My Swimmer
Pride in son's hard work and accomplishment. .8 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Well worded poem about your son's ability and the pride you have in his talent. He seems to be a very good swimmer. The gull is a mixed metaphor. Because it can fly and fly is a word for fast. But a bird doesn't swim. Maybe you should try to find a fast fish.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Well worded poem about your son's ability and the pride you have in his talent. He seems to be a very good swimmer. The gull is a mixed metaphor. Because it can fly and fly is a word for fast. But a bird doesn't swim. Maybe you should try to find a fast fish.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Thanks for the input. But a butterfly is also the name of a stroke and it is an insect. Although it may be a mixed metaphor, a swimmer looks like a gull when his arms are extended doing the butterfly stroke. I believe it works.
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You're welcome.
I agree that the butterfly makes a swimmers arms look like a bird. So it does work.
d.
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Thank you for caring enough to respond.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem. Swimming is one of the most gracious sport without too much sweat. No one will notice the sweat anyway, because the pool water washes away the sweat.lol.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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A very well-written poem. Swimming is one of the most gracious sport without too much sweat. No one will notice the sweat anyway, because the pool water washes away the sweat.lol.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Yes, another good thing is your child is always clean. Thanks for the read and the review.
Comment from RodG
It seems we have a Michael Phelps in the making and the parental pride really comes through. Even someone who has never been to a swim meet can visualize the action depicted. I especially liked stanza 5 describing him moving through water. The only rhyme that doesn't work for me is LAG. Otherwise, a fun read. Rod
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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It seems we have a Michael Phelps in the making and the parental pride really comes through. Even someone who has never been to a swim meet can visualize the action depicted. I especially liked stanza 5 describing him moving through water. The only rhyme that doesn't work for me is LAG. Otherwise, a fun read. Rod
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Thanks for the careful read and your review. Much appreciated.
Comment from southernyankeespeaks
What a delightful poem; it was easy to read. I loved the rhyming and structure of your work.
The verses scream of the pride the author has in The Swimmer, well done.
Your choice of artwork and background color were "spot on."
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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What a delightful poem; it was easy to read. I loved the rhyming and structure of your work.
The verses scream of the pride the author has in The Swimmer, well done.
Your choice of artwork and background color were "spot on."
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your kinds words and great rating.
Comment from KL Williams
As a parent myself, I'm familiar with that pride. It is an amazing feeling! I thought your poem was well written, I felt like I was right there waiting and watching. Great job, and good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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As a parent myself, I'm familiar with that pride. It is an amazing feeling! I thought your poem was well written, I felt like I was right there waiting and watching. Great job, and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Thank you for the read and your kind words.
Comment from Natali Holden
This poem has a beautiful rhyme scheme. From what I read I know that your pride is not wasted, an amazing son. Always "leaving the competition in watery dust" he's sure to win. And if I were you, I'd be proud of him too.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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This poem has a beautiful rhyme scheme. From what I read I know that your pride is not wasted, an amazing son. Always "leaving the competition in watery dust" he's sure to win. And if I were you, I'd be proud of him too.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your read and your review. Much appreciated.
Comment from bmethner
What a beautiful description of a swimmer's race. The rhythm complimented the pace for a race, and the rhyme gave it a wonderful musical tone. I could feel the pride watching your son compete. It is truly a great thing to experience. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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What a beautiful description of a swimmer's race. The rhythm complimented the pace for a race, and the rhyme gave it a wonderful musical tone. I could feel the pride watching your son compete. It is truly a great thing to experience. Nicely done.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your read and your kind review. Much appreciated.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Seems you are rather proud of him.
Sure he will appreciate this little tribute.
Should make an interesting entry into this contest.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Seems you are rather proud of him.
Sure he will appreciate this little tribute.
Should make an interesting entry into this contest.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017
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Thank you for your read and your review. Much appreciated.
