My Book of Poems 2010-2017
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Ease the Pain"a collection of my poetry
53 total reviews
Comment from estory
Great job with the form, here. The poem unwinds in these nicely tuned lines, full of music and rhythm, and posing these questions of what true love really means. It means giving of yourself, setting that table for other people, and you spread the tablecloth beautifully for our eyes to read. estory
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Great job with the form, here. The poem unwinds in these nicely tuned lines, full of music and rhythm, and posing these questions of what true love really means. It means giving of yourself, setting that table for other people, and you spread the tablecloth beautifully for our eyes to read. estory
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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thank you so much for this lovely review. I like the way you took the imagery and made it your own - I always like your reviews,
~patty~
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A well-written Etheree poem, Patty -
your words expressing your emotions
and unanswered questions.
Only real love can fill the huge void they feel,
set a beautiful table and serve them this meal.
It seems to me that you are doing all you can do for the present -
be there to support and listen when needed. I know, as mothers,
we need to do more, but our hands are tied and we can only be
there for our children, when they are ready.
Margaret
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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A well-written Etheree poem, Patty -
your words expressing your emotions
and unanswered questions.
Only real love can fill the huge void they feel,
set a beautiful table and serve them this meal.
It seems to me that you are doing all you can do for the present -
be there to support and listen when needed. I know, as mothers,
we need to do more, but our hands are tied and we can only be
there for our children, when they are ready.
Margaret
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi Margaret; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. I'm doing much better today - writing this poem yesterday helped me to sort out a great deal of my feelings,
~patty~
Comment from dmt1967
I like the abstract picture and the words and the way they are formulated on the page. The poem is very well-written and it tells the story of a broken heart. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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I like the abstract picture and the words and the way they are formulated on the page. The poem is very well-written and it tells the story of a broken heart. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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thank you for stopping by to read and review this poem. I appreciate your kind words and insight,
~patty~
Comment from MelB
A well written Etheree poem. It is very hard to watch a loved one in pain and feel helpless to fix it. Only God can fix the pain they feel, but they have to allow it.
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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A well written Etheree poem. It is very hard to watch a loved one in pain and feel helpless to fix it. Only God can fix the pain they feel, but they have to allow it.
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi Mel; thank you so much for reading and reviewing this poem. I appreciate your understanding and kind words,
~patty~
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You're welcome.
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning, Patty
Yes, one must remain supportive of their child. It must be quite difficult to do so at times, especially when you desperately want your child to realize the danger they are in.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Good morning, Patty
Yes, one must remain supportive of their child. It must be quite difficult to do so at times, especially when you desperately want your child to realize the danger they are in.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi again, Ray; thank you for reading and reviewing this poem. I had a good time working with the poetic form, and the thoughts were swirling through my head and best expressed through poetry. I appreciate your kind words,
~patty~
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Fill their need, not the on in your head. -
I think for me that line is the linch pin of this duodec-poem Patty. It doesn't matter what you want, what you wish for, what is important is what their needs are. Your emotions are very nicely expressed in this poem. Well done,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Fill their need, not the on in your head. -
I think for me that line is the linch pin of this duodec-poem Patty. It doesn't matter what you want, what you wish for, what is important is what their needs are. Your emotions are very nicely expressed in this poem. Well done,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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thank you so much for your lovely review of this poem. I loved the challenge of the poetic form and it helped me to put things in perspective,
~patty~
Comment from Thal1959
I am of two minds about this one, Patty. The overall theme and sentiments are fine, though I usually see the rhyming lines grouped in the last six lines. Also, "real space, real time, true grace, real space," the repetition of the words "real space" stand out. I am not saying this is wrong, just that it draws attention.
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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I am of two minds about this one, Patty. The overall theme and sentiments are fine, though I usually see the rhyming lines grouped in the last six lines. Also, "real space, real time, true grace, real space," the repetition of the words "real space" stand out. I am not saying this is wrong, just that it draws attention.
Comment Written 17-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi; thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate your critique - I wasn't sure 'where' the rhyming lines should be, so...
~patty~
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You're welcome, Patty. No problem, they might be located anywhere as a variation - I don't know.
Comment from Vijay Kumar V
Wah, These are beautiful phrases, "How
on earth
can one live
with loved one's pain?
From his very birth
true love has flowed like rain". I have loved the imagery all through the length. Have a great day. Namaste
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Wah, These are beautiful phrases, "How
on earth
can one live
with loved one's pain?
From his very birth
true love has flowed like rain". I have loved the imagery all through the length. Have a great day. Namaste
Comment Written 16-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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thank you so much for reading and reviewing this piece. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and I appreciate your kind words,
~patty~
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written Duodec-liner poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and great imagery. I found one thing that might be a nit or may not be, but I enjoyed this very much!
real space, real time, true grace, real space.
did you mean to put real space in at the first and last of this line?
Great job! Teri
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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This is a very well written Duodec-liner poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive wording and great imagery. I found one thing that might be a nit or may not be, but I enjoyed this very much!
real space, real time, true grace, real space.
did you mean to put real space in at the first and last of this line?
Great job! Teri
Comment Written 16-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi Teri; thank you for catching the nit - I went and changed that line. I so appreciate your time to read and review. Your warm words of encouragement mean a great deal to me,
~patty~
Comment from Sankey
Clever poem. I am still not getting into all these different formulas of poetry. A great message and lovely artwork. Are we friends on Facebook. Had a new friend today, a lady and wondered if she was you uder another name?
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Clever poem. I am still not getting into all these different formulas of poetry. A great message and lovely artwork. Are we friends on Facebook. Had a new friend today, a lady and wondered if she was you uder another name?
Comment Written 16-May-2017
reply by the author on 17-May-2017
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Hi; I'm not on Facebook much these days - back in pre-voting season, it got way too political. My children send pictures of my grandbabies via Instagram, so there's really little reason to go to Facebook anymore.
Thank you for your warm review of this poem. Working with these different poetic forms is quite the challenge, and they allow me to channel my thoughts,
~patty~
