Rosemary for remembrance.
Dying plant contest entry15 total reviews
Comment from hvysmker
Very good, Sanku. Eerily how it resembles one of my older stories (one page) called "Wilting Roses": Nancy lay in pain that Sunday morning. The bottom of hospital machinery limited her view through a nearby window. From a reclining position, she could see only the tops of trees and a cloudless sky. The leaves were sparse though colored by autumn's brush. She missed the flowers in her window-box at home.
A bedside table was almost bare, holding only a metal bedpan and a couple of pink drinking-straws, along with a tiny porcelain giraffe someone had given her. The little girl fondly remembered her flowers, the odor of the soil and the freedom of caring for them.
The hospital had been her home since Spring. She tried to sit up but couldn't manage, elbows tightening the pillow into painful lumps. Nancy could barely raise a hand to wipe unbidden tears from reddened eyes. Tears triggered by memories of better times, laughing and playing at school, romping freely around the yard with her Fred, her dog.
"How're you doin', Princess," a nurse asked on entering the room, "I'll bet you a million dollars you want breakfast this morning? How about it, honey?"
"I don't think so, Nora," Nancy whispered with a forced smile. "I'm so weak this morning. Can you fluff up my pillow, please Nora?"
The nurse fluffed up the lumpy pillow while holding up Nancy's heavy head.
"I have a surprise for you, honey." She left and returned with a large vase filled with roses. "I found them in an empty room. They're all yours. Are you in pain, Princess?" Nora placed them on the windowsill.
"Uh, huh. My tummy hurts."
Nancy had been in an automobile accident. Her parents and brother were killed by a drunk driver. Orphaned with no known relatives, she'd had no visitors and would soon be gone herself. Spinal and other internal injuries not repairable, he conditions were expected to rapidly worsen.
The nurse stopped for a moment to change IV bottles, putting on a stronger dose for increased pain. Soon, under its influence, the little girl nodded off.
She slept until the next morning. The first thing Nancy saw when opening her eyes were the roses framed in her window, much like in her window-box at home. The red tops of the roses seemed to merge with the bottom of brown and yellow leaves on a tree outside. A sunbeam lightly caressed the flowers, highlighting streaks of crimson through the tops of their pedals.
The sick little girl was so filled with pain killer that the scene seemed surrealistic in its beauty, a whitish haze forming around their edges. She tried to rub her eyes but couldn't move her arm that morning. Even so, Nancy felt light-headed and at peace. Slowly, she let heavy eyelids settle, forever, without noticing the fading, wilting, of the roses.
Charlie
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
  |
Very good, Sanku. Eerily how it resembles one of my older stories (one page) called "Wilting Roses": Nancy lay in pain that Sunday morning. The bottom of hospital machinery limited her view through a nearby window. From a reclining position, she could see only the tops of trees and a cloudless sky. The leaves were sparse though colored by autumn's brush. She missed the flowers in her window-box at home.
A bedside table was almost bare, holding only a metal bedpan and a couple of pink drinking-straws, along with a tiny porcelain giraffe someone had given her. The little girl fondly remembered her flowers, the odor of the soil and the freedom of caring for them.
The hospital had been her home since Spring. She tried to sit up but couldn't manage, elbows tightening the pillow into painful lumps. Nancy could barely raise a hand to wipe unbidden tears from reddened eyes. Tears triggered by memories of better times, laughing and playing at school, romping freely around the yard with her Fred, her dog.
"How're you doin', Princess," a nurse asked on entering the room, "I'll bet you a million dollars you want breakfast this morning? How about it, honey?"
"I don't think so, Nora," Nancy whispered with a forced smile. "I'm so weak this morning. Can you fluff up my pillow, please Nora?"
The nurse fluffed up the lumpy pillow while holding up Nancy's heavy head.
"I have a surprise for you, honey." She left and returned with a large vase filled with roses. "I found them in an empty room. They're all yours. Are you in pain, Princess?" Nora placed them on the windowsill.
"Uh, huh. My tummy hurts."
Nancy had been in an automobile accident. Her parents and brother were killed by a drunk driver. Orphaned with no known relatives, she'd had no visitors and would soon be gone herself. Spinal and other internal injuries not repairable, he conditions were expected to rapidly worsen.
The nurse stopped for a moment to change IV bottles, putting on a stronger dose for increased pain. Soon, under its influence, the little girl nodded off.
She slept until the next morning. The first thing Nancy saw when opening her eyes were the roses framed in her window, much like in her window-box at home. The red tops of the roses seemed to merge with the bottom of brown and yellow leaves on a tree outside. A sunbeam lightly caressed the flowers, highlighting streaks of crimson through the tops of their pedals.
The sick little girl was so filled with pain killer that the scene seemed surrealistic in its beauty, a whitish haze forming around their edges. She tried to rub her eyes but couldn't move her arm that morning. Even so, Nancy felt light-headed and at peace. Slowly, she let heavy eyelids settle, forever, without noticing the fading, wilting, of the roses.
Charlie
Comment Written 26-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
-
Thank you very much. I have not come across your posts. I liked your story very much .I wrote my story for the contest. I was wondering what to tell a dying plant and how to tell it can not die.
Then it just came. Mathew is based on a widower I know. But his wife's name was not Rosemary.I chose the name because the flower's connection . I would like to fan you.
Though I don't write much. I am neck deep in my duties. But When ever i get time i read.Ppromoting here is a big problem .I find it very difficult to work up member cents.So I get max 10 reviews.
