Reviews from

Haiku Club Challenges, Book II

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "haiku (Shakespeare's tragic tale)"
an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets

53 total reviews 
Comment from rtobaygo
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Good afternoon, Dean

As before I don't know what grabs my attention more . . .the picture or the macabre humor. Either way its a win win as I enjoyed both.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray




 Comment Written 03-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
    Thanks for reading and reviewing my haiku, Ray.
    I'm glad you enjoyed it.
    You take care as well, my friend, and Happy 4th of July.
     photo 00211_zpsk2xcp2pg.gif
Comment from Grasshopper2
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Mr. Macarbe,
Always looking to illuminate the dark side, which you do so very well. I won't waste time with syllabic counts and if the kigo is accurate. Who cares about specifics when your satori is such a good play on words. Nice touch, scream.

Moi sans-anything-currently-relevant


 Comment Written 03-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
    I just wrote it as it came to me and lo and behold it came out with exactly 5-7-5, Michael, or seventeen syllables.
    Who knew...go figure?
    Just lucky, I guess.
    Thanks for reading, buddy. :)
reply by Grasshopper2 on 03-Jul-2017
    There is no such thing as just luck. Luck is when preparedness meets opportunity.
Comment from TAB_that's me
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You just had to do it didn't you Dean? You had to make it into a horror romance. Hummm...lol. Oh well - well done and fun - and it is summer romance.

teresa

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017
    Yeah ... hah! Ya see there, people? Teresa knows!
    Not everyone believes me for some reason, Teresa.
    But the play, Romeo and Juliet, does indeed take place in midsummer.
    Thanks for the R&R.
    ~Dean :}
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Exceptional
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hahaha..... this one made me laugh, my dearest Dean. Excellent presentation... of course... great flow with the well connected lines.... very smooth.... the satori is a killer... hahaha. Love it!!!!!

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
    Thanks for reading and reviewing my haiku, Gypsy Sensei.
    "The satori is a killer", she says, LOL.
    Happy 4th of July, darlin', and thanks for the six.
     photo 00211_zpsk2xcp2pg.gif
Comment from Spitfire
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Groan on the bastardized version of one of Shakespeare's tale, but since I thought it a silly play, it deserves to be abused. Romeo and Juliet is indeed a nightmare to make romance readers scream.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
    I couldn't agree more, Shari.
    Thanks for reading, much obliged...
    ~Dean  photo tup1_zpsyu1wpkci.gif
Comment from Thomas Bowling
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Great mashup. As always a clever write. I didn't realize that they were only together for five days. And I read it. Just goes to show. Sometimes you need to read the author notes.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
    They do help sometimes if people take the time to read them as you have.
    Thanks for the R & R, Tom.
    ~Dean  photo hmm1_zpsfi5vspv9.gif
Comment from Cycler
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You are quite a maestro with these poems and the artistry. Is this your own art?
I love the play on words (scream versus dream)
What is the Haiku Club? Is that a book you've created or something on Fanstory?

Anyway, this is great entertainment.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
    No, the artwork is from Google images, public domain, Cycler.
    Thanks very much for taking the time to read & review.
    It is appreciated.
    ~Dean  photo hmm1_zpsfi5vspv9.gif
Comment from Pantygynt
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Well, I mean, you could tell it wouldn't last, and of course she was far too young. They'd have locked them both up today. That might have saved them. You simply can't trust monks to get the dosage right. so much for the morality of the piece. The haiku I think is very clever, but I could be wrong. The satori, which also contains the kigo, is certainly detached from the first two lines. It has to be as it refers to a totally different play. Commendable research has been carried out on the subject of Juliet's age and the significance of the forthcoming Lammas Eve.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
    Thanks very much for reading and for the indepth feedback as well, Jim.
    All are appreciated.
    Cheers,
    ~Dean  photo hmm1_zpsfi5vspv9.gif
Comment from damommy
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As you say, it's still romance, and I like it.

Do you suppose in those days 14 year old's were more mature? I've always thought they were foolish rather than romantic.

Good presentation as always. Love the twist with 'scream.'

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
    No, I don't believe they were any more mature than today's 14 year-olds, Yvonne.
    More vulnerable and easier prey, perhaps.
    Thanks for reading...
    ~Dean  photo hmm1_zpsfi5vspv9.gif
Comment from krys123
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Brilliant, Dean;
-after reading your author's notes I do conferred that it is true is just a 5 or 6 day affair and Romeo and Juliet and not a span of spring and summer. Very clever of you and quite witty and inventive.
-The pictures spot on and very relative to the conceptual theme of the writing.
-The words definitely expects a contradictory reasoning with the flavor of a slap in the face satire.
-Good luck in the contest my friend and take care and have a good one.
Very well done
Alex

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2017