Comment from Curly Girly

Excellent

Mmm... this makes me wonder, how does one ever 'feel' like a million bucks ...
Mrs. P: You must feel like a million bucks today, Bill.
Me: Do I look green and wrinkled?

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2017

Thanks for reviewing.

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Your story seems to have two themes: 1) the retirement teacher's party and/but 2) author's note tells a totally different story of being in hell. It took me a while to figure this out.

Where the two stories unite is within your piece with the comment, "on your heads." I think the story would have been better if that part was left out (being in hell).

The most amusing part to me was the note on the sleeve which is so appropriate for teachers. Your piece doesn't say that this is biographical, but assuming it is and you really did retire from teaching--congratulations. Retirement is fantastic. Marilyn

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2017

I wrote this the day before my retirement party. The actual party was much better. The line, "back on your heads" is a familiar term to Marines. I felt I needed to explain it here. Teaching school is far from being hell, but as in every job, we tend to exaggerate the down sides.

reply by BeasPeas on 16-Jun-2017

Congratulations on your retirement. You will love it. I don't know what would be harder--the Marines or teaching.

My son and son-in-law were in the Marines--as they say always a Marine. I'm very proud of them both.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

This is such quirky humor, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. Was the story in the notes the background for this? Humorous dialog - almost South Park-ish but I've only seen parts of those.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2017

I retired on Wednesday and I wrote a skit prior to that. The actual get-together was much better.

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Bill, congratulations on your retirement. Your sense of humour is hilarious and so is the script. So you were in the Marines and a teacher? I didn't know the joke. I'm still laughing and see where your inspiration came from. I'm still chuckling from your splendid write. All the best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2017

Thank you, Ulla. Retirement has been great so far. Now for the third day.

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

I'm going to guess you were a teacher? You had a varied career as a Marine, a teacher, and a stupendous writer (the last is not entirely a joke; rather it's a joke in its timing, but not in its applicability. I wish I had a touch of your humor!

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 14-Jun-2017

I was a Marine for 22 years and a teacher for fifteen years. I'm retired from both. Now to become the second greatest reviewer on Fanstory and publish funny-named people poems, Pons and Ned scenes, and various and sundry short stories, I am also in competition to be the favorite grandfather.

reply by Jay Squires on 14-Jun-2017

Hahaha, even your replies are hilarious.

Comment from damommy

Excellent

I had to laugh at pinning a note to your sleeve. Typical teacher.

This is very funny. I like your responses to everyone's good wishes.

I've heard the joke before, but it never ceases to be funny. 8-)

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2017

Thanks, da, for reviewing this. Bill

Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Hi Bill. Congrats of course on the retirement! I did it myself the day after Trump was elected lol. I worked at Kiwibank/NZ Post and my boss said she wanted to give me a party. I politely declined and said nope! I read through some of the reviews and the one that caught me and made me laugh equal to your write was the one that said "or they just show up for a piece of cake." THAT is the truer story methinks. Laughing with you and Enjoy. xoxo Kiwi (deborah)

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2017

Thanks for the good wishes.

Comment from kriver

Exceptional

Hi Bill,
This was really funny
I was really laughing hard
I think you need to lessen the space
between both parts so the reader
will realize they need to read the second part
Otherwise it won't make sense to them.
Anyways, thanks for the great laugh
and Congrats on your retirement
Best regards,
K River

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2017

Thanks, K, for the outstanding review. Bill

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

Your retirement story is quite different from mine. I worked at various jobs for 50 years, most were unpleasant. Some were very enjoyable. The last ten years were pretty good as I was able to pretty much just coast downhill and when I left, I left wearing a big old smile. The people I left behind looked at me with great envy, so much so that two of my former bosses, retired shortly after I did. For me retirement has been a blast.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2017

Thanks, nomi, for reviewing this. My party just ended and it was better than I predicted. Bill

Comment from Poetic Friend

Excellent

Okay, Bill, I am a little green, but I AM SO CURIOUS. I don't get it. Again, it is no reflection of your writing. I am just a little green.

Please enlighten me, for I want to laugh, cry or sigh.

Thank you.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Jun-2017

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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2017

Today, is my last day as a teacher at my school. At eleven o'clock we will have a brief party where some teachers may, or may not show up to shake my hand and say good-bye. These are obligitory happenings that are sometimes peopled by those who are morbidly curious or want some cake. I asked to just fade away, but was told I would be given a party. I hope it is a nice one and nothing like I have described. Being older, most of my contemporaries have preceded me into retirement. Please laugh.

reply by Poetic Friend on 13-Jun-2017

Congratulations, Bill.
I gathered it was a retirement party for a teacher, but I did not get the "heads" line.

I understand about the retirement part. Where I work the retiree gets a retirement party whether they want one or not. I hope yours is pleasant. Congratulations again. Retirement is a milestone in life. Enjoy your permanent vacation.

reply by the author on 13-Jun-2017

A guy died and went to hell. A devil came to him and said there were three choices as to where he would spend eternity. Looking through the first door he saw people on spits screaming as they were roasted. Looking through a second door he watched as others were shrieking while being slowly vivisected and then reassembled to be cut up again. Looking through a third door he saw a thousand people, or so, standing up to their knees in sewerage drinking coffee.
"This is an option?" he asked.
"Yes," said the devil.
"I'll take this one."
Once he was in the knee-high river of crap, he was given a cup of coffee. Just before he could drink it a devil came in and yelled, "Your bi-millennial, ten-minute coffee break is over! Everybody -- back on your heads!"

reply by Poetic Friend on 13-Jun-2017

Okay. Now, I get it. Thank you for the story.