From out of the Grayness
Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "Through this valley"Reaching from the gray areas to understand life
30 total reviews
Comment from Ann Philips
I really liked this poem very much. I feel the fear and tension. There is also determination and a belief that is powerfully entwined. I like the rhyme scheme, although the "stone, worn, alone" line endings threw me off a little.
I found much to like in the poem. The following lines are among my favorites: "As winds howl harsh.. And death seems near". The imagery is strong and the alliteration contributes well to the tone.
The last four lines are probably my least favorite portion of the poem. I would guess that you might want to distinguish those four lines from the lines and style above. It seemed too different for me and I had a hard time integrating those lines with the rest of the poem.
I would have enjoyed a mountain image to go with this. (I'm unable to visualise so that may explain the need.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2017
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I really liked this poem very much. I feel the fear and tension. There is also determination and a belief that is powerfully entwined. I like the rhyme scheme, although the "stone, worn, alone" line endings threw me off a little.
I found much to like in the poem. The following lines are among my favorites: "As winds howl harsh.. And death seems near". The imagery is strong and the alliteration contributes well to the tone.
The last four lines are probably my least favorite portion of the poem. I would guess that you might want to distinguish those four lines from the lines and style above. It seemed too different for me and I had a hard time integrating those lines with the rest of the poem.
I would have enjoyed a mountain image to go with this. (I'm unable to visualise so that may explain the need.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much Ann, for your helpful and meaningful comments and oh yes, the generous stars. So glad to meet you and hope to see you often! Blessings! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
Comment from ronnie k
"Lord tell me how to stave this fear, my knees are raw"
"My hands are worn, from prayer alone" How are what more can one say in reviewing this gem, these lines alone did the work.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2017
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"Lord tell me how to stave this fear, my knees are raw"
"My hands are worn, from prayer alone" How are what more can one say in reviewing this gem, these lines alone did the work.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2017
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Thank you so much Ronnie k, for this lovely review and stars. Your message is truly inspiring for which I am deeply grateful! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
Comment from Poetic Friend
My, His Grayness, skiing itself is a dangerous sport, why would you ski alone? Well, you were not alone, you had the Lord. Thank God, the Heavenly Father was with you during this ordeal.
Your well-written poem tells the story well. I felt your anxiousness and fear. Yet, there was a calmness as you relied upon the Heavenly Father.
Thank you for this story.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2017
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My, His Grayness, skiing itself is a dangerous sport, why would you ski alone? Well, you were not alone, you had the Lord. Thank God, the Heavenly Father was with you during this ordeal.
Your well-written poem tells the story well. I felt your anxiousness and fear. Yet, there was a calmness as you relied upon the Heavenly Father.
Thank you for this story.
Comment Written 03-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2017
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Well indeed, you are my new Poetic Friend! Thanks so much for this lovely review and stars for which I'm sincerely grateful. Blessings always; HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
Comment from Pquack
Beautifully written. I have never been skiing but you took me to the slopes. Very nice. Made me feel the love of the sport. Please write on ð???
reply by the author on 29-May-2017
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Beautifully written. I have never been skiing but you took me to the slopes. Very nice. Made me feel the love of the sport. Please write on ð???
Comment Written 28-May-2017
reply by the author on 29-May-2017
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Nice to meet you Pquack, and thanks for the generous stars and kind review. If you ever do go skiing, DON'T GO ALONE! the only one that will be there for sure is God Almighty and He's really busy all the time! But still won't let you down! Blessings and stay tuned! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
Comment from royowen
I attended my home fellowship yesterday, dear Vance, and we encouraged each other in the Lord, about God's unbreakable promises, His promise to "never leave us nor forsake us." Deuteronomy 31:6,Hebrews 13:5. So take strength my brother. Beautifully written a particularly humble, warm plea, which Godvhas already answered, be encouraged, this eloquent rhyming prayer is wonderfully written. Well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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I attended my home fellowship yesterday, dear Vance, and we encouraged each other in the Lord, about God's unbreakable promises, His promise to "never leave us nor forsake us." Deuteronomy 31:6,Hebrews 13:5. So take strength my brother. Beautifully written a particularly humble, warm plea, which Godvhas already answered, be encouraged, this eloquent rhyming prayer is wonderfully written. Well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 28-May-2017
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Thanks so very much Roy, for this really lovely and inspiring review! As I get older, each day, I find more and more reasons to thank GOD each day! I'm working on a new writing entitled "The Angel Ranch" which is inspired by God's gift to me of a tiny little teacup Yorkie Puppy named "Bitsy" who never leaves my side..NEVER!. I'm sure she is a Guardian Angel and has taught me the true meaning of GRATITUDE for I cannot thank GOD enough for the blessings she brings in these difficult days of aging. I want you to know that I am also deeply grateful for your friendship and brotherness, and love to hear from you always! Blessings and thanks always! Vance
Comment from Cass Carlton
