Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Chapter Acht part zwei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
36 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
This story is always goes to the top of my list when I'm reading. There seems to be more than Jeff than meets the eye. He's been trying to track down possibilities of gangs that might be interested in the painting. There's a possibility it's Morozov who has his men following Shana and basically making her life miserable. Inquiring about the tattoos is a good idea, so that might provide a lead as to which gang has been pursuing the painting. Jeff is turning out to be very helpful. Great story. judi
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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This story is always goes to the top of my list when I'm reading. There seems to be more than Jeff than meets the eye. He's been trying to track down possibilities of gangs that might be interested in the painting. There's a possibility it's Morozov who has his men following Shana and basically making her life miserable. Inquiring about the tattoos is a good idea, so that might provide a lead as to which gang has been pursuing the painting. Jeff is turning out to be very helpful. Great story. judi
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Jeff is one of the good guys, but can be very dangerous. LOL Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
And you have made me hungry too! Or maybe it is that I have been too busy to eat. A well written chapter. You must have done some research into the mob--they are a scary bunch. Good write, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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And you have made me hungry too! Or maybe it is that I have been too busy to eat. A well written chapter. You must have done some research into the mob--they are a scary bunch. Good write, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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I have always wondered about my research. I'm afraid the FBI, CIA, or Homeland Security is going to knock on my door. LOL. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this I well written once more an interesting section about tattoo's that was brought in well I wonder what Anderson and Jeff have to talk about to or perhaps they don't want to alarm Shana Enjoyed regards Jill
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Yes this I well written once more an interesting section about tattoo's that was brought in well I wonder what Anderson and Jeff have to talk about to or perhaps they don't want to alarm Shana Enjoyed regards Jill
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Another excellent part, Barbara, and more information on the Russians. That was a clever question Shana asked about the tattoos, I wouldn't have thought of that, but most gangs have them, don't they. I'm glad the dogs had their breakfast, what you were describing of Helen's cooking, made me feel quite hungry! Well done, my friend. :) Sandra x
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Another excellent part, Barbara, and more information on the Russians. That was a clever question Shana asked about the tattoos, I wouldn't have thought of that, but most gangs have them, don't they. I'm glad the dogs had their breakfast, what you were describing of Helen's cooking, made me feel quite hungry! Well done, my friend. :) Sandra x
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barb,
I like how you at times come up a subject I found interesting about what certain styles of tattoo represents ones' character
I say beware of the any one in the mafia
Gert
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Hello Barb,
I like how you at times come up a subject I found interesting about what certain styles of tattoo represents ones' character
I say beware of the any one in the mafia
Gert
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by.
Comment from royowen
The gang compliment Helen on her culinary skills, and further discuss whether the gang members of Morosove and company are bearing distinctive tattoos that would distinguish them as representing a certain arm of a gang or member of a group or mafia organisation, well done, Barbara, excellent episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : There(,) everybody should be happy."
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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The gang compliment Helen on her culinary skills, and further discuss whether the gang members of Morosove and company are bearing distinctive tattoos that would distinguish them as representing a certain arm of a gang or member of a group or mafia organisation, well done, Barbara, excellent episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : There(,) everybody should be happy."
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
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Most welcome
Comment from Heidi M
The information about the tattoos was interesting and confirms the violence the mafia men are capable of committing. That was a good, subtle way to heighten the danger.
'I doubt there'll be any more (incidents).'
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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The information about the tattoos was interesting and confirms the violence the mafia men are capable of committing. That was a good, subtle way to heighten the danger.
'I doubt there'll be any more (incidents).'
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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I will correct that error. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
They wanted to know the men belonged to which mafia gang, gangs have different tattoos, and Jeff told the man he shot had a bull tattoo; they discussed about nature of tattoos the gang used; they prepared for a go after the breakfast; I liked the flow of thoughts and nice thematic plot progression and fine dialogues.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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They wanted to know the men belonged to which mafia gang, gangs have different tattoos, and Jeff told the man he shot had a bull tattoo; they discussed about nature of tattoos the gang used; they prepared for a go after the breakfast; I liked the flow of thoughts and nice thematic plot progression and fine dialogues.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the generous review.
Comment from kathleenspalding
Good chapter feeds us information in small pieces to keep the story moving. The only suggestion I could make (and I'm only making it because it's what 'they' say) is that you could add some brief (just a word or two here and there) sensory descriptions regarding smell/taste/feel to bring the reader into the story.
Picky bits -
We don't know for fact but pretty sure - this is a little awkward, perhaps revisit.
...grabbed you and Thor and Axel guarded - a bit confusing. ...grabbed you, and who Thor and Axel guarded, ... ? or can delete the Thor and Axel part?
That's it. Good job!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Good chapter feeds us information in small pieces to keep the story moving. The only suggestion I could make (and I'm only making it because it's what 'they' say) is that you could add some brief (just a word or two here and there) sensory descriptions regarding smell/taste/feel to bring the reader into the story.
Picky bits -
We don't know for fact but pretty sure - this is a little awkward, perhaps revisit.
...grabbed you and Thor and Axel guarded - a bit confusing. ...grabbed you, and who Thor and Axel guarded, ... ? or can delete the Thor and Axel part?
That's it. Good job!
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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I was wondering about that area myself. I wondered about leaving the two dogs out, but not sure I can. I will work on it. Thank you for your thoughts.
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If you don't want to leave them out, I would recommend using the parenthetical commas and the 'who'(whom if you want to be proper, but it's not very natural for dialogue) because the way it is can be read as the guy who grabbed you and Thor and Axel. (And for us who are reading your story hit and miss - and assumed Thor and Axel were men (oops) - you could say 'the dogs' instead, LOL, but it's not necessary)
Comment from Sankey
Great chapter again, Barb. Always an exciting read. Bob (Mastery) suggested I do as you are doing (1) Using the end of last chapter for the background in the next.
I have begun doing that and will work back on earlier chapters, the same.(2) I had another suggestion maybe from Bob of adding the cast or characters in my chapters like you do...but I wondered if that is relevant in a biography? What do you think? Now Spags and suggestions. "The next time you decide[d] to go sightseeing
2 options ahead 1 -Jeff took [of](one) bite of a biscuit ....OR
Jeff took [of](a) bite of a biscuit
Not sure where you are up to with my biography 29, 30 and 31 have rewards. Trying to get 32 up today for a Revive Certificate.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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Great chapter again, Barb. Always an exciting read. Bob (Mastery) suggested I do as you are doing (1) Using the end of last chapter for the background in the next.
I have begun doing that and will work back on earlier chapters, the same.(2) I had another suggestion maybe from Bob of adding the cast or characters in my chapters like you do...but I wondered if that is relevant in a biography? What do you think? Now Spags and suggestions. "The next time you decide[d] to go sightseeing
2 options ahead 1 -Jeff took [of](one) bite of a biscuit ....OR
Jeff took [of](a) bite of a biscuit
Not sure where you are up to with my biography 29, 30 and 31 have rewards. Trying to get 32 up today for a Revive Certificate.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2017
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I would say it couldn't hurt to have a list of characters, even in biography. I fought it for years, but glad I am now doing it. I have made the correction. Thank you for the kind review.
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Thanks for the heads up. I plan on going back and changing the Backgrounds as Bob suggested and I did start adding "casts," hehe of the persons mentioned in the chapters. Working on getting the funny money up for the next chapter Revive hopefully today.
