Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written diamante poem. A goof choice to show the different emotions that is felt with the birth of these two babies where one survived and the other one who died.

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017

Thank you for understanding the purpose of the poetic form. I thought for quite a while before choosing the right form, and distancing myself enough to be objective about both babies.

Thanks again,
Rhonda

Comment from Benny Beeharry

Excellent

Hi friend, it is terrible when someone is taken away so young. Noone has a chance to enjoy his or her coming, and bathe in their smile. This is life and it is very hard.
Take care and blessings.


Danny Jock

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017

Thank you, Danny. You're right, she arrived and left in heartache. I still remembered to tell my son and daughter-in-law congratulations on the birth of their child. They smiled in pride. She will always be their first.

Thank you so much,
Rhonda

Comment from artemis53

Excellent

This is beautiful and I know it was difficult to put down. I'm battling those demons myself right now and know what the emptiness is about. It's such a lovely tribute to life no matter how short.

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017

Thank you for the compassionate review. It is difficult, and partly due to the fact that people want to dismiss a premature birth. I don't. She was alive for a while, and that makes her a granddaughter no matter what.

I'm sorry for the demons you battle. It isn't easy,

Hugs,
Rhonda

Comment from Oatmeal

Excellent

davisr (Rhonda),

This poem was beautiful. I like the style very much. Very enchanted atmosphere, non-judgmental, thought provoking, very enjoyable and thrilling. The words you chose worked very well.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017

Thank you, Oatmeal. I usually write novels, but dabble occasionally in poetry, especially when I have something to say that only poetry can express.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

A clever and heartwarming write which is both sad and joyous. I am sorry for your loss, and congratulations too. This must be a very difficult scenario for your family, I hope the death has not overshadowed the joy for the other baby, best wishes, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017

Thank you, Dolly. It hasn't overshadowed Simon at all. For one thing, Melina (Simon's mama) lives in Maryland. I live in Texas close by the son who lost the baby. They don't really talk to each other much, and I didn't go into details with Melina as I wanted her to enjoy her baby.

Thank you for your caring review,
Rhonda

Comment from mbroyles2

Excellent

Very beautiful.
This poem touches on both the joy of life, and the tragedy of death.
You have done a great job bringing out the emotions with a crispness and excellent pace.
God Bless!
Michael

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017

Thank you, Michael! It was definitely a week of emotional see-sawing.
Thanks for the excellent review!
Rhonda

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Rhonda,
This is a great poem to remember the impact of both beautiful little babies. I like the idea of including both Simon & Bella together in one poem as they are forever together in your heart. I am saddened for the loss of Bella. She will never be forgotten. Good job & take care. I will say a prayer for your family. Jan

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017

Thank you, Jan! I tried to write two separate poems, but I just couldn't. It only worked when I linked the two together!
Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from Jim Lorson Sr

Excellent

Rhonda, I am so very sorry for your loss. It made my heart so sad to read your authors notes! Your poem expresses so much in so few words. Simon Karl, a great name as Karl is my first name and Bella Jade is so beautiful!

The picture displays a very cute little baby. I don't know if you have ever read the book *Embraced by the Light*, if you haven't, you should read it. I have given out to several people after they lost someone. They came back to me with their great expression of thanks.

Take care Rhonda and know my prayers are with you everyday my precious friend,,,,,,,Jim

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017

Thank you so much, Jim. The baby in my picture is actually my new grandson. I opted out of the picture of Bella, though I have one.

Karl is my youngest child's name, as well. He was always very special to my daughter, Melina, so she named him after Karl. The son that lost the baby's name is Joseph. He's the middle child, and already has a son, Paul, but not with the same mama.

You know, I'm not sure I've read "Embraced by the Light". I'll look into it, thanks. Is it the one about the woman who died after a hysterectomy and went to heaven for a bit? If so, I read it a long time ago. Maybe it's time to read again.

Thank you for your prayers, Jim. They are always welcome.

Rhonda

reply by Jim Lorson Sr on 12-Apr-2017

The author of this book has had two out of body experiences, once as a child and the second as an adult. It is so engaging, that when my mom passed away in '04, her death was so easy for me to accept. My two younger siblings were so angry with me because I chose not to go back home for her funeral. Rhonda, I did not want to remember her that way. We spent ten days together three months before she passed. It was the greatest time between us ever. That I remember vividly.

I enjoy our friendship!

Jim

Comment from marybell1

Good

You wrote a very touching poem about your two Grand children. It is lovely that you still have a beautiful baby. To lose one is devastating. - I know.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017

Thank you for the kind four star rating, Marybell.
I lost a baby once, but I wasn't very far along, so the loss wasn't as great. In this case, she was born alive and lived long enough to make it to the hospital. I'm sorry for your own loss. The pain is real.

Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from apky

Excellent

Hello Rhonda.
I'm not going to even pretend I know anything about
poetry (except to read them and quote them in my prose!)
let alone the many varieties of poetry/poems there are
as I've learnt here in FS.
But I felt you expressed your loss brilliantly, my friend.
I hope your pain will lessen each day and give you
what you need to express yourself as above.
Apky

 Comment Written 12-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017

Thank you, Apky!
I appreciate you reviewing my poetry. I'm no expert, either, and I've searched for the right avenue to express the joy and grief. The diamante just kept coming to mind as it joins two separate things.

I've tried to focus on the joy of having the granddaughter, and even congratulated my son and daughter-in-law on the birth of their child. There is a social stigma on losing a newborn, and I'm not sure why, but there is, especially when they are premature. It's like people think it's a failure. I let them know I was proud of them, and happy they had a baby, especially since my daughter was getting so much attention for hers (rightly so).

I appreciate the kind review,
Rhonda