My Book of Poems 2010-2017
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Ease the Pain"a collection of my poetry
53 total reviews
Comment from planetjanet
This is a really good Duodecliner, and a great question/theme.
Your answer can fit so many circumstances, from foster parent to teenage turbulence to children with disorders - structure, consistency, and love are cultivated at the kitchen table.
The poem follows all the rules, but I can't quite point out any additional literary devices, probably due to the form or the fact that I don't know very many and am not that skilled in literary analysis. I get giddy when I can point out alliteration.
Thank you for sharing :)
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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This is a really good Duodecliner, and a great question/theme.
Your answer can fit so many circumstances, from foster parent to teenage turbulence to children with disorders - structure, consistency, and love are cultivated at the kitchen table.
The poem follows all the rules, but I can't quite point out any additional literary devices, probably due to the form or the fact that I don't know very many and am not that skilled in literary analysis. I get giddy when I can point out alliteration.
Thank you for sharing :)
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Hi; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your kind and thoughtful review. This poetic form was new to me and somewhat daunting, so I'm not sure there is too much more to point out. I'm glad you enjoyed it,
~patty~
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
There are some pains that just can't be eased or fixed. Sometimes the only thing you can do is just be there with them. Maybe even sit in silence and be there for them to lean on. You did a great job
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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There are some pains that just can't be eased or fixed. Sometimes the only thing you can do is just be there with them. Maybe even sit in silence and be there for them to lean on. You did a great job
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I greatly appreciate your kind words about this poem.
~patty~
Comment from Bucketlist
Wow, patty! Another style of poem which challenges writers. I feel bad if this is really your situation. I read it as being a son's pain. Good mothers never give up nurturing.and real love describes our tenacity when times get tough..Thanks for sharing your talent, I enjoyed it very much,
hugs Trisha
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Wow, patty! Another style of poem which challenges writers. I feel bad if this is really your situation. I read it as being a son's pain. Good mothers never give up nurturing.and real love describes our tenacity when times get tough..Thanks for sharing your talent, I enjoyed it very much,
hugs Trisha
Comment Written 19-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Hi Trisha; thank you so much for reading and reviewing this piece. Unfortunately, this is based on the situation with my son. Writing seems to really help. I'm glad you enjoyed this poem - it came from my heart,
~patty~
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I didn't want to pry, but I thought so. Their pain is our pain. I know you write from your heart, as do i? Writing can be very cathartic. Take care.
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I didn't feel like you were prying. It is much easier to share with my FanStorian family than with anybody else. I don't have to see the look on peoples' faces or feel pitied. Thank you so much for reading and caring, ~p~
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I'm glad, I find the same thing. Anytime you need to contact me to offload, you're welcome
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thank you Trisha - I really appreciate that,
~patty~
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Anytime
Comment from Jesse James Doty
What a beautiful sentiment, easing of a loved one's pain. I like the artwork very much. It gives a certain ethereal quality to the poem. I like it all, but I think my favorite line is, "Fill their need, not the one in your head." An insightful, profound statement within a larger conversation. I like the answer you give, "set a beautiful table and serve them this meal." The metaphorical meal of real love, which will fill, the huge void they feel. Well said, and well written. Nice message. Thanks for the enjoyable read.
Take care, Jesse
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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What a beautiful sentiment, easing of a loved one's pain. I like the artwork very much. It gives a certain ethereal quality to the poem. I like it all, but I think my favorite line is, "Fill their need, not the one in your head." An insightful, profound statement within a larger conversation. I like the answer you give, "set a beautiful table and serve them this meal." The metaphorical meal of real love, which will fill, the huge void they feel. Well said, and well written. Nice message. Thanks for the enjoyable read.
Take care, Jesse
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Hi Jesse; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your warm review and kind words of encouragement. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.
~patty~
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You're very welcome, Patty.
Comment from XGoneX
Hi Patty,
Only real love can fill the huge void they feel -- yes, love can heal and have a positive effect in someone, particularly when he/she is lost or struggling. Sometimes our ego and emotions get in the way, but it's a learning process to forget about us and focus on helping the one in need.
The poem has a nice flow and the desired structure.
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Hi Patty,
Only real love can fill the huge void they feel -- yes, love can heal and have a positive effect in someone, particularly when he/she is lost or struggling. Sometimes our ego and emotions get in the way, but it's a learning process to forget about us and focus on helping the one in need.
The poem has a nice flow and the desired structure.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Hi there; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. Your comments are greatly appreciated,
~patty~
Comment from Bichon
Oh what a beautiful poem. Everything flowed very nicely and the cover photograph is amazing too, what a beautiful image for a beautiful poem.
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Oh what a beautiful poem. Everything flowed very nicely and the cover photograph is amazing too, what a beautiful image for a beautiful poem.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Hi Chloe; thank you so much for reading and the wonderful review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and its presentation,
~patty~
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
Really enjoyed reading this format of poetry Patty, you have written with such passion and emotion it just pours from the page, it flows beautifully.
Have a lovely evening
Mitchell
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Really enjoyed reading this format of poetry Patty, you have written with such passion and emotion it just pours from the page, it flows beautifully.
Have a lovely evening
Mitchell
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 18-May-2017
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Hi Mitchell; thank you so much for this wonderful review. You have given me quite the compliment since I believe poetry is all about passion and emotion.
~patty~
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is well written my friend and reads very well sometimes you want to help someone you love through their pain and feel useless when you can't all you can do is be there for them well-done regards Jill
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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This is well written my friend and reads very well sometimes you want to help someone you love through their pain and feel useless when you can't all you can do is be there for them well-done regards Jill
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Hi Jill; thank you so much for your kind review of this poem. I worked through a great deal of emotion in writing this one - I appreciate your comments,
~patty~
Comment from crzypnter
This was a very interesting read and the picture seems to sum up the poem. The wonderful part of poetry is that we can channel or work out things in our writings. Which is what I got from this. God bless
August
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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This was a very interesting read and the picture seems to sum up the poem. The wonderful part of poetry is that we can channel or work out things in our writings. Which is what I got from this. God bless
August
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Hi August; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. As always, your kind words and comments are greatly appreciated. Yes, our writings are a great way to work out things,
~patty~
Comment from Pantygynt
The requirement for the question or opinion and the need for six rhyming line (50% of the whole) makes this so much more of a challenge than the simple syllable stipulated etheree. This has a little more substance. Like the nonet the etheree should ideally end up as an isosceles triangle, but whether this should or not you don't say. As far as that is concerned this is almost there but it is a little irregular in shape.
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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The requirement for the question or opinion and the need for six rhyming line (50% of the whole) makes this so much more of a challenge than the simple syllable stipulated etheree. This has a little more substance. Like the nonet the etheree should ideally end up as an isosceles triangle, but whether this should or not you don't say. As far as that is concerned this is almost there but it is a little irregular in shape.
Comment Written 18-May-2017
reply by the author on 19-May-2017
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Hi Jim; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I was never aware that the nonet and etheree have a requirement to make an isosceles triangle - I imagine that would make the poetic form even more challenging. When I saw the requirements of the Duodecliner here on FanStory - I didn't see anything about that. However, I will build it into my notes - I like a challenge 😀
~patty~