Comment from kathleenspalding
Very nice bittersweet story is excellent for the prompt. Congratulations on your win! Well deserved. One question - At the end, did you want the 'You know what I'm hoping....part in quotes?
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
 |
Very nice bittersweet story is excellent for the prompt. Congratulations on your win! Well deserved. One question - At the end, did you want the 'You know what I'm hoping....part in quotes?
Comment Written 04-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
-
Thank you very much.
-
You're welcome
Comment from BeasPeas
Congratulations on winning the contest with this heartwarming entry. I enjoyed reading it, although I did miss the voting. I talk to my plants all the time. It works! Marilyn
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
|
Congratulations on winning the contest with this heartwarming entry. I enjoyed reading it, although I did miss the voting. I talk to my plants all the time. It works! Marilyn
Comment Written 03-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
-
Thank you
Comment from JDRBAR
Gee, how come the plant has to perk up and stay with him until he dies? Then who'll look after the plant? That's a pretty tall order for a plant to take on. At least offer the plant some kind of reassuring reward for sticking it out with you.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
|
Gee, how come the plant has to perk up and stay with him until he dies? Then who'll look after the plant? That's a pretty tall order for a plant to take on. At least offer the plant some kind of reassuring reward for sticking it out with you.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
-
Thank you very much.Perhaps his children or kind neighbours.
Comment from Dean Kuch
You know what I am hoping?that That one morning I will drink my tea with you and eat my Marie-English Marie-biscuits and then quietly go...just like her. ... The word "That" needs to be capitalized here, Anonymous Author ...
Nice story, very tender... like a dying houseplant.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
|
You know what I am hoping?
Nice story, very tender... like a dying houseplant.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
-
Thank you very much. I feel like a cat who got the cream because i won the contest (first time for me)
-
Congratulations.
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, a wonderfully sensitive story, that I simply had to review before continuing with the voting poll - I wept as I read. It was that moving and emotionally connecting. Thank you for a superb and emotionally rendered read...
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
|
In my opinion, a wonderfully sensitive story, that I simply had to review before continuing with the voting poll - I wept as I read. It was that moving and emotionally connecting. Thank you for a superb and emotionally rendered read...
Comment Written 02-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
-
Thank you once again for this honour.
-
You are indeed welcome, Sanku...Eve
Comment from Lindagail Hall
A lovely story you had me in your conversation from start to end, liked the way that you told your memories bringing in your family the smiles you had through memories all because of a plant. Great title good word choice. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
|
A lovely story you had me in your conversation from start to end, liked the way that you told your memories bringing in your family the smiles you had through memories all because of a plant. Great title good word choice. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from WalkerMan
Yes, sometimes a person does sense time is running out, without even knowing why, and will do things like bring home this plant to provide some solace for a loved one doomed to grief. It is not unreasonable to talk to plants either, as breathing on them in the process gives them an abundance of carbon dioxide needed for growth. Also, it has been known for decades that plants do respond positively to care and loving gestures, just as they shrink away from loud noise or shrivel up when neglected, even if well watered and nourished. So, as this man has been caring well for the rosemary plant for three years, is its wilting now based on knowing what he does not about his future and thus the plant's prospects for continuing care? Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
|
Yes, sometimes a person does sense time is running out, without even knowing why, and will do things like bring home this plant to provide some solace for a loved one doomed to grief. It is not unreasonable to talk to plants either, as breathing on them in the process gives them an abundance of carbon dioxide needed for growth. Also, it has been known for decades that plants do respond positively to care and loving gestures, just as they shrink away from loud noise or shrivel up when neglected, even if well watered and nourished. So, as this man has been caring well for the rosemary plant for three years, is its wilting now based on knowing what he does not about his future and thus the plant's prospects for continuing care? Well done.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
-
Thank you very much for throwing scientific light on that belief .i nev er thought about this of course we breathe out Co2
-
You are welcome. I really like your thoughtful post. -- Mike
Comment from smerryman3
This was wonderful. You really infused a strong narrative, strong emotion, and sincerity into an off beat topic. I think you jabe a great shot at winning the contest. The ending was superb.
I noticed a few typos:
"Wondering why she (WAS) quoting Hamlet."
"This plant signifies..." needs the period inside the quotes.
One of the Mrs. on Mrs. Raza needs a period.
I think your dialogue needs to start with a capital letter.
"What Am I saying, Rosemary is..."
Do you mean " What I am saying, Rosemary is..."
Overall, fantastic work!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
|
This was wonderful. You really infused a strong narrative, strong emotion, and sincerity into an off beat topic. I think you jabe a great shot at winning the contest. The ending was superb.
I noticed a few typos:
"Wondering why she (WAS) quoting Hamlet."
"This plant signifies..." needs the period inside the quotes.
One of the Mrs. on Mrs. Raza needs a period.
I think your dialogue needs to start with a capital letter.
"What Am I saying, Rosemary is..."
Do you mean " What I am saying, Rosemary is..."
Overall, fantastic work!
Comment Written 01-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
-
thank you vry much for taking the trouble of pointing out all the issues. i have corrected them
Comment from crich
Plants are so often associated with a loved one's death. You did a remarkable job to answer the writing prompt by showing us why this little plant should live. ""I don't want to be alone." Mathew confessed to the plant." That line says it all. Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
|
Plants are so often associated with a loved one's death. You did a remarkable job to answer the writing prompt by showing us why this little plant should live. ""I don't want to be alone." Mathew confessed to the plant." That line says it all. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2017
-
Thank you very much and i am very happy you liked my story
