Scattered Like My Thoughts
My thoughts are scattered and they're cloudy.89 total reviews
Comment from hari anand
Very imaginative exceptional thought. Loved the correlation of clouds and thoughts. Perfect in its syllable format your poem deserves to stand our for the content. Best of luck.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Very imaginative exceptional thought. Loved the correlation of clouds and thoughts. Perfect in its syllable format your poem deserves to stand our for the content. Best of luck.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, hargunanand, for your generous, six star review and for wishing me well in the contest. When I stepped outside one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I saw and photographed these promising clouds. By the time we returned from our walk, I had finished writing my poem on my iPhone. Thanks again.
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Hi I think this happens with all of us we get inspired from anything or everything. 😊👍
Comment from nancyjam
I enjoyed the imagery in your
5-7-5. " Scattered clouds" as a metaphor for your
thoughts as you wait in the heat for that first
raindrop or that first bit of clarity in your thoughts.
Best of lucking the contest.
Nancy
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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I enjoyed the imagery in your
5-7-5. " Scattered clouds" as a metaphor for your
thoughts as you wait in the heat for that first
raindrop or that first bit of clarity in your thoughts.
Best of lucking the contest.
Nancy
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Nancy, for your review and for wishing me well in the contest. When I stepped outside my door one morning during a heatwave to walk my dog before it got too hot, I was struck by the sight of these promising, scattered clouds. My scattered thoughts focused in a moment of clarity as I took this picture on my iPhone and proceeded to compose my poem on my phone while I walked. By the time I returned home, I had completed this poem.
Comment from Grasshopper2
Hi Andre,
Your syllabic count is spot on (I would be shocked if it wasn't), the picture you paint is cohesive, and your satori is an excellent juxtaposition of the image. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Michael
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Hi Andre,
Your syllabic count is spot on (I would be shocked if it wasn't), the picture you paint is cohesive, and your satori is an excellent juxtaposition of the image. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Michael
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Michael, for your generous review and for wishing me the best in the contest. I appreciate it.
Comment from catch22
Hello SC, you've penned an excellent 5/7/5 for the contest with the correct form and syllable count, as well as a strong image of an all thought consuming heat wave. I thought the simile in the first line was very clever. Best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Hello SC, you've penned an excellent 5/7/5 for the contest with the correct form and syllable count, as well as a strong image of an all thought consuming heat wave. I thought the simile in the first line was very clever. Best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, catch22, for your generous review of my 5-7-5 and for wishing me the best in the contest. I appreciate it.
Comment from JW
Thanks for sharing this poem.
For around here, the part about the heat could not be truer. However, not the rainfall. We've had more rain the past two weeks than a combined total since the beginning of the year. JW
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thanks for sharing this poem.
For around here, the part about the heat could not be truer. However, not the rainfall. We've had more rain the past two weeks than a combined total since the beginning of the year. JW
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Wow, JW, that's a lot pf rain for such a short period. Keep dry. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
A wonderful descriptive 5-7-5 Andre, which you seem to produce time after time.
Every line is wonderful capped by the brilliant....Tongue awaits raindrop.....fantastic
Mitchell
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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A wonderful descriptive 5-7-5 Andre, which you seem to produce time after time.
Every line is wonderful capped by the brilliant....Tongue awaits raindrop.....fantastic
Mitchell
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Mitchell, for your lovely review of my 5-7-5 and compliments on my poetry. I appreciate it.
Comment from l.raven
HI Andre, so good to see you my friend...if you get enough of those clouds...you may just get those raindrops...very nicely written you...and the perfect picture...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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HI Andre, so good to see you my friend...if you get enough of those clouds...you may just get those raindrops...very nicely written you...and the perfect picture...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Linda, for your lovely review of my poem. I appreciate it.
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you are always sooooo welcome Andre...xxoo love
Comment from Ann Philips
Clouds are one of my favorite things so your poem automatically attracts me. I am particularly fond of the first line. The imagery is nice and suited so well to the topic and the brief nature of the poem. I also like the use of "invade" in the second line and the image of the tongue and raindrop meeting in the final line.
You certainly meet the requirements have have included nice imagery in the brief space. I struggled a little moving from the heatwave to the last line. It was a slightly more difficult transition.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Clouds are one of my favorite things so your poem automatically attracts me. I am particularly fond of the first line. The imagery is nice and suited so well to the topic and the brief nature of the poem. I also like the use of "invade" in the second line and the image of the tongue and raindrop meeting in the final line.
You certainly meet the requirements have have included nice imagery in the brief space. I struggled a little moving from the heatwave to the last line. It was a slightly more difficult transition.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Ann, for your generous review and for wishing me the best in the contest. Yes, my use of the verb "invade" was revolutionary as a scattered army of clouds marched across the sky.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Very good Andre. Perfect in structure lines one and two, which speak for themselves and good personification of clouds. Line three is a good satori again with personification. Overall very good - good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Very good Andre. Perfect in structure lines one and two, which speak for themselves and good personification of clouds. Line three is a good satori again with personification. Overall very good - good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, Dorothy, for your encouraging review. I am glad my cloud personification works. Thank you also for wishing me well in the contest.
Comment from TKField
Sitting in a boiling cauldron in the backyard all day, I have a lot of time to contemplate interesting cloud formations. Sometimes I see clouds that look like people. Sometimes I see people who look like clouds. This marvelous, diaphanous, metaphorical ode to our airborne fluffy friends certainly captures the essence of marshmallows in an electric blue sky. Since it is now summer in Texas, I'm afraid I won't be getting much moisture on the old tongue until at least mid-September. Hail, tornadoes and plagues of locusts, yes. Rain....not really.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Sitting in a boiling cauldron in the backyard all day, I have a lot of time to contemplate interesting cloud formations. Sometimes I see clouds that look like people. Sometimes I see people who look like clouds. This marvelous, diaphanous, metaphorical ode to our airborne fluffy friends certainly captures the essence of marshmallows in an electric blue sky. Since it is now summer in Texas, I'm afraid I won't be getting much moisture on the old tongue until at least mid-September. Hail, tornadoes and plagues of locusts, yes. Rain....not really.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Oh, thank you, TKField, for you encouraging review of my ode to our airborne fluffy friends. Please keep safe from the hail, tornadoes, and locusts in Texas during this time of year. The rain you do not have to worry about for a time. Thanks again.
