Reviews from

Echoes of Artistry

Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "The Mermaid, in Response"
NaPoWriMo 2017

16 total reviews 
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Try as I might, reading the rules made me dizzy and I still don't understand them. However, I did enjoy the poem and felt it flow smoothing down the page as I read it. I love your notes, they always add so much to the post and as I have said many times, I learn something new. Very nice work with this one. I enjoyed it very much.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 11-Apr-2017
    Hi! This one was just basically inspired by the artwork by Waterhouse and the poem by Tennyson. (Both were titled, "The Mermaid.") It is a painting I've long admired. The poem is one I'd just discovered. My poem is the response it evoked. Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I love the comments!

    The Lauranelle is a style I just learned a couple of weeks ago in Poetry Potlatch. I think it is settling itself into my playbook of poetry styles, I rather like it.

    Kim
Comment from honeytree
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The art work is very
right for this poem
The words written
are very interesting in everyway.
Did mermaids exist I guess
we will never know in my opinion.

Honey tree

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 11-Apr-2017
    Hi Annie,

    Thank you for this exceptional rating and review. I was thrilled to merge Tennyson's poem and the Waterhouse painting into my own response. Mermaids exist somewhere, if only in our imaginations. I appreciate your wonderful comments.

    Kim
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
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You did a great job of this Lauranelle in your wish to be the mermaid of the Lord Tennyson. Beautifully descriptive story and your final verse works very well. Loved it Kim,
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
    Hi Valda,

    I absolutely love mermaids. This Lauranelle was promised to last week's potlatch, I just wanted to figure out how to work it into the book. I'm trying to stay true to my prologue, or as close as I can. I'm happy that you enjoyed this one. I love both the poem and the painting, to merge them into one of my own was a sheer delight. Thanks for the wonderful review.

    Kim
reply by Pearl Edwards on 10-Apr-2017
    Hi Kim, can you help me with a problem. I have mistakenly put my prose write in as chapter 10 and have no idea how to get it out.
    HELP,
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
    Hi Valda,

    The only way I can see that it could be done is to go into edit on the piece in question... go to advanced options... under release mode you have the option to disable and remove from book. Then I presume you just go back in and re-release it. However, you have your piece promoted right now, and I have no idea if that will null and void your certificate. So, do this instead...

    Go into edit mode and set the chapter number to 0. That way it won't screw up your promotion and you won't lose track of your chapters.

    It won't affect anything either way. Then, you can try the disable/reenable after the promotion period is done and/or email Tom and ask him how. I thought it would be as easy as pushing a 'remove from book' button, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

    If it has to stay in the book, it won't harm anything, especially if set to chapter 0.
reply by Pearl Edwards on 10-Apr-2017
    Thanks for that Kim. I have made it 0 chapter and will leave it at that for now, but it's saying it's a prologue now. I will email Tom, if I can find him.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
    Yes, I knew it would call it a prologue. Go to the top of your screen and look at the drop down tab under Community. The last selection should be Contact Us... that is how you send a message to Tom.
reply by Pearl Edwards on 10-Apr-2017
    Yes I've done that, hopefully he can sort it out as I don't want to add other chapters and then get into a bigger mess. thanks Kim,.
reply by Pearl Edwards on 10-Apr-2017
    Okay so he just sent back - and I've done it - there's an option in the portfolio (remove a chapter from a book) so I did. Dah feel so stupid now.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
    Don't feel stupid, I looked last night and didn't see that either lol
Comment from Rlegel99
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Poem written on the subject of a painting. This poem has nice flow. Your word choice as well as the artwork paint a vivid picture for the reader's. Thank you for sharing this piece of poetry.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
    Hi Rlegel,

    Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate your comments and hope you enjoyed the poem.

    Kim
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Kim,

This form of poetry looks so challenging. You've done a wonderful job with this poem. I've been mesmerized by mermaids ever since childhoold, and your mermaid poem has done the same for me. I used to think it just folklore told by sailors, but I have seen and read some things that kind of make me wonder if they might exist.

