The Premonition (Flash Fiction)
Mary's Gifts22 total reviews
Comment from Samantha Tonks
I don't always give out five stars, but quite enjoyed this read. I thought overall it was written very well, and held my interest till the end. The only spelling slip was "some baby's" which should read "some babies". I also thought there were a few fragments that could flow better as longer sentences without losing their "punchiness". During the pond scene is an example. I really liked the comparison of WW3 with a video game no one can win. Good luck in the comp.
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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I don't always give out five stars, but quite enjoyed this read. I thought overall it was written very well, and held my interest till the end. The only spelling slip was "some baby's" which should read "some babies". I also thought there were a few fragments that could flow better as longer sentences without losing their "punchiness". During the pond scene is an example. I really liked the comparison of WW3 with a video game no one can win. Good luck in the comp.
Comment Written 12-May-2017
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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thank you so much. It was a fun write and I am afraid of Korea so it gave me a chance to say it.
Comment from Mabaker
Very well written. You handled a horrible event with fine words. What else could she do but remain silent about her gift, the authorities would lock her up in some facility and study her forever. Great talent.
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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Very well written. You handled a horrible event with fine words. What else could she do but remain silent about her gift, the authorities would lock her up in some facility and study her forever. Great talent.
Comment Written 12-May-2017
reply by the author on 13-May-2017
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thank you so much. It was a fun write and I am afraid of Korea so it gave me a chance to say it.
Comment from frogbook
Finally this is the one-I read all the others and didn't care for a one-(don't tell them though-LOL). This was great-original way to get to a long talked about subject. Great detail in these short words and I liked your character very much.
reply by the author on 12-May-2017
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Finally this is the one-I read all the others and didn't care for a one-(don't tell them though-LOL). This was great-original way to get to a long talked about subject. Great detail in these short words and I liked your character very much.
Comment Written 12-May-2017
reply by the author on 12-May-2017
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Thank you Frog, It was a great write and I am afraid of North Korea so it gave me a chance to say it.
Comment from apky
I think you did a very good job in involving a doomsday scenario. In fact you do more than involve one doomsday scenario as well as the end of the world implications as the driving force in your story.
Excellent,
Apky
reply by the author on 11-May-2017
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I think you did a very good job in involving a doomsday scenario. In fact you do more than involve one doomsday scenario as well as the end of the world implications as the driving force in your story.
Excellent,
Apky
Comment Written 11-May-2017
reply by the author on 11-May-2017
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Thank you. I truly do fear Korea. This prompt allowed me to think about it.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Wow! A chilling story. This is great. You have an excellent style and a gift for storytelling. I want to read more of your writing.
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Wow! A chilling story. This is great. You have an excellent style and a gift for storytelling. I want to read more of your writing.
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Thank you so much. I am afraid of Korea and this gave me a format to write about it. It was such a good challenge.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
This is a VERY GOOD read.
The artwork is good. The image shown supports the story.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Thanks for sharing your Flash Fiction.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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This is a VERY GOOD read.
The artwork is good. The image shown supports the story.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
Thanks for sharing your Flash Fiction.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Thank you for your support. I really do appreciate your support. I truly am afraid of Korea and this gave me a chance to right up.
Comment from MissMerri
I thought this was a perfect response to the writing prompt. It was well written and held my attention, had just the right amount of suspense and the characters, or main character, at least, was well defined and quite believable. I would have liked more dialogue, but the story flowed nicely anyway. Good luck with this contest entry. I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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I thought this was a perfect response to the writing prompt. It was well written and held my attention, had just the right amount of suspense and the characters, or main character, at least, was well defined and quite believable. I would have liked more dialogue, but the story flowed nicely anyway. Good luck with this contest entry. I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Thank you Miss Merri, I am actually afraid of Korea so it was a good place to air my worries. Let's hope the world stays safe.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This was a very interesting story with in the rules of the contest. The embellishment about her gift making the story interesting and believable. Well done. Good lock in the contest. Nancy
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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This was a very interesting story with in the rules of the contest. The embellishment about her gift making the story interesting and believable. Well done. Good lock in the contest. Nancy
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Thanks, nancy. It was a fun write. Unfortunately, I do worry about Korea. He just seems so unreachable and he obviously has mental issues. What a world. Let's live and enjoy.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Author,
This was definitely a sad and scary tale. I liked that you added the element of fore-sight and magic *smile*
Some notes, if you'll permit?
1.) She dived in, (I)t wasn't deep.
2.) and scared, but what was there to do(?)
Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Dear Mystery Author,
This was definitely a sad and scary tale. I liked that you added the element of fore-sight and magic *smile*
Some notes, if you'll permit?
1.) She dived in, (I)t wasn't deep.
2.) and scared, but what was there to do(?)
Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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Thank you, Robyn, I needed those corrections. It will truly help and thanks for reading and commenting that's what we all need.
Comment from RodG
This story has that plausible quality one looks for in doomsday fiction. We get the complete life story of Mary and come to like her. Each premonition is more believable than the last and we just KNOW the final dream will forecast the end of humanity. I like how you ripped the reason right out of the headlines. Very impressive and a solid entry I this contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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This story has that plausible quality one looks for in doomsday fiction. We get the complete life story of Mary and come to like her. Each premonition is more believable than the last and we just KNOW the final dream will forecast the end of humanity. I like how you ripped the reason right out of the headlines. Very impressive and a solid entry I this contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 10-May-2017
reply by the author on 10-May-2017
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thank you, Rod, Actually Korea does scare me. This was a fun but scary write. I have had a few small premonitions in my life but they could be explained by subtle things like changes in the weather or noticing a dangerous situation before a tragedy. I so appreciate you comments.
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My pleasure. I, too, fear Korea. Rod
