Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Hi Patty. Dramatic presentation and adds to the flair of your writing. Darkness and Nothing is an excellent start and finish as it makes your reader believe the Nothing is the result of the piece. Deep. I liked the read and hope you are in a better place now! xoxo Kiwi

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017

Hi Kiwi; thank you so much for the lovely review. I am indeed feeling better this morning. I think writing about the 'dark cloud' helped tremendously.

~patty~

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

this is a sorrowful piece of poetry dear patty! the message is grim yet profound. i can relate to it as my life seems to turmoil because of my schizophrenia.
thank you for sharing!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017

Hi Rebekka; thank you so much for the lovely review. I'm feeling much better this morning. I was so worried when I wrote this that the depression was going to last for much longer,

~patty~

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

Wow, this is an effective cinquain. While I have not written any myself, I appreciate the craft and the message of yours. It creates the image in mind of a person being sucked into a whirlpool, but this could also be a metaphor for a person being sucked into depression so severe that it leads to suicide--nothingness. No aid is coming and the person is helpless. Despair reigns.

Thank you for sharing your dark, emotional poem.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017

Hi Andre; thank you so much for the thorough and concise review of the poem. I was going for total bleakness, and your review indicates that that was what you perceived.

~patty~

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very well written Cinquain. It seems like a really dark poem with very good descriptive wording and great art work for the imagery. Good job. Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017

Hi Teri; thank you so much for the lovely review,

~patty~

Comment from Melissa Anderson

Excellent

Not sure what you were feeling when you wrote this, but it is a perfect description of the grief I experienced after the loss of a dear friend. It is amazing how you expressed those feelings so vividly. The grief has subsided, but I remember it being just as your poem described.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017

Hi Melissa; thank you so much for the lovely review of my poem. The feelings expressed can be about any kind of sadness or depression. I'm glad to know you are doing better now, and I'm sorry about the loss of your friend,

~patty~

Comment from janalma

Excellent

This is a realistic, sad look at depression. The fact is that when you get down to where there is nothing, even tho you've hit bottom, you can't always get it together enough to start back up. So you don't always go up when you hit bottom, as they always say so hopefully; sometimes you just cruise around on the bottom endlessly. Good, evocative poem that tells it like it is.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017

thank you so much for this thorough and concise review of my poem. Wandering around in the nothingness is probably much worse than the trip down,

~patty~

Comment from pipersfancy

Excellent

When I fall down the rabbit hole, I try to remind myself that the nothingness in that darkness is actually the place where everything in creation once began its journey.
pf

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017

thank you so much for your lovely review of this rather dark piece,

~patty~

Comment from Cindy Warren

Excellent

That's so sad, and that tangled picture is the perfect accompaniment. It sounds like someone who is suffering from depression and can't seem to find a way back.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017

Hi Cindy; that you for understanding the meaning of the poem and for your thoughtful review. The piece was a bit dark, and I'm happy to say that today, I am seeing the light,

~patty~

Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

Hi Patty,

Your Cinquain is in excellent form. All of the syllables per line are as described. The presentation is chilling and suits your subject matter. The tone is sad but conveys your message perfectly.

Good job!

Kim

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017

Hi Kim; thank you so much for the lovely review,

~patty~

Comment from duchessofdrumborg

Excellent

"Down the Rabbit Hole" is short, succinct and very much to the point. It was a pleasure to both read and review a work of this standard. Despair is not want anyone would want. You KEEP WRITING and I'll keep reading.

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017

Hi there; thank you so much for the lovely review of this somewhat dark piece,

~patty~