The Art of Assassination
Death comes easy.13 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
Thank you for sharing your entry in the 'Assassinate Me A Thriller' contest. You did a great job with the juxtaposition of killing a cockroach and the killing of a senator. In life, both seem the same. Only a cockroach would cheat on his wife. Good luck with your entry,
~patty~
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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Thank you for sharing your entry in the 'Assassinate Me A Thriller' contest. You did a great job with the juxtaposition of killing a cockroach and the killing of a senator. In life, both seem the same. Only a cockroach would cheat on his wife. Good luck with your entry,
~patty~
Comment Written 16-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2017
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Thanks Patty, Yep two cockroaches. The little creeps. lol
Comment from XGoneX
Hello,
This is a very original entry. I particularly liked the humour in this first part regarding the cockroach. A least I thought it was fun, and I can relate happening in my kitchen lol then you end the story with a more serious note adding a nice twist.
The best of luck!
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Hello,
This is a very original entry. I particularly liked the humour in this first part regarding the cockroach. A least I thought it was fun, and I can relate happening in my kitchen lol then you end the story with a more serious note adding a nice twist.
The best of luck!
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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thank you so much. I hate cockroaches. And they really are clever lol
Comment from apky
An ejoyable read right from the start to the end.
I liked how you poignantly went about describing
the "invincible" Houdini, right up to your accounts
on the senator's death, the vividness of yellow dress
and what gets splattered on it.
Have a nice weekend.
Apky
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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An ejoyable read right from the start to the end.
I liked how you poignantly went about describing
the "invincible" Houdini, right up to your accounts
on the senator's death, the vividness of yellow dress
and what gets splattered on it.
Have a nice weekend.
Apky
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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thank you so much. It was a challenge I enjoyed. I hate cockroaches but we still do get those huge ones in Texas lol
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I loved the tack you took with this one. The introductory part with the cockroach was very good and rooted the piece with a great sense of the common and realism before seguing into the second part seamlessly.
I would suggest though using different forms for emphasis/quote than you do for dialogue just for presentation and clarity purposes.
Senators go for about 300,000.- maybe stick $ on the front of the number to root the piece to a place.
Now they are walking to the Taxi Stand - no real need for the capitalisation here.
Nice conclusion and end line
G
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Hi there,
I loved the tack you took with this one. The introductory part with the cockroach was very good and rooted the piece with a great sense of the common and realism before seguing into the second part seamlessly.
I would suggest though using different forms for emphasis/quote than you do for dialogue just for presentation and clarity purposes.
Senators go for about 300,000.- maybe stick $ on the front of the number to root the piece to a place.
Now they are walking to the Taxi Stand - no real need for the capitalisation here.
Nice conclusion and end line
G
Comment Written 15-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
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Great suggestions. The money sign is on its way. And why do I continually capitalize Taxi, This is like the fourth time. I am beginning to think there is something Freudian about Taxi. lol
Comment from kathleenspalding
Haha! Good ending! Very well written story was entertaining and kept my interest from start to finish. Just a couple typos,
....night, (I'd instead of I) see him...(to keep tense consistent in the paragraph, and to save the switch to present tense for the Governor part.)
...in the dark(period instead of comma)
"La Cuisine". - doesn't need quotation marks, if you keep them, put the period inside, but the restaurant name really doesn't need to be in quotation marks.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Haha! Good ending! Very well written story was entertaining and kept my interest from start to finish. Just a couple typos,
....night, (I'd instead of I) see him...(to keep tense consistent in the paragraph, and to save the switch to present tense for the Governor part.)
...in the dark(period instead of comma)
"La Cuisine". - doesn't need quotation marks, if you keep them, put the period inside, but the restaurant name really doesn't need to be in quotation marks.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Thank you so much, I hope it does well in the contest. I will take your suggestions. You really helped me.
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You're welcome :-)
Comment from emptypage
Interesting. I enjoyed the story, even with the yucky bug beginning, LOL.
You brought back sad and shocking memories, though, with your mention of brain and spattered blood. I can see myself standing in grey matter right after a car accident as clearly as if it happened yesterday.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Interesting. I enjoyed the story, even with the yucky bug beginning, LOL.
You brought back sad and shocking memories, though, with your mention of brain and spattered blood. I can see myself standing in grey matter right after a car accident as clearly as if it happened yesterday.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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the memory for you makes me really sad. I truly hope you are ok. What an awful thing to happen
Comment from BeasPeas
Good job with this. The best part is that your whole scenario sounds plausible. Your story flowed along with clarity and good descriptions. Much luck with this great entry. Marilyn
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Good job with this. The best part is that your whole scenario sounds plausible. Your story flowed along with clarity and good descriptions. Much luck with this great entry. Marilyn
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Thank you so much, it was an interesting write. I guess I will see how it does.
Comment from frogbook
Best story so far without a doubt. Great comparison with the cockroach....they seemed quite similar anyway. Lol. Good explanation of the getaway. Im glad the mistress got dirty too. Ha. This seems like a winner to me.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Best story so far without a doubt. Great comparison with the cockroach....they seemed quite similar anyway. Lol. Good explanation of the getaway. Im glad the mistress got dirty too. Ha. This seems like a winner to me.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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thank you froggie, you are always so helpful
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
This was a really nice entry for the Assassination Challenge. It was well-written and thought-provoking. I enjoyed it very much and thought your ending was nice. Good luck!
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Dear Mystery Writer,
This was a really nice entry for the Assassination Challenge. It was well-written and thought-provoking. I enjoyed it very much and thought your ending was nice. Good luck!
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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thank you robyn, I appreciate it.
Comment from kahpot
An excellent read ( at the beginning is it meant to be tree varieties or three not knowing anything about Houdini's clan) and Yes I can that may come easy as long as it is someone else's I thoroughly enjoyed this story well done and good luck in your competition****kahpot
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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An excellent read ( at the beginning is it meant to be tree varieties or three not knowing anything about Houdini's clan) and Yes I can that may come easy as long as it is someone else's I thoroughly enjoyed this story well done and good luck in your competition****kahpot
Comment Written 13-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Thank you, it is actually the tree variety. I live in texas and they are impossible and scary. I am so blessed that you liked my story.
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Thanks for the clarification***kahpot