I like this. In its short lines there is a note of panic at being out in the cold and the dark alone. The wind has risen, the snow is building and fear is mounting. The lone skier knows how close he is to mortal danger and turns to prayer to get him through
to safety. I can almost see the faint twinkling light of the ski lodge that shows him the way home. Well done Hot chocolate all round. Cheers Cass
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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I like this. In its short lines there is a note of panic at being out in the cold and the dark alone. The wind has risen, the snow is building and fear is mounting. The lone skier knows how close he is to mortal danger and turns to prayer to get him through
to safety. I can almost see the faint twinkling light of the ski lodge that shows him the way home. Well done Hot chocolate all round. Cheers Cass
Comment Written 28-May-2017
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Thanks so much, Cass, for the Great review and stars! And also for the Hot Chocolate! I missed it that day and went straight for the Crown Royal and dozen eggs! What a lesson to never forget!!. I really appreciate your generous stars and fine review! So Glad to meet you also, and hope to see you again soon. HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
Comment from MissMerri
I feel sorry I don't get out much these days, out to your portfolio or many others for that matter, because I'm sure I'm missing a lot of good things I'd like to be reading. This is a perfect example. I enjoyed this poem so much, but it made me want to hear the whole story behind it. How did the trip go? Where were you? Was it night? My insatiable curiosity demands more. ;p Perhaps you could tell the story in a personal essay or something... but back to your poem. I thought it was excellent in every way, rhymes and meaning and flow, all perfect. I'm so glad I found this today. I'm truly sorry I don't visit more often. Hugs, MM
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
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I feel sorry I don't get out much these days, out to your portfolio or many others for that matter, because I'm sure I'm missing a lot of good things I'd like to be reading. This is a perfect example. I enjoyed this poem so much, but it made me want to hear the whole story behind it. How did the trip go? Where were you? Was it night? My insatiable curiosity demands more. ;p Perhaps you could tell the story in a personal essay or something... but back to your poem. I thought it was excellent in every way, rhymes and meaning and flow, all perfect. I'm so glad I found this today. I'm truly sorry I don't visit more often. Hugs, MM
Comment Written 26-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
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Dear MM: This happened many years ago when I was young and fearless. I was to meet my Australian Clients for a ski trip in the western Rockies. They did not show up on schedule, so I went off on my own without fear of my skiing skills. The problem was, a dramatic change of weather that dumped heavily and fast and left me in a dark and very cold canyon. Certainly, I will never forget the blessing of God leading me out of there and teaching me the true meaning of the word 'GRAITITUDE"! It Is an experience I wanted to share to lead others to the power of prayer. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for your lovely words and stars! Love and Hugs always: Vance
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Thank you for sharing the whole story with me, Vance. That was a most important lesson you learned, and I'm so thankful you were okay. God does answer prayer! I don't doubt that for a minute. Hugs, MM
Comment from val fitchie
love the strict adherence to syllable meter-what's amazing is the last two lines that break the pattern of all the preceding 3 or 4 syllable lines ....these last two lines are 6 and then 5 syllables (their "crowdedness" signifies a "finality" of the text and the artistic or philosophical "ta da" moment -and if that weren't satisfying enough, the going from 6 syllables to 5 even MORE SO emphasizes this) wether or not you CONSCIOUSLY did this is not important, for your mind is complete affinity with the written word....if this really was about skiing, it's an excellent dark satire-excellant no matter what, of course
reply by the author on 25-May-2017
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love the strict adherence to syllable meter-what's amazing is the last two lines that break the pattern of all the preceding 3 or 4 syllable lines ....these last two lines are 6 and then 5 syllables (their "crowdedness" signifies a "finality" of the text and the artistic or philosophical "ta da" moment -and if that weren't satisfying enough, the going from 6 syllables to 5 even MORE SO emphasizes this) wether or not you CONSCIOUSLY did this is not important, for your mind is complete affinity with the written word....if this really was about skiing, it's an excellent dark satire-excellant no matter what, of course
Comment Written 21-May-2017
reply by the author on 25-May-2017
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Thank you val, as always for your generous and meaningful review! It's always a delight to hear from you! Blessings! Vance
Comment from apky
You got this one spot on, Vance.
It's way past middle of May but I could
feel the chill of those winter months on
the Bavarian Alps...
reply by the author on 25-May-2017
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You got this one spot on, Vance.
It's way past middle of May but I could
feel the chill of those winter months on
the Bavarian Alps...
Comment Written 21-May-2017
reply by the author on 25-May-2017
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Thanks so much apky, for your kind review and stars. They are much appreciated and I hope to see you again soon! HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
Comment from alf collier
LOL, I couldn't help but smile, having been in similar circumstances!!! Oh the joy of a warming drink and to hear another voice!!! Great write...captured that sense of aloneness perfectly!!
reply by the author on 25-May-2017
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LOL, I couldn't help but smile, having been in similar circumstances!!! Oh the joy of a warming drink and to hear another voice!!! Great write...captured that sense of aloneness perfectly!!
Comment Written 21-May-2017
reply by the author on 25-May-2017
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Thank you alf, for your kind review and stars! It was a lesson I wanted to share for those "BRAVE" ones out there who might have some wild ideas... I learned my lesson!! All the best! Vance
