dance
summer's folly

or

hot passion
consumed inside soulful dance
summer's folly

or

hot passion
consumed in soulful dance
summer's folly

Big applause for the consonance and alliteration of S and the consonance of L and M and F as well.

As I know you'll fix spag and consider suggestions, five stars in advance.

Expressive work. True to form.

Lots of Love,
rd

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017

Hello Rama, thanks a lot. I'm so pleased to see you back and for your great review. Not only have I corrected the spelling mistake but I've also edited. You're right, it reads so much better now. Thanks again.
I hope you still do editing because I would like to send some 30000 words for you to read and edit. Will that be alright? I've got your email address.I'll send you a message very soon with a few questions. Lots of love. Ulla:)

reply by rama devi on 05-Jul-2017

Thanks for your lovely reply, dear. yes, I still do editing and you're welcome to send your work anytime. I'd love to work with you. I've been less active on the site and more active editing for clients, but I have time for yours too, as I finished two books recently.

You might see me here intermittently...but not as much as previously.

Love, love love,
rd

Comment from marybell1

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your 3-8-4 haiku "Hot Passion". Dancing close together with romantic music in the heat of summer. What else do you expect?
All the best.
Marybell1.

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017

Hi Marybell, Thanks. I would really like to know all the mistakes I made as you gave me a four star. Much appreciated. Ulla

reply by marybell1 on 05-Jul-2017

Dear Ulla, I am glad you told me I only gave you four stars. I am very sorry and hope I did not upset you. You definitely deserve 5 stars and I am amending it straight away. Please do not hesitate to tell me if you do not agree with me. - No excuse but I was using a different community computer (I do not have my own).
All the best
Marybell1.

reply by the author on 06-Jul-2017

Hi Maribell, I'm certainly not offended. I was just puzzled why. Thanks so much for changing and explaining. All best. Ulla:)))

reply by marybell1 on 07-Jul-2017

You are most welcome.
Marybell1.

Comment from Sankey

Excellent

Good one Ulla. I loved the picture also. Plenty of innuendo in such a short, short poem. Lets the mind wander for sure. Being alone without my wife for over 2 months does not help.

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017

Thanks a lot, Sanky, so glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:))

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

More heat for the summer. I always enjoy reading these shorter forms of poetry, which say so much with so few words. Whatever helps our imaginations to entertain us. Great job. :-)

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017

Thank you so much, Ric. I'm glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hola, guapisima,

Como estas? Yo, tirandillo.

I love your haiku about passionate love. It's awesome and well composed. Your lines connect smoothly and your satori is insightful.

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017

Ayayay. muchisimas gracias. So glad you liked my wee musing about a summer love. Un besito. Ulla:)))

Comment from sharonlshelley

Excellent

nice little poem you have written, i really enjoyed the read also i liked the picture
you used for it, thanks for sharing you work nice to read sharon

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017

Thank you so much. So glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Heather Knight

Excellent

Your poem is very powerful and so is the accompanying picture. The colors are perfect to reflect the passion you speak about.
I love the phrase 'soulful dance'.
BTW, lovely profile pic.
Thanks for sharing.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017

Thanks a lot for your lovely review, Maria Jose. The Pic is taken in Madrid by the way. Glad you like it. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

It seems in this contest entry more is heating up than just the air temperature. LOL. I really enjoyed reading this poem. It caused me to smile. Good luck with the contest.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017

Hahaha, yeah, right. Thanks a lot Barbara. All best. Ulla:)))