Twist of Fate
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Searching for Help"Sarah can either kill or be killed like her family
14 total reviews
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
In continuation, the prime theme continues, kill or be killed, do or die, a slice of living, seeks for help, realistic taletelling goes on through reasoned and balanced plot development backed by realistic but short and very catchy dialogues, progressing through new climax with resolution, though the beginning is not catchy but ending is good, well said, well done.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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In continuation, the prime theme continues, kill or be killed, do or die, a slice of living, seeks for help, realistic taletelling goes on through reasoned and balanced plot development backed by realistic but short and very catchy dialogues, progressing through new climax with resolution, though the beginning is not catchy but ending is good, well said, well done.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your review I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'll see about making the beginning more appealing. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you again for your kind review and all your support, take care.
Comment from KatyM
For some reason my post didn't get posted I guess the other day. I see you rewrote this chapter. Sounds good. I want to know what's going to happen. How is the BIL going to help Sarah?
I don't have any suggestions or any other corrections. ttyl katy
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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For some reason my post didn't get posted I guess the other day. I see you rewrote this chapter. Sounds good. I want to know what's going to happen. How is the BIL going to help Sarah?
I don't have any suggestions or any other corrections. ttyl katy
Comment Written 06-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2019
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Thank you so much for your review and helpful suggestion. You're right, her doesn't belong.
Well, dear friend not only did you catch up you got ahead. Chapter 5 is from my first go around, still unrevised. I planned on reposting the edited version next week.
Thank you so much for all your help support and friendship. It means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Hiding in the dressing room seems like a good option, so why would she search for an exit?
You tend to use too many different words as speech tags, when SAID or ASKED is all you should use, according to editors. Some of your choices work, tho, such as "she lied" etc. but in general, don't look for synonyms for SAID. Just use it.
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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hiding in the dressing room seems like a good option, so why would she search for an exit?
You tend to use too many different words as speech tags, when SAID or ASKED is all you should use, according to editors. Some of your choices work, tho, such as "she lied" etc. but in general, don't look for synonyms for SAID. Just use it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you for your great review. I will keep the speech tags in mind. on the following chapters. Why did Mia search for an exit? She didn't want to be trapped in the shop.
Thanks again for your kind review. Take care.
Comment from Mustang Patty
this chapter had a great deal of action and intrigue. I have more questions about the situation, and I'm already wondering what will happen next. Your prose flow well, and you do a nice job with using dialogue to impart information, along with the use of interior monologue.
~patty~
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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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this chapter had a great deal of action and intrigue. I have more questions about the situation, and I'm already wondering what will happen next. Your prose flow well, and you do a nice job with using dialogue to impart information, along with the use of interior monologue.
~patty~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you for your wonder review and your kind words. I hope you stick around because the action is just starting and the ending has one heck of a twist.
Thanks again for your great review, take care.
