Reviews from

Echoes of Artistry

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Hear My Voice"
NaPoWriMo 2017

23 total reviews 
Comment from alf collier
Excellent
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Very fitting tribute to such a wonderful poetess, my friend!! from humble beginnings rise the stars of tomorrow!! I did not sense any regret in your words, perhaps just a hint of curiosity, so I hope you have been loved and returned that love!!

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 17-Apr-2017
    Hi Alf,

    Thank you for taking the time to read and review this piece. No regret. I believe that being adopted has made me a strong individual. The curiosity will always be there. We always want to know what we don't know. The older I get, medical histories would be nice, but it is the doctor's job to be diligent, right? I appreciate your kind words. The one thing I can truly say is that I've never lacked love in my life, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

    Kim
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
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Like a flower breaking asphalt
I will rise up from my roots - great lines Kim in a powerful, emotional poem. Well done with this one.
Yes I have read about Maya Angelou before but how ironic her born name and your biological mother's name.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 15-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2017
    Hi Valda,

    I'm glad you enjoyed this one. It was really one of the more difficult ones I've written; not because of the topic, but because I was trying to match Maya's style. Thank you for the lovely comments.

    Kim
Comment from honeytree
Excellent
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Yes how wonderful
these words are
how true we can have
our sad times within
our lives but when
we are heard our
lives expand with happiness.

wonderful words.

Honey tree

I have no six left

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
    Hi Annie,

    A virtual six is a wonderful gift any day of the week. Thank you for the glowing review. I appreciate your comments.

    Kim
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
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This tells us that you can overcome a bad childhood to become important. Even if you are not vocal words or still powerful and let you be heard if you write them down as prose or poetry.

Keep writing

Joan

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017
    Hi Joan,

    Thanks for taking the time to read and review. Being adopted ensured I had a good childhood because I was with people who had chosen to love me. It just doesn't erase the questions about my birth parents or their families. I feel that we all have a voice to share our important messages and that poets are an important influence on society, that is the position I'm speaking from, whether we are important or not. I appreciate your wonderful comments.

    Kim
reply by dragonpoet on 12-Apr-2017
    You're welcome. I can understand being curious.

    Joan
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Excellent
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Hi Kim. I've love all of your chapters for Echoes of Artistry, but this is my fave so far! I wish I had a six left for you.

Re your author notes ... Talk about "echoes of artistry". Wow, one has to wonder if Mary Ann Johnson and Marguerite Annie Johnson are one in the same person. You never know. If so ... there is the echo of artistry ... from mother to daughter ... both accomplished poets.

Love the picture! Did your husband take it? There is such an underlying current of heart-felt emotion in this poem. It really grabs the reader. "My words are power, the stallion I ride" is my favorite line of this exceptionally well written poem. A very powerful ending and it has the same impact from repetition as Maya's poem has.

Fantastic job on this poem!

Connie


 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017
    Hi Connie,

    Yes, James took the picture at the poetry reading. I was typing my author's notes after I had written the poem and thought I'd give a snippet of bio just in case some weren't familiar with Maya Angelou (as I've done with the other pieces in this book.) I hadn't even read her bio at that point. Imagine my surprise when I went to read it and saw the name! What an awesome piece of irony.

    I took a trip to Canada in 2001. That was back before we needed a passport in pre-9/11 days. Just prior, in fact. I had to send to Oregon (I was born in Portland, but we moved to Alaska just before my 2nd birthday) because I needed to be able to show my birth certificate. When I ordered this online I discovered that Oregon had unsealed their adoption records sometime in that preceding year. I was able to order a Pre-Adoption certificate, as well as my birth certificate. It listed me as "baby girl Johnson." My birth mother was listed as Mary Ann Johnson and it gave her birth year of 1940. (That makes her the same age as my adoptive father, who will be 77 in June.) Maya Angelou was born in 1928 (and is of different ethnicity) but when I saw the name, the irony took me by surprise. The only other thing listed on that certificate was that my birth mother was born in North Dakota. Johnson is the 5th most common name in the United States, and Mary Ann is even more common than that, so I doubt I will ever know. I really am secure in my family I was raised by, but as we get older, medical histories, at the very least, really would be nice to have.

    Thank you for the fantastic review. I'm so happy that you enjoyed this selection.

    Kim
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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This is a very nicely written poem. It is amazing what we can overcome with determination and pride. I realize the questions you ask will never be answered but being able to speak them allows you to express the pride in who you have become. I enjoyed this poem very much.


 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017
    Thanks for all the dedicated reviewing you've done. Wow! I get the day at home today, so I may actually catch up on some, too. Thank you for the wonderful comments. The rhyme scheme and meter were a bit out of my comfort zone on this one, but hey, I'll try most anything once lol I'm glad you enjoyed this selection. I appreciate your comments.

    Kim
Comment from frogbook
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Total excellence. Beautifully written in the form of a poem, no one could not love. As I read the poem by Maya, I could hear her saying the words which made it even better than reading. You did a wonderful job on this with superb description and wording, telling of your life. Enjoyed seeing your pic and hope your 1st reading went well. The irony of your birth mother's name and Maya's real name was really ironic.

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017
    Hi frogbook,

    Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Your glowing comments have are the first of my morning and have made me smile. The reading was fantastic, and awesome experience. I was typing my author's notes for this piece when I decided that perhaps someone wouldn't be familiar with Maya Angelou, so I thought to add a bit of a bio. That is when I actually went and read it and saw her given name. What a surprise! I appreciate this exceptional rating and all of your wonderful comments.

    Kim
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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I hope you enjoyed your poetry reading and that your audience enjoyed it too. To be hyper critical i would say that Angelou retained her meter slightly more faithfully than you have done but hers is by no means 100% regular so I guess that lets you off the hook somewhat.

"If by random we meet..." Random is an adjective except in the one instance using "at" -- "at random" is not used alone. So, "if by random chance we meet" or "if at random we meet" would be OK.

There is however a tiny village in rural Shropshire called Random, near the market town of Ludlow. During WW2 an old farmer was in a Ludlow pub when he heard on the radio the news that, "German aircraft had been over, bombing at random", he was heard to remark "I hopes they bloody Jerries hanna hit my farm!"

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017
    Hi Pantygynt:

    I'm actually really happy you said that. I'm going to plead guilty to tossing the expectation of meter out the window, because the whole time I was writing this piece I kept wondering how she got to be so popular. It is probably one of the more difficult poems I've written, based on the fact that I kept going back to count the syllables in her lines to make sure I was matching line for line. (Yes, your review to my Blake "Tyger" poem was running through my head on that one, what are you doing in my head? lol) I kept finding that I wanted to even up the meter in the lines, or at least do 8787, but she wasn't consistent with that either.

    I wanted to include her in the book because her writing has been so influential on society, and my premise here is that we, as poets, have the voice to make an impact. She's an incredible example of that fact. Previously, I had known her by reputation alone. I didn't even go and read her bio until I had written the poem and was working on posting the author's notes. Imagine my surprise at discovering her given name.

    Thank you for always giving me the best advice. I've made the "at random" change (and managed to lose the answer I first typed to this review in my haste to do so.) Great story about the village of Random! lol I appreciate all of your comments.

    Kim

reply by Pantygynt on 12-Apr-2017
    I kind of assumed she was of African American origin. I have noticed how frequently their concepts of rhythm run across our own. it is a cultural thing i think.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017
    She is. She was extremely popular, like Oprah Winfrey.

    www.mayaangelou.com
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Your beautiful paean to Maya carries such brave pain and echoes within itself of loss and confusion. I agree that the uneven rhythm of the poem adds to the sense of that which is broken - relationship, trust, and heart. The questions you ask will never be answered by your mother, but it is good to acknowledge and shout out your sense of self. Well written, and the message is not self-indulgent but recognizable to all those who carry the same "Why?" in their hearts. - Wendy

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017
    Hi Wendy,

    Wow! What amazing comments in this exceptional review. Thank you for such a gift this morning.

    Kim
Comment from strandregs
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

She was a fighter indeed.
My wife is you.. and the cry is in her throat.
choking her exsistance.
beautiful poem.
heart on sleeve brave.
Im heard im heard im heard.
Life is a boaling ally...:-)) Z.

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017
    Hi Strandregs,

    I appreciate you taking the time to read and review. Your exceptional comments and rating have made me smile this morning. Thank you!!

    Kim