Reviews from

Twist of Fate

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Searching for Help"
Sarah can either kill or be killed like her family

14 total reviews 
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
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Oh, man, poor lady she has to run for her life, and now drags other people in her misfortune. Apparently the cops are not to be trusted so your best bet is to run for it. Thank you for sharing and waiting for the next chapter,

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
    Thank you so much for your kind review. I am so glad you enjoyed the chapter. It's not that the cops are untrustworthy, Sarah and Mia think the police won't believe it was self-defense.
    Thank you again for reading my chapter. Your support friendship means a lot to me, take care.

reply by Iza Deleanu on 17-Sep-2019
    You are welcome and waiting for the next chapter
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Excellent
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Goodness everyone is running from the police and people shooting at them. Lots of action and never a dull moment. Looking forward to finding out what happens to these ladies. Rox

 Comment Written 16-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 17-Sep-2019
    Thank you so much for taking the time to read my chapter. They both have quickly found themselves in a world of hurt. Neither knowing what the other is going through.
    Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship. It always means a lot to me, take care.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
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Hi Mistydawn. The shooting has slowed a little bit but there is one little section that seems a little awkward to me. In the last paragraph it seems like Mia is walking into a dressing room but you wrote, "She turns to find two cops stepping through the door." It sounded like she was walking away from the door when she was going to the dressing room. See what you think. Robert

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 16-Sep-2019
    Thank you so much for your kind review. I took the action down a notch for a minute. Sara and Mia were complaining said they needed a break. I've changed the last three sentences to She grabs a few more pieces and then heads towards the fitting room. Mia hears the doorbell chime when she's halfway across the floor. She turns to find two cops? stepping through the front door. Better?
    Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship it always means a lot to me. take care.
reply by Robert Zimmerman on 16-Sep-2019
    You're welcome! Keep talking to you characters. :)
Comment from Ulla
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Hi Misty, I'm sure Jimmy will help Sarah. He is in love after all and a man in love will do anything to rescue his damsel when in trouble. But what about Mia? I reckon, she can look after herself. All best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
    Thank you so much for reading my chapter. I'm assuming you enjoyed it. Yes, Jimmy will help Sarah, but poor Mia is left to fend for herself. Can she do it?
    Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship. It means a lot to me, take care.
reply by Ulla on 15-Sep-2019
    Yes, I did enjoy it. I'm sorry. I never said. :)))
Comment from Susan X Smith
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I love a good mystery. This story was divided into two parts and both held my attention. I must admit, however, to being somewhat confused as to the relationship of each part to the other. Was it two separate stories, or did Sarah disguise herself and become Mia? Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 15-Sep-2019
    Thank you so much for your generous review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it but am sorry for the confusion.
    Mia and Sarah are two different people, but they're being hunted by the same men.
    Mia is Sarah's daughter Katelyn's twin. Sarah was told Mia died at birth. Mia shot a man at Katelyn's funeral when he put a knife to her back, ordered her to pay her debt. Which actually is Katelyn's but they look identical so no one can tell them apart. That's why she's running from the cops and thugs.
    Katelyn is the lady who was recently shot in a drive-by. She and her daddy. Katelyn owes the drug dealers a lot of money.
    I hope that helped clear up your confusion. If not, please let me know.
    Thank you again for your kind review it's always greatly appreciated, take care.
Comment from Cindy Warren
Excellent
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Of course Jimmy will help Sarah. He wants her. But will the ladies in the clothing store guess Mia is ducking the cops? Do they care? I still think the ones in real trouble are the thugs. I'm guessing Mia will get away.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
    Thank you so much for your great review. I'm so glad you enjoyed this chapter. You guessed my original plan but if it's that predictableI'm going to have to do something to change it up or add excitement. Thanks for another challenge. You keep me on my toes.
    Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship, take care.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Kill or be killed, not much of a choice to make a decision on, Sarah throws herself onto her brother-in-law, who has always fancied her, and suddenly realises that that is not much cop when people start shooting at them. Mia is beset by cops, and dashes into a clothing store, taking refuge, but then the bell rings, excellent, action packed episode, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
    Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. Your help, support, and friendship means a lot to me. So are you starting to like mysteries now? Maybe just a little?
    Thank you again for your continuous support, take care?
reply by royowen on 15-Sep-2019
    Well done
Comment from Gert sherwood
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Hello Mistydawn
I like how you described the troubles that Sarah and Mia are having are exacting, but there is one place I believe should be changed is this part--

Sarah sniffles. She takes a hankie from her pocket and blows her nose.
I'm wondering now days use a hankie? What about a tissue.
Gert

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
    Well, hello again. Two reviews in a week, what a treat. You're right I doubt if anyone uses a hankie now. In fact, the younger generation will probably have to look it up. Hehehehe.
    Thank you again for all your help, support, your friendship, it means a lot to me, take care.
reply by Gert sherwood on 14-Sep-2019
    You are welcome Mistydawn.
    Gert
Comment from Kay Rudder Hasenohr
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I love the story - a lot of mental emotions and action with a lot of descriptive content and narrative. It puts the reader right in the scene with the characters! Good luck!

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
    Thank you so much for such a sweet review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, felt like you were in the story that means a lot to me. What I hoped to do.
    Thank you again for such a kind review and your wonderful encouragement, take care.
Comment from country ranch writer
Excellent
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Oops she is indeed being sought after by everyone. Just hope she can get out of this pickle she has gotten herself into. I wouldn't want to be her.

 Comment Written 14-Sep-2019


reply by the author on 14-Sep-2019
    Poor Sarah and Mia have found themselves in a heck of a mess that's for sure. Sarah is free for now, but poor Mia she's trapped in a store.
    Thank you again for all your help, support and encouragement. It means a lot to me, take care.
reply by country ranch writer on 14-Sep-2019
    Smiles and you're welcome