Somewhenever, Time and Time Again
Freeverse: spiritual43 total reviews
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
This is a wonderful Free Verse, my friend on life as we know it. I love the line "space/time fabric enmeshed" nice decription :) I enjoyed all your notes and quotes as well. great job! ~Kerry
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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This is a wonderful Free Verse, my friend on life as we know it. I love the line "space/time fabric enmeshed" nice decription :) I enjoyed all your notes and quotes as well. great job! ~Kerry
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Thank-you for the insightful and descriptive comments. It is through the eyes of my reviewers that I am able to more fully understand a lot of the hidden meanings behind my writing; and realize exactly how it is being perceived.
I really appreciate your continued support.
Blessings,
Brother Badger
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You are more than welcome, my friend.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Well, Darren, whatever poetsteve and lyenchoka told you truly worked because I certainly have nothing to add nor edits to suggest.
Hey, you can't mess with perfection, right?
This is an excellent free verse piece about finding one's true self and being kind and thoughtful to others along the way.
It's not always the destination which makes something seem so special.
It's the journey.
Well done, and have a fantastic weekend.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Well, Darren, whatever poetsteve and lyenchoka told you truly worked because I certainly have nothing to add nor edits to suggest.
Hey, you can't mess with perfection, right?
This is an excellent free verse piece about finding one's true self and being kind and thoughtful to others along the way.
It's not always the destination which makes something seem so special.
It's the journey.
Well done, and have a fantastic weekend.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
-
Thank-you for the insightful and descriptive comments. It is through the eyes of my reviewers that I am able to more fully understand a lot of the hidden meanings behind my writing; and realize exactly how it is being perceived.
I really appreciate your continued support.
Blessings,
Brother Badger
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Blessings, and you're welcome, Darren.
~Dean
Comment from krys123
Cheers Badger_29;
-I am so sorry I have a taste 6 star rating in my coffers for you definitely deserve one.
-I was satisfied with the author's notes and more likely very attentive to the fact that you gave recognition to those that helped you with this poem and also defining some of the words used in your writing which is helpful in reading your poem.
-Your poem to me was an eye-opener of extreme measures Where I learned the word apathy in a whole new different light And that enmity can be a downfall to our humanity.
-Your reading read fluidly throughout the writing because of the well-written enjambment which help the reading flow smoothly throughout the writing without a hiccup or a syntactical break in the meaning and the understanding of The reading of your poem.
-Good use of alliteration In the words "more mature measure".
-Also there was a good use of metaphors As in "For this cosmic riddle
reeling for OUR pleasure; if you think your part is little, take a more mature measure!" Which I thought was a good metaphor.
-I like to use of the words that you coined some-nothingness and some-wheneverWhich I would've probably hyphenated.
-Thanks so much for sharing and take care and have a good one especially with all those that you love and care for dearly.
Alex
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Cheers Badger_29;
-I am so sorry I have a taste 6 star rating in my coffers for you definitely deserve one.
-I was satisfied with the author's notes and more likely very attentive to the fact that you gave recognition to those that helped you with this poem and also defining some of the words used in your writing which is helpful in reading your poem.
-Your poem to me was an eye-opener of extreme measures Where I learned the word apathy in a whole new different light And that enmity can be a downfall to our humanity.
-Your reading read fluidly throughout the writing because of the well-written enjambment which help the reading flow smoothly throughout the writing without a hiccup or a syntactical break in the meaning and the understanding of The reading of your poem.
-Good use of alliteration In the words "more mature measure".
-Also there was a good use of metaphors As in "For this cosmic riddle
reeling for OUR pleasure; if you think your part is little, take a more mature measure!" Which I thought was a good metaphor.
-I like to use of the words that you coined some-nothingness and some-wheneverWhich I would've probably hyphenated.
-Thanks so much for sharing and take care and have a good one especially with all those that you love and care for dearly.
Alex
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
-
Thank-you for the insightful and descriptive comments. It is through the eyes of my reviewers that I am able to more fully understand a lot of the hidden meanings behind my writing; and realize exactly how it is being perceived.
I really appreciate your continued support.
Blessings,
Brother Badger
-
Cheers, Brother Badger; you are so very welcome, and take care and have a good one. Yes, I do believe reviews of the heart of a person's writing of what they're trying to get across and are explained by the root reviewer's.
Alex
Comment from Pantygynt
A brave and quite beautiful attempt tan amalgamation of poetry with science. The two do not always achieve a happy relationship but you have managed that so well in this piece of verse that owes much to your songwriting background.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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A brave and quite beautiful attempt tan amalgamation of poetry with science. The two do not always achieve a happy relationship but you have managed that so well in this piece of verse that owes much to your songwriting background.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
-
Thank-you for the insightful and descriptive comments. It is through the eyes of my reviewers that I am able to more fully understand a lot of the hidden meanings behind my writing; and realize exactly how it is being perceived.
I really appreciate your continued support.
Blessings,
Brother Badger
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Somewhere, Time and Time Again", is an extremely well-written and spiritually up-lifting piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll keep reading.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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"Somewhere, Time and Time Again", is an extremely well-written and spiritually up-lifting piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll keep reading.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
-
Thank-you for the insightful and descriptive comments. It is through the eyes of my reviewers that I am able to more fully understand a lot of the hidden meanings behind my writing; and realize exactly how it is being perceived.
I really appreciate your continued support.
Blessings,
Brother Badger
Brother Badger,
You're more than welcome.
Take care and bless you the Duchess
Comment from Oatmeal
Badger_29,
Thoughts are expressed and described well. Your arrangement here is very creative. Well chosen words are excellent. The theme is strong. Your feelings are expressed well. Your arrangement looks very nice. The flow is smooth.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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Badger_29,
Thoughts are expressed and described well. Your arrangement here is very creative. Well chosen words are excellent. The theme is strong. Your feelings are expressed well. Your arrangement looks very nice. The flow is smooth.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 06-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
-
Thank-you for the insightful and descriptive comments. It is through the eyes of my reviewers that I am able to more fully understand a lot of the hidden meanings behind my writing; and realize exactly how it is being perceived.
I really appreciate your continued support.
Blessings,
Brother Badger
Comment from Teri7
This is a very interesting poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery you have used on this work. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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This is a very interesting poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery you have used on this work. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 06-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
-
Thank-you for the insightful and descriptive comments. It is through the eyes of my reviewers that I am able to more fully understand a lot of the hidden meanings behind my writing; and realize exactly how it is being perceived.
I really appreciate your continued support.
Blessings,
Brother Badger
Comment from Zinnia48
I appreciated your theme that encourages us to sieze the day: our day, AND I admire the way you crafted our journey from birth to death. . Thanks! CAroline
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
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I appreciated your theme that encourages us to sieze the day: our day, AND I admire the way you crafted our journey from birth to death. . Thanks! CAroline
Comment Written 06-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
-
Thank-you for the insightful and descriptive comments. It is through the eyes of my reviewers that I am able to more fully understand a lot of the hidden meanings behind my writing; and realize exactly how it is being perceived.
I really appreciate your continued support.
Blessings,
Brother Badger
Comment from beizanten
Interesting first paragraph. What do to experience "the high" mean? Very well written. What do Ode mean. This deserve 5 stars. Great line:
To ponder the enormity,
of "before", and "after".
Think not with enmity,
try a little laughter!
For this cosmic riddle
reeling for OUR pleasure;
if you think your part is little,
take a more
mature measure!
Pretty powerful ending
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
|
Interesting first paragraph. What do to experience "the high" mean? Very well written. What do Ode mean. This deserve 5 stars. Great line:
To ponder the enormity,
of "before", and "after".
Think not with enmity,
try a little laughter!
For this cosmic riddle
reeling for OUR pleasure;
if you think your part is little,
take a more
mature measure!
Pretty powerful ending
Comment Written 06-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
-
To experience the high of life, as in when someone claims that they are "high" on life. An Ode is a story, or tale.
Thank-you for the insightful and descriptive comments. It is through the eyes of my reviewers that I am able to more fully understand a lot of the hidden meanings behind my writing; and realize exactly how it is being perceived.
I really appreciate your continued support.
Blessings,
Brother Badger
Comment from rama devi
Second review
Good job on the edits. I love this poem! Just a couple more minor things...
To ponder the enormity,
of before, and after
think not with enmity-
try a little laughter!
Spaggy and choppy with wrong comma choices. Should be:
To ponder the enormity
of before and after,
think not with enmity-
try a little laughter!
For this cosmic riddle(,)
reeling for OUR pleasure,
LOVE THIS STANZA and clever slant rhymes:
what exactly will transpire
when we do go from this flesh:
we'll go even higher-
space-time-fabric-enmeshed.
Enjoyed reading this again!
First review
I love this free verse philosophical, reflective write! It has great potential to be a six star piece but needs fine tuning, especially when it comes to punctuation and capitalization.
NOTES:
To live, then die
seems so significant;
to experience "the high",
what more could you want?
Excellent opening tone and substance. Drew me in. Nice medley fo S and soft C sounds too.
*
This poem is an "Ode", (no comma)
to ALL that has
led up to this day.
Well voiced:
For now is the only
acceptable time;
yesterday was lonely,
tomorrow, sublime.
Love this whimsy:
To ponder the enormity,
of "before", and "after".
Think not with enmity,
try a little laughter!
However, I do have some suggestions for your consideration for alternative punctuation choices. For example, it reads as one sentence, not two. Also, the quote marks seem unnecessary and distracting to me. Also the comma is inaccurate in line one...so also feels distracting and choppy. Suggestions:
To ponder the enormity
of before, and after,
think not with enmity--
try a little laughter!
Love the voicing here. Note one suggestion:
For this cosmic riddle
reeling for OUR pleasure;(,)
if you think your part is little,
take a more
mature measure!
Enjoyed the alliteration of M there!
*
But,(no ,) we must earn
our timely rewards,(; or . or --)
we all must learn
that we cannot afford:(no :)
Nice rhyme medley here:
to approach reality
with apathy,
for what will be, will be.
T(t)hat you reap what you sow!
And, if you work hard and well;(,)
grasp ahold (a hold) of the oar, and
~row~
and then
time,(no ,) and space will tell . . .
what exactly will transpire,(no ,)
when we do go from this flesh;
we'll go even higher,
space/time fabric enmeshed.
Kindly consider these options for the above paragraph:
what exactly will transpire
when we do go from this flesh:
we'll go even higher--
space-time-fabric-enmeshed.
I like this coinage:
into somenothingness . . .
Great single-line stanza:
~Let your spirit roar~
I(i)nto the great beyond
where obscure secrets are told, and
the inhabitants are fond
of their spiritual fold.
Floating
aboding.
This coinage sounds (aboding) forced. It sounds good rad aloud and also sounds forced. Suggest playing around with other options.
Perfect closing note:
Seeing,
being,
freeing~
Enjoyed this immensely. Bravo.
Hope you find my feedback helpful. Would love to see this polished to its best potential...
Warmly,
r d
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
|
Second review
Good job on the edits. I love this poem! Just a couple more minor things...
To ponder the enormity,
of before, and after
think not with enmity-
try a little laughter!
Spaggy and choppy with wrong comma choices. Should be:
To ponder the enormity
of before and after,
think not with enmity-
try a little laughter!
For this cosmic riddle(,)
reeling for OUR pleasure,
LOVE THIS STANZA and clever slant rhymes:
what exactly will transpire
when we do go from this flesh:
we'll go even higher-
space-time-fabric-enmeshed.
Enjoyed reading this again!
First review
I love this free verse philosophical, reflective write! It has great potential to be a six star piece but needs fine tuning, especially when it comes to punctuation and capitalization.
NOTES:
To live, then die
seems so significant;
to experience "the high",
what more could you want?
Excellent opening tone and substance. Drew me in. Nice medley fo S and soft C sounds too.
*
This poem is an "Ode", (no comma)
to ALL that has
led up to this day.
Well voiced:
For now is the only
acceptable time;
yesterday was lonely,
tomorrow, sublime.
Love this whimsy:
To ponder the enormity,
of "before", and "after".
Think not with enmity,
try a little laughter!
However, I do have some suggestions for your consideration for alternative punctuation choices. For example, it reads as one sentence, not two. Also, the quote marks seem unnecessary and distracting to me. Also the comma is inaccurate in line one...so also feels distracting and choppy. Suggestions:
To ponder the enormity
of before, and after,
think not with enmity--
try a little laughter!
Love the voicing here. Note one suggestion:
For this cosmic riddle
reeling for OUR pleasure;(,)
if you think your part is little,
take a more
mature measure!
Enjoyed the alliteration of M there!
*
But,(no ,) we must earn
our timely rewards,(; or . or --)
we all must learn
that we cannot afford:(no :)
Nice rhyme medley here:
to approach reality
with apathy,
for what will be, will be.
T(t)hat you reap what you sow!
And, if you work hard and well;(,)
grasp ahold (a hold) of the oar, and
~row~
and then
time,(no ,) and space will tell . . .
what exactly will transpire,(no ,)
when we do go from this flesh;
we'll go even higher,
space/time fabric enmeshed.
Kindly consider these options for the above paragraph:
what exactly will transpire
when we do go from this flesh:
we'll go even higher--
space-time-fabric-enmeshed.
I like this coinage:
into somenothingness . . .
Great single-line stanza:
~Let your spirit roar~
I(i)nto the great beyond
where obscure secrets are told, and
the inhabitants are fond
of their spiritual fold.
Floating
aboding.
This coinage sounds (aboding) forced. It sounds good rad aloud and also sounds forced. Suggest playing around with other options.
Perfect closing note:
Seeing,
being,
freeing~
Enjoyed this immensely. Bravo.
Hope you find my feedback helpful. Would love to see this polished to its best potential...
Warmly,
r d
Comment Written 06-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2017
-
Yes, I do always get a great deal of assistance from your very thorough reviews. I cannot begin to tell you how sincerely grateful I am to get your help; I am honored. Your advice is excellent, and I am going to edit. I will let you know when it is complete.
Thank-you for the insightful and descriptive comments. It is through the eyes of my reviewers that I am able to more fully understand a lot of the hidden meanings behind my writing; and realize exactly how it is being perceived.
I really appreciate your continued support.
Blessings,
Brother Badger
-
I have edited, and would greatly appreciate your thoughts on the edit. Thanks again !
-
Thanks for your very kind and gracious response, Brother Badger. I'll revisit shortl...look for a second review in a few minutes. Blessings, rd
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See second review...done! :-)
