Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

This is excellent, Teresa. The visuals immediately arising from your words are vivid. Your haiku works very well without artwork and that means it is very well done.

When depression yields, the sun does rise.

Great addition to your haiku Club Book.

Gloria

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017

Thank you Gloria:)

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Teresa,
This is a great haiku about the effects of depression & its aftermath. It is a serious illness that one must got a hold of. Your haiku paints a great picture. I believe that there is hope to overcome depression with work & therapy. Good job. Have a great day. Jan

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017

Thank you Jan:)

Comment from DR DIP

Excellent

Having suffered from depression I can so relate to your haiku your analogy that the sunrise awaits after the dark clouds of depression have disappeared. thanks for sharing

dip

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017

Thank you dip:)

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

I liked this, Teresa, but I would lose one of either of the two adjectives--"deep" or "dark" (probably "deep", since deep shadows are already suggestively "dark").
That would make your humanistic haiku come in at just 2/7/4, still well within the required limits for haiku poetry.
If I've learned one thing I've learned that haiku pertaining to human values and attributes require no kigo.
Great job with this...

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017

Yep, Gypsy told me the same thing and I have changed it. Thanks so much:)

reply by Dean Kuch on 22-Jun-2017

My pleasure, Teresa.
~Dean :)

Comment from bmethner

Excellent

The thoughts and words flow easily, and its tone of hope rings through. The syllabication follows the haiku structure perfectly. Very nice message to send with so few words to make its point. Enjoyed reading it

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017

Thank you:)

reply by bmethner on 22-Jun-2017

You are welcome

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, Teresa,

Thank you for adding your beautiful haiku to our book. I really like it and I can relate to the darkness of depression. I suggest that you take the word 'deep' off...

beyond
dark shadows, sunrise awaits -
depression yields

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017

Hi Gypsy, thanks for the review and suggestion. Can you tell me why I should take that word out?

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 22-Jun-2017

With haiku, the goal is brevity. The rule of thumb is what you can say in one breath. Always check after you are done and ask yourself which words you need to express the thought... nothing more.
'
two adjectives for one noun could be excessive when the word is redundant... deep dark... shadows are dark.... I understand if you want to express deep depression or a dark degree of shadow so you can keep one and that should be sufficient... either deep shadows or dark shadows, both are too much.

Also, you have only one word on the first line and then you have eight words on the second... it's out of balance.

reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017

Thanks for the help:)

reply by Gypsy Blue Rose on 22-Jun-2017

You are welcome :)

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

Excellent work with this. I have suffered from chronic depression my entire life and know the awesome feeling of euphoria when the darkness of depression is lifted. I enjoyed this one very much.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017

thank you Sasha. You haven't posted anything for awhile. Is everything ok?

Comment from RodG

Excellent

You appear to have fulfilled the requirements of this challenge in this haiku about a serious mental illness, depression.
Usually adjectives strung together turn me off, but here "deep dark" (plus the alliteration) emphasizes the depth of the Speaker's depression. I also like the metaphor of "shadows" and how they (aka depression) ultimately lifts/yields.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017

Thank you Rod:)

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Teresa

= Good ole depression shows its ugly in a deep pit at any time and without mercy.
= Thank goodness for the occasional sunrise that can take it away.

<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers <> Jax / Jackie


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 Comment Written 22-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017

Thank you Jax:)

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

One cannot live in a world of darkness and expect to survive. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. Good job.

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 Comment Written 22-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2017

Thank you Charlie:)