My Book of Poems 2010-2017
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "A Better Place"a collection of my poetry
59 total reviews
Comment from Tinkadoll
Good work. I like the message of this poem. Owning the fact that you are hiding your heart but you know that isn't how you want to be. The second verse moves on to desired behavior... expressing emotions and being vulnerable... which is where you want to be.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Good work. I like the message of this poem. Owning the fact that you are hiding your heart but you know that isn't how you want to be. The second verse moves on to desired behavior... expressing emotions and being vulnerable... which is where you want to be.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Hi; thank you so much for your thoughtful and concise review of this piece. I'm glad you saw the duality of the stanzas and related to them so well.
~patty~
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Patty,
I really enjoy the Sapphonic Triad style. It has become one of my favorites. You picked an excellent quote by Harry Chapin. The rest of your poem centers around love and the journey to find it. Great job on the syllable counts and form. Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed your poem.
Kim
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Hi Patty,
I really enjoy the Sapphonic Triad style. It has become one of my favorites. You picked an excellent quote by Harry Chapin. The rest of your poem centers around love and the journey to find it. Great job on the syllable counts and form. Thank you for sharing, I enjoyed your poem.
Kim
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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Hi Kim; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your kind words of encouragement. The quote was a line from my favorite song by Harry Chapin - I play his music often. His words speak volumes about finding love,
~patty~
Comment from donette1914
very well done and there is no better place than to be safe with love. very creative and believable, very well penned poem and it was a pleasure to read your work, thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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very well done and there is no better place than to be safe with love. very creative and believable, very well penned poem and it was a pleasure to read your work, thank you for sharing
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2017
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thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. Yes, love is a better place to be. I'm so glad you enjoyed this piece and I'm happy you found it a pleasure to read,
~patty~
Comment from dovemarie
Dear patty, I'm glad I learned yet another poetic form! I liked your first two lines I search for love, will it find me? It's like you're on a search, but love will find you because it in turn is looking for you. Great artwork by helvi2. I know her personally. Dove
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Dear patty, I'm glad I learned yet another poetic form! I liked your first two lines I search for love, will it find me? It's like you're on a search, but love will find you because it in turn is looking for you. Great artwork by helvi2. I know her personally. Dove
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Hi Dove; thank you so much for the nice compliment! I'm having a lot of fun challenging myself to try new poetic forms - I'm glad I can share with you,
~patty~
Comment from Hansel1
"Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Love is such a complicated construct. So many outlying factors that either make or break it. I am engaged, and my love shares a totally different outlook than myself on the matter. A love skeptic vs a hopeless romantic. Often the subject matter of my own writing, love, much like the rest of humanity, has no cookie cutter template. Every instance is different. Such a subjective entity can be a scary place to reside.
Thank you for placing your feelings into words for those willing to read. I very much enjoyed your piece per usual MustangPatty. A lot of food for thought with so few words - Cheers!
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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"Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Love is such a complicated construct. So many outlying factors that either make or break it. I am engaged, and my love shares a totally different outlook than myself on the matter. A love skeptic vs a hopeless romantic. Often the subject matter of my own writing, love, much like the rest of humanity, has no cookie cutter template. Every instance is different. Such a subjective entity can be a scary place to reside.
Thank you for placing your feelings into words for those willing to read. I very much enjoyed your piece per usual MustangPatty. A lot of food for thought with so few words - Cheers!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your kind words about my poem, and for you sharing your thoughts on love. It IS a very subjective subject.
Have a great day,
~patty~
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Patty, I can imagine how this Sapphonic Triad would be a difficult form to write, but you have met the challenge well. Good start with the Harry Chapin quote. A short life with a sad end. Well written quatrain and your 8/4/6 is very good. I don't know about the satori - I suppose it does have something satori like, but as a three liner it is very good with good use of metaphor in lines one and two and the last line is brilliant. An all round good poem. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Hi Patty, I can imagine how this Sapphonic Triad would be a difficult form to write, but you have met the challenge well. Good start with the Harry Chapin quote. A short life with a sad end. Well written quatrain and your 8/4/6 is very good. I don't know about the satori - I suppose it does have something satori like, but as a three liner it is very good with good use of metaphor in lines one and two and the last line is brilliant. An all round good poem. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Hi Dorothy; thank you for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your kind words and warm encouragement,
~patty~
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
Patty this is a fantastic love poem. "I search for love Will it find me?" I love this, part, because while you search for love, you make it a double search as if this love may be tring to find you. The Sapphonic Triad, I have never heard of before, it really works wonders for this piece. ~Kerry
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Patty this is a fantastic love poem. "I search for love Will it find me?" I love this, part, because while you search for love, you make it a double search as if this love may be tring to find you. The Sapphonic Triad, I have never heard of before, it really works wonders for this piece. ~Kerry
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Hi Kerry - thank you for your warm review. I appreciate your kind words. The sapphonic triad is a form that was created right here on FanStory. I came across it on another poet's author's notes, and I thought I would give it a try. It was a fun write,
~patty~
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Oh, how very exciting
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hi Patty. Excellent job on this Sapphonic Triad poem. I too relate being in love with feeling safe. Not everybody does. It is a sense of comfort and security that one gets when their relationship is in a very good place. Being in love is most definitely a better place to be! Well done, Patty! - - Connie
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Hi Patty. Excellent job on this Sapphonic Triad poem. I too relate being in love with feeling safe. Not everybody does. It is a sense of comfort and security that one gets when their relationship is in a very good place. Being in love is most definitely a better place to be! Well done, Patty! - - Connie
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Hi; thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Trying a new poetic form every other day or so has been challenging, but I'm learning a great deal about rhythm, rhyming and meter. Love is a constant theme of mine, because I'm very happy with my life and in a good place - being married to the same man for over thirty-three years will do that for you!
~patty~
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Yes ... if he's a good man! :)
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He is THE best!
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I'm happy for you both!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
You've done well with this one Patty. Were you inspired by all of -
Barb's? I like where you've gone with this.
Finding love is a long journey - great line, nice write.
cheers.
valda
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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You've done well with this one Patty. Were you inspired by all of -
Barb's? I like where you've gone with this.
Finding love is a long journey - great line, nice write.
cheers.
valda
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Hi valda; I think reading Barb's poems always inspires me to do better. I wanted to try the sapphonic triad for awhile. It was certainly a challenge! Thank you for stopping by to read and review.
~patty~
Comment from dragonpoet
The poem tells us that hiding you feelings makes life harder than when you let your heart to be seen. Love is a journey always that can be shorter if you are truthful about your emotions.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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The poem tells us that hiding you feelings makes life harder than when you let your heart to be seen. Love is a journey always that can be shorter if you are truthful about your emotions.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 28-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2017
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Hi dragonpoet; thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I appreciate your kind and warm words,
~patty~
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Any time. It is what we are here to do.
dragonpoet