Your poem is exceptionally well written, and you've really managed to capture the essence of the artwork in your creative write. My favorite lines are "a tryst in morning mist can't be so wrong" (love the tryst/mist internal rhyme) and "Though he was gone, he left behind my heart, in pieces, glimmering upon the sand". Though the story told through your poem is a sad one, it is one that draws the reader in.

A great poem, Kim!

Connie

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
    Hi Connie,

    I am thrilled that you enjoyed my mermaid poem. I've always been enchanted by them. They are always a fun topic to write. I'm afraid if they were real they would closer resemble the poem Pantygynt penned for me in response (look in my reviews, you'll enjoy it, I'm sure.) It made me laugh.

    This exceptional rating and review is a generous gift. I appreciate your kind comments.

    Kim
reply by bichonfrisegirl on 09-Apr-2017
    LOL ... Despite the bare breasts, I suppose a "fishy smell" could be a turn-off to a landlubber. Haha! Hey, you know he Pantygynt REALLY loved your poem if he want to all that trouble to write his own poem (and a pretty darn good one) in response. :)

    Thanks for sharing! It gave me a good laugh!
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
    I knew you'd like it! lol
reply by bichonfrisegirl on 09-Apr-2017
    :)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Kim,
This is the perfect pairing of words & art. Your lines flow smoothly & the story is super. Good job on the form of the lauranelle Your repeated lines are strong & fit in nicely to further the story.

I really like the descriptive phrases, too. One of my favorites is 'glimmering upon the sand.[

Great informative notes are appreciated.

Thanks for sharing another of your awesome poems. Jan

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
    Hi Jan,

    I really didn't want to miss on this one, I just had to fit it into the book. Thank you for all of the wonderful comments. I have always loved the Waterhouse painting, and mermaids in general. I was so happy to figure out a way to bring it all together. I am so happy you enjoyed it.

    Kim
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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You bring together the two art forms, graphic and literary in a hybrid form of poetry. Worth waiting for this. I felt it warranted a reply.

The mermaid's problem is her fishy smell;
besides her long lank locks of salt-slicked hair,
best friends won't tell, that turns me off as well,

though topless aspect is attractive where
she sits upon her rock with coral comb,
and tries to rid herself of salt-itch there.

I'll bet that she both near and far would roam
in search of a freshwater shower of rain.
Salt-soluble shampoo she keeps at home,

conditioner as well, but all in vain;
it lathers not, because cod liver oil
depresses foaming suds and leaves dark stain

upon her tail's bright scales that round her coil.
The stuff they rid sea birds of spilled oil slick,
that's gentle on their feathers, should not spoil

those ginger tresses, might just do the trick.
Detergent must be kind to flesh left bare,
biodegradable, and that quite quick.

I guess I'll look for love upon dry land,
ignoring mermaids, comb and glass in hand.
The mermaid's problem is her fishy smell,
best friends won't tell, that turns me off as well.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
    Hi Pantygynt:

    You don't want to be a merman cavorting in the sea with half naked fish women? ;) I love that my poem prompted this reply. It is too early for my brain to concoct a suitable response, other than you trading me poetry for poetry is going to be my best review of the day. This one made me laugh, you are absolutely clever. Thank you for this fun poem you've written.

    Kim
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellently done lauranelle with the flow and the repeating lines. thank you for adding the notes to help us understand the piece which I must say is very well done

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
    Hi Barb,

    Thank you for the kind comments. I really wanted it to make sense for my book. I'm glad you've enjoyed this selection.

    Kim
Comment from Apostle Janos
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I really like everything about tho poem! The form, the words and the topic you chose, Waterhouse is one of my favorite artists. The themes of mortality religion and mythical magical creatures... Enchanting

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
    Hi Apostle Yannaras,

    Thank you for this exceptional rating and review. I greatly appreciate your enthusiastic comments. Waterhouse is one of my favorites, too.

    Kim
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very well-written Lauranelle. The last one also gets home, doesn't matter how long it takes. This is a very beautiful wish and a lifelong dream that will be fulfilled one day.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
    Hi Sandra,

    Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate the wonderful comments. I've been so into my other writes this week, I just had to figure out how to make this one fit in the book lol what a dream that would be, I love the water.

    Kim