Comment from estory

Excellent

I thought this was an interesting piece, it reaches into the realm of performance poetry, which I am beginning to explore. It's very dramatic, read in two voices, it really creates the effect of two characters in a conversation, revealing two different views of the relationship. I wonder what it would sound like with the voices spoken simultaneously. I think if you tried it as a true performance piece outside of haiku you could open up the language a little more and make it much more complicated. estory

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017

thank you for the lovely review. You've given me something to think about - but, I do enjoy working with the different poetic forms and challenging myself to work within a frame work,

~patty~

Comment from Rasmine

Excellent

This is very romantic.

My favorite parts are:
Why do you love me?
I am so unlovable
What can you possibly see?

Your soul speaks to mine
Our kindred spirits entwine
You are my everything

:)

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017

Hi there; thank you so much for the lovely review,

~patty~

Comment from pbomar1115

Excellent

I have never seen a poem written like this but of course, poems come in different presentations. A woman questioning her man about his love for her is a thought that each one of us has.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017

Hi Phillip; thank you for such a wonderful review. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece,

~patty~

reply by pbomar1115 on 03-Jul-2017

You're welcome, Patty

Phillip

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

My goodness! This sounds like a lesson in Japanese. At least the notes do. The poem sounds like a declaration of love that is humbly accepted again with the concept of "till death us do part". The reaper is a great leveller and once he has swung his scythe all bets are off as the responder implies here.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017

Hi Jim; thank you for the lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem,

~patty~

Comment from MelB

Excellent

Hi Patty, I truly enjoyed reading this katauta poem. It definitely had the feel of a haiku or senryu. I like the question and answer format. Well done!

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017

Hi Mel;
thank you for the lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem,

~patty~

Comment from smbau

Excellent

I like the content of katauta and its presentation as a dialogue of two lovers. The poem is written in first persons style. The mood is melancholy for the character that doubts self and lover's love. The last two stanza then mood changes - more like a conflict of hearts resolved and appears to end in a positive happy note. Noted a few rhymes yet did not see any rhyme scheme. Philosophy expressed appear to be more romantic and spiritual.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2017

thank you so much for the lovely review,

~patty~

Comment from bookishfabler

Excellent

Again, I have no knowledge of the different poems and thier structures. I read the one's I like, so obviously I enjoyed your poem. Thanks for sharing
hugs Heidi

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017

Hi Heidi; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem,

~patty~

Comment from sunao

Excellent

Wow, this is my first time to see this style of poetry. Thank you so much for sharing such a wonderful piece. Please keep up the splendid work and have a fabulous day.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017

thank you so much for your lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem,

~patty~

Comment from nancyrabbrose

Excellent

This is a very interesting poetry form and you did a great job with it. Thank you for sharing with us your intriguing poem and the accompanying information. Well done.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017

Hi there; thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem,

~patty~

Comment from kiwisteveh

Exceptional

Hi, Patty.

I enjoyed your to and fro katauta and without knowing how that word should be pronounced, I'm guessing that's a cute little rhyme in the title.

I like the conversation style in general - I wrote a tanka suite a little while back (not being aware of the name somonka which you give in your notes. Here the left hand side gives the bleak thoughts of one who feels unworthy of love (a mental state which contributes to much of the personal misery in the world), while the right hand side provides the cure, unconditional love. We need more of the latter!

Steve

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2017

Hi Steve; thank you for this wonderful review. I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem, and totally understood its message. We do need much more love in this world!

~patty~
ps; thank you so much for the wonderful sixth star