2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "haiku (outside in the heat)"A collection of Japanese poetry
26 total reviews
Comment from royowen
I couldn't help but laugh at this one Gsy, how ironic we don't quite think of the result of pollution, the affect it can have on the very sources of clean air...tress, great haiku, with incumbent so tori, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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I couldn't help but laugh at this one Gsy, how ironic we don't quite think of the result of pollution, the affect it can have on the very sources of clean air...tress, great haiku, with incumbent so tori, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Thank you very much, my friend. :)
Gypsy hugs
Haiku Instructor and member of the Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 starts in June, see classroom for more details
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Most welcome
Comment from Hitcher
That is pretty good my friend, you have me feeling sorry for the poor pale tree who has to stand there night and day at the mercy of all those killing fumes. Nice!
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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That is pretty good my friend, you have me feeling sorry for the poor pale tree who has to stand there night and day at the mercy of all those killing fumes. Nice!
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Thank you very much, my friend. :)
Gypsy hugs
Haiku Instructor and member of the Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 starts in June, see classroom for more details
Comment from Ulla
Hola Guapa. Como estas? Aqui estamos cogiendo cerezas desde las siete por la manana hasta la una y despues a venderlas. Volviendo a casa haciendo la comida. Estoy cansadisima.
Your haiku is beautiful. It just describes the stifling heat that suffocates everything. I love it. Beautiful descriptive words that paints the picture. Un abrazo de tu amiga Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Hola Guapa. Como estas? Aqui estamos cogiendo cerezas desde las siete por la manana hasta la una y despues a venderlas. Volviendo a casa haciendo la comida. Estoy cansadisima.
Your haiku is beautiful. It just describes the stifling heat that suffocates everything. I love it. Beautiful descriptive words that paints the picture. Un abrazo de tu amiga Ulla:)))
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Pobrecita, trabajas muy duro pero que belleza. Que estas cocinando? Cocinas platos Espanoles?
Thank you very much, my friend. :)
Gypsy hugs
Haiku Instructor and member of the Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 starts in June, see classroom for more details
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Pues si senora. Estoy cocinando platos espanoles pero tambien de muchos otros paises, como asiatico, India y tambien de paises como Marueco y del America de sur. Paises dond he pasado tiempo Y he vivido. Un abrazo de tu amiga. Ulla:)))
Comment from MizKat
Hi Gypsy,
You sure do write some interesting poems. This one was very nice too.
My main thing is writing poetry too, but some of mine are short and some a little longer.
Kat
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Hi Gypsy,
You sure do write some interesting poems. This one was very nice too.
My main thing is writing poetry too, but some of mine are short and some a little longer.
Kat
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Thank you very much, my friend. :)
Gypsy hugs
Haiku Instructor and member of the Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 starts in June, see classroom for more details
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You're very welcome Gypsy. Hugs back to you. Kat
Comment from krys123
Hi, gypsy;
-this is a sad expression of how polluted our world is at times as even the trees are suffocating and asphyxiated by the fumes of our motorcars.
-Very well constructed with grammatically and dramatically connected lines and a satori that efficiently expresses the spontaneity of excitement, and aha moment and especially summarizes the effectiveness of the conceptual theme.
-Thank you for sharing and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Hi, gypsy;
-this is a sad expression of how polluted our world is at times as even the trees are suffocating and asphyxiated by the fumes of our motorcars.
-Very well constructed with grammatically and dramatically connected lines and a satori that efficiently expresses the spontaneity of excitement, and aha moment and especially summarizes the effectiveness of the conceptual theme.
-Thank you for sharing and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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thank you
Comment from TAB_that's me
Oh Gypsy, such imagery. I can see and feel the trees choking on the traffic fumes just as I do.
Excellent write!
~~Teresa~~
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Oh Gypsy, such imagery. I can see and feel the trees choking on the traffic fumes just as I do.
Excellent write!
~~Teresa~~
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Thank you very much, my friend. :)
Gypsy hugs
Haiku Instructor and member of the Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 starts in June, see classroom for more details
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Hello my friend you done very well again with this haiku very original using 5/7/5 syllables a very good strong word asphyxiated well done regards Jill
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Hello my friend you done very well again with this haiku very original using 5/7/5 syllables a very good strong word asphyxiated well done regards Jill
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Thank you very much, my friend. :)
Gypsy hugs
Haiku Instructor and member of the Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 starts in June, see classroom for more details
Comment from Grasshopper2
MariVal,
I smell the exhaust fumes! Your haiku is spot-on with syllabic counts of 5 7 5 and a total of 17. Your total word count is 10, and your lines are three. I like the juxtapotaoe of asphyxiated. Humans fare less well than the trees. Well done, Lady Blue.
Michael
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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MariVal,
I smell the exhaust fumes! Your haiku is spot-on with syllabic counts of 5 7 5 and a total of 17. Your total word count is 10, and your lines are three. I like the juxtapotaoe of asphyxiated. Humans fare less well than the trees. Well done, Lady Blue.
Michael
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Thank you very much, my friend. :)
Gypsy hugs
Haiku Instructor and member of the Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 starts in June, see classroom for more details
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi Gypsy; your 5-7-5 haiku tells the tale of a tree struggling to survive in the world next to a busy street. The smog and emissions from the cars choke it, and the sidewalk chokes its roots. The presentation of the piece is enhanced by the artwork you've chosen and the nature aspect of the piece comes through. Thank you for sharing this well penned piece,
~patty~
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Hi Gypsy; your 5-7-5 haiku tells the tale of a tree struggling to survive in the world next to a busy street. The smog and emissions from the cars choke it, and the sidewalk chokes its roots. The presentation of the piece is enhanced by the artwork you've chosen and the nature aspect of the piece comes through. Thank you for sharing this well penned piece,
~patty~
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Thank you very much, my friend. :)
Gypsy hugs
Haiku Instructor and member of the Haiku Society of America
Haiku 101 starts in June, see classroom for more details
Comment from Sis Cat
Yes, yes, yes, Gypsy. Your haiku is the truth. Some trees are asphyxiated inhaling traffic fumes. Have you looked at the leaves of some of the trees in the city? They are covered with soot. It's a wonder they could live. They are certainly not thriving. Your haiku paints a stark picture about what man's pollution is doing to nature. Your satori is perfect.
The only SPAG is that you capitalized inhale.
Thank you very much for sharing and for caring.
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Yes, yes, yes, Gypsy. Your haiku is the truth. Some trees are asphyxiated inhaling traffic fumes. Have you looked at the leaves of some of the trees in the city? They are covered with soot. It's a wonder they could live. They are certainly not thriving. Your haiku paints a stark picture about what man's pollution is doing to nature. Your satori is perfect.
The only SPAG is that you capitalized inhale.
Thank you very much for sharing and for caring.
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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thank you for catching that... stupid spell check Thank you for the review, Andre :) I appreciate it very much!
Gypsy hugs
