Reviews from

Echoes of Artistry

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Lured Into the Wild"
NaPoWriMo 2017

22 total reviews 
Comment from damommy
Excellent
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You've convinced me with your lovely poem and great rhyming, internal and external.

Robert Service is one of my favorites, maybe the most favorite.

I can see you wrote in his way, and did a bang up job with it.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    Hi Yvonne,

    He's one of my absolute favorites, too. If you'd like a good laugh, go to Profile Thoughts. I posted a recording of Bessie's Boil. I think you'll like it. :) Thanks for the great review.

    Kim
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Excellent
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Loved your longish (although I'm sure I still hold the crown) story in a poem with its interior rhymes, folksy wisdom, idioms and humor. Enveloping the piece made for a nice closure and reminder of your admonition. Well done dear, see you in the contest - if the committee doesn't despair of the time it takes to read these puppies. - Wendy

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    Hi Wendy,

    They invited the stories lol All good stories have to be developed. :) I appreciate the kind comments. Good luck to us both! :)

    Kim
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
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Your internal line rhymes works well Kim in your story in a poem of the foolhardy tourists that take on Alaska and loose.Interesting notes about Bus 142
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    Hi Valda,

    Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I'm a firm believer that you must be prepared for all contingencies. McCandless walked out into the woods with little equipment and a bit of rice to eat. The guy who gave him a ride to the drop off point gave him a pair of boots to wear. He wasn't prepared at all and it is no doubt that he didn't make it out alive. I appreciate the kind review.

    Kim
Comment from honeytree
Excellent
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Very interesting art work
the words written interesting as well.
I wouldn't go on a trip as this one
one would have to be very brave.
Written very well.

Honey tree

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    Hi Annie,

    Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I think that is a smart decision. :) I appreciate your comments.

    Kim
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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A globally popular story in a poem, so clearly and interestingly expressed how an abandoned bus turned a magic bus into the wild in Alaska, I enjoyed the narrative taletelling, free flow of thoughts in imagery and in rhymes.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    Hi Alcreator,

    Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I'm happy that you enjoyed this selection and appreciate your comments.

    Kim
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written story in a poem about a true historic event. When we do not know the wild or the area it is better not to try an adventure there you may end up dead. Some people will never learn this simple lesson.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    Hi Sandra,

    It really is a simple lesson, isn't it? Thanks for the great comments! If you're up for a laugh, I just put recording of a Robert Service poem on my Profile Thoughts. :)

    Kim
Comment from Nika2016
Excellent
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I saw this movie and it left me with the feeling that I will never visit Alaska, even though my brother took hikers into the wild as a tour guide in Alaska. No way to cross the river! As horrible as an avalanche while mountain climbing...not me. You tell a great story.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    Hi Nika,

    Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I'm glad that you enjoyed this selection. As long as you respect nature and you are smart about it you're fairly safe. You just have to approach it with intelligence, which I'm sure your brother did if he was a guide. I appreciate your comments.

    Kim
reply by Nika2016 on 06-Apr-2017
    I live in a wild forest, but I like balance....Once nature becomes large enough to engulf me..I am out...That is how Alaska feels to me...and the sea...which I love, but would never leave shore...smile..
Comment from CD Richards
Excellent
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I'm well acquainted with the story, and you've done a magnificent job of recounting it as part of your "warning". You've also shown excellent humour throughout. I know you don't like to to talk about meter, so I won't ;-)

I was reading something a few minutes ago that they've passed a law making it legal to go and shoot bears in their dens while they are asleep, and also in national parks from helicopter. You probably know more about that than I do - I hope they mean with cameras.

Congrats on a fun read, and best of luck with the contest!
Craig




 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    Hi Craig,

    Go ahead and run the meter, I'll pay for it later lol I've read a little bit about that law and it isn't quite what it sounds like when you read the actual law. Here is a stupid thing, though... they are making those laws at the Federal level. The Obama administration took the Parks and Rec oversight away from the states and that law was in the works before Trump took over, by the way. (Just so you weren't blaming him out of turn lol)

    Thanks for the great comments. I'll be waiting for part 2...

    Kim
reply by CD Richards on 06-Apr-2017
    I didn't blame anyone, other than whomever it is who thinks its ok for people to get their jollies out of killing sleeping animals, and in places where they've learned they're safe. That must make those big bad hunters feel really brave. You've said there's more to the laws than that, so if it isn't as it has been portrayed, then that's something, I guess :)

    P.S. You sure it wasn't the Don? Seems his boys go in for that sort of thing ;-)
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    I'm positive, it was an Obama thing.
Comment from Sis Cat
Excellent
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Yes, I knew it. I was about to say that your poem reminded me of Robert Service's The Cremation of Sam McGee when I read your author's notes. Of course. Your poem is well rhymed and darkly humorous:

It's also true that they need rescue and some they cannot save;
attempts to cross can cause a loss and a Teklanika grave.

You told quite a tale about what happens to Sourdoughs in Alaska:

At best, you'll live to tell your kids about your stunning trips;
at worst, you'll be the first of your friends drunk off your lips --
and then I'll bet you won't regret a tale of misguided youth,
then you'll be free of tragedy, if not memories uncouth.

Your story in a poem was fun and pays a fine homage to the great Robert Service. Thank you for sharing your epic tale. I wish you success in the contest.

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    Hi Andre,

    Robert Service is one of my all time favorites. Living in Alaska, I grew up on his poetry. One that will always stick with me was recited to us by my sixth grade teacher. It is called, "Bessie's Boil." If you aren't familiar and want a good laugh, I suggest you Google and have a read, you won't regret it.

    Thank you for the fantastic comments. It is the Cheechakos that get themselves in trouble, us Sourdoughs try to warn them.

    Kim
reply by Sis Cat on 06-Apr-2017
    The Service is a genius. I just listened to Bessie's Boil. Thanks for thee laughs.

reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    I am glad you got a good laugh! :) Thanks for finding this, I'm going to post on my Profile thoughts. The teacher I told you about recited it with all of the accents, too. Yep, Service was brilliant.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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Wow, Kim, this is awesome. No 6 stars. There have been many good poems for reviewing & I' all out.

Your poem does remind me of The Cremation of Sam McGee. That was a gunny, for the most part, poem. Yours is more serious. You did an excellent job with the internal & end rhymes.

You told the story well. I remember seeing this story on 60 minutes a while back. He certainly was a fool who did not live to tell his story except in what was found/written. Your picture is perfect. Anyone who thinks they can better mother nature is crazy, stupid, or????

I like the chosen format as it lent itself naturally to tell this sad story. I like the repeated verse at the end.

You are an accomplished writer & it shows. I know you researched this well before writing it.

Good job & thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 05-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    Hi Jan,

    I didn't have to research much. We read the stories every year of the tourists that come from all over the world to trek out to that bus. Credit the book and Sean Penn's movie for that. In 2013 a group from Germany had to be rescued. A lady from Switzerland lost her life in the Teklanika River. There are blogs and websites all over the internet dedicated to that bus. It really is crazy. Most of us up here think they are all foolish for making that hike, especially since they are often ill prepared.

    I'm happy you enjoyed this one. Robert Service is one of my all time favorites. Do you want a good laugh? Google his poem, "Bessie's Boil." It will make you laugh for sure!

    *Hugs*

    Kim